moving on after bereavement

wisewoman -Thankyou - she is a very thoughtful little girl and was extremely close to her grandad - unfortunately she is the only one who has any memories of him and we often hear her talking about him to her sisters

Oh Dancinggran, I am crying reading this. What a beautiful tribute to her grandad. What a thoughtful wee girl.

The first year is most definitely the most difficult. It is now 5 years since my DH passed away. Eventually the clouds being to lift and then a little sunshine appears and those bright, happy days increase. It takes time but you do survive and begin to live and enjoy life, in a slightly different way.

Grandchildren are definitely a blessing and have helped me on many occasions.
Our eldest grandaughter just recently had to do a Family Tree and write about each of her relatives. When it came to her grandad she wrote ' My grandad is a bright star who looks down on me and looks after me from the sky, I only knew him for 31/2 years but he used to take me to the cafe and buy me a drink and some Jaffa Cakes'
It brought tears to my eyes and then I thought how wonderful John would have thought that was.

narg the message from Gally is from the heart. I trust that your wee granddaughter will be a comfort to you. to you both.

narg this first year will be the hardest. It does get better. It's almost 10 years for me now and I've survived as you can see!
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Enjoy your GDs birthday.

I find that family occasions like this are hard. It's the one who should be there but isn't that makes it so bitter-sweet. I too hope that the joy your little GD brings will lighten your heart and lift your spirit.

narg and gally

narg Count your blessings and enjoy the day, don't let sorrow overcome the joy of your Gds birthday

Hello narg and Gally I hope when you see your little GD today, that she brings a smile to your face, I'm sure she will, take care.

Narg Life is going to go on like that for a long time, sadly. 'They' say it does become easier in time, but you and I know that right now it seems that things couldn't get any worse. Just remember that there are many of 'us' all going through the same horrible feelings and emotions and nothing is going to change the situation in which we find ourselves. I will be thinking of you this afternoon, celebrating your gd's birthday; you will get through it and will have a happy day for her sake. I've had to do it 2x this year and have also welcomed 2 new grandchildren into the family whose Grandad will never know them. I find when I am at my lowest and despairing, something always happens to lift me out of it - whether it be a phone call or a kindness from a stranger. Keep posting on GN. I have had so much support and help from all the lovely GNs over the last few months and some days the does shine, albeit it rather weakly!

narg a bittersweet day for you. (((hugs)))

Today is my GD first birthday. I remember how excited my husband and I were when she was born and visiting them in the hospital.
This afterenoon I will be attending her birthday party along with the other Grandparents. I feel so alone . Crying again.

trendygran Lovely message.

narg My sympathy for the loss of your husband .
Keep posting or just browsing through Gransnet and you will find that it is full of 'little patches of sunshine'
Gnetters will be your support and will make you laugh and cry, so welcome

Gransnet is a real godsend after bereavement,I find. Most of my friends still have their partners and, although they have been supportive, some especially so, they really don't understand how lonely it can still be at times.
I try to keep busy by volunteering , joining a couple of societies, meeting friends when possible etc. As I believe Esther Rantzen said, the hardest thing is "Having no-one to do nothing with". Being able to read about so many subjects, and write about some of these on GN. is a godsend.It makes us realise that we are never the only ones in whatever situation and that in itself is a great help. Stay on GN, it's definitely positive in that time after bereavement.

narg and all the others out there who are suffering out there from losing loved ones,I send you hugs and love. keep posting on here ,it is life enhancing and comforting.

narg...well done! With every day you'll get stronger and stronger...

I would like to thank you all for your kind messages of support and advice.
Even though it is raining this morning and dark outside reading all your messages has lifted my mood.Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply.
Going to a Cruse meeting this morning so will get out. Am trying to have something on the calendar each day to focus on.
Jeni your post made me laugh so much and cheered me up no end.

narg welcome I hope that we Gransnetters can help you through the coming days/weeks/months/years.... Like we say to others, keep popping in, no need to post if you don't feel up to it, but reading other posts sometimes just helps a little and makes it fel like your not on your own,

thankyou elegran soop Littlenellie

Thinking of all of you who are grieving for your loved one

jeni I now have that image of you firmly in my mindxxxxx

I'll survive I expect. Arthritis flare up at present.
I've had resort to a helping hand to load the washing machine otherwise I suspect I'd end up in it!
Imagine.
Fat legs at end of purple clad bottom sticking ult of washing machine, wriggling madly while muffled shouts issue from the interior!

jeni biker elegran when and ladybird and [smiles] to you all. xxxxx

jeni how are you today it is your anniversary I believe hope the pain in your feet is better,and that you are happier now you have written your reportxxxxxxlove nellie

nargwelcome and sympathy.

narg for your sadness today and for your sadness at losing your husband a warm hand on your shoulder from me,it won't ease your pain,but to show how sad I feel that you are hurting this way,welcome to GN and the warmth and support that you will receive.

when,elegran,gen,biker love and hugs for you also,and ladybird after her poignant post on Sunday lunch last week...thinking of you allxxxxxlove Nellie