moving on after bereavement

I am fortunate in not having being in the same position as you ladybird except for the devastation when I lost my Mum, but I send you huge hugs and .
I hope today is a good day, but good day or 'not so good' there always seems to be someone 'on line' here at Gransnet.
Like you I like the 'anonymity' of this site - you can say what you like with no fear of anyone identifying you and without upsetting anyone. Also if anyone seems to really touch you you can always 'personal message' them and get great support.
Huge hugs my love, life will get easier but take it a day (or even an hour!) at a time and most importantly do things in your time not when people say you should! More and keep on Gransnet!

Hello ladybird9 - I was widowed twelve years ago when I was 52 as was my husband. He had been terminally ill for just over a year so I suppose in some ways I was already preparing myself for life without him. I found it was friends who helped me through though those first early days of widowhood, friends who allowed me to talk not only about how I was going to carry on but also to talk about my husband, which I wanted so much to do. Just talking is so important. I had - and still have - a dog, which meant I had to be up and out in the mornings, even when I found it hard to face the day and just walking and thinking (and crying!) helped. I was given the advice never to turn down an invitation - not always easy advice to follow at the beginning. Being single again takes some getting used to, but just take it one day at a time. You may find, as I did, that you feel quite proud of yourself when you do something new on your own that you would never have thought of doing in the past, such as going to the cinema. You may even find you quite enjoy it. There are no rules for grieving - just take it slowly. There will be good days and bad day and days when you think you have cracked this grieving thing only to find that the next day you are down again. But over time you will find that there are more good days than bad and life seems worth living again and can be fun. Be patient - it will come.

I was widowed about twenty years ago, and can still remember how much it helped to have a counsellor from Cruse Bereavement Care. Of course, time is a healer but I don't know any "best" ways to deal with it. If you can see this as another stage in life, like emigrating or having a baby etc., it might help in realising that there is a different way of living opening up, and some things will actually be better and easier for you. Do try Cruse, they have lots of practical leaflets as well as social events and experienced counsellors and volunteer workers. Best wishes for the future.

ladybird9 any time you feel that you need a cheerful pick me up come in and have a chat there is always someone here for you,we have nice sensible conversations and sometimes daft and funny conversations so when the mood takes you please remember to join us

ladybird9 xxx

ladybird9 - x

to all of you lovely understanding ladies that took the time to reply to my recent post I thank you, yes you are all right to 'air' views certainly relieves a little of the inner feelings. I will continue to log into Gransnet and hopefully contact each and everyone of you for your kindness.
I wish you all a good day, today, tomorrow and always
xxxxx

ladybird9 This is a really good place to share exactly how you are feeling and it isn't strange. You can say whatever you want without worrying and people will understand. Just being able to do that is a great help I find and you will get support and help. Just keep posting and I am sure that others, who have been in your situation, will respond as well. Meantime, all best wishes from me.

ladybird |I am sorry that you are sad and although I am not a widow I did experience a very difficult bereavement after my mother and then my father died. the problem was I had such a bad relaitionship with my mother and I never understood her dislike of me. It did take a number of years and even now I am very angry with her. Would it be a good idea to talk with someone professional who can help you make the adjustments. I hope this is not one of the down day and send you best wishes.

I've not been bereaved Ladybird but I think time, and an open mind will help you to move on with your life.
Take it slowly and come on here to unload whenever your feelings get too much for you.
We are happy to listen and help if we can

No ladybird its not strange to feel the need to voice these feelings, I think in all relationships we have our differences. I have not been in your situation but I think possibly taking each day as it comes is the best advice and things will become a little easier for you.. and you can look back on your time together with joy and love.