moving on after bereavement

Wish I could come round and make you a . Don't go away.

Learnergran, ((((hugs)))).

Learnergran,

Oh no. How awful for you learnergran are you alone or have you family with you?

Dear,dear Learnergran, keep coming back.I'm very sad for you and send you love

I became a widow very suddenly yesterday afternoon. I cannot sleep and have been reading GN. I find this so comforting. Especially "take one day at a time and if that it too much one hour a a time". This is what I will try to do.

(((Hugs)) to all of you, don't despair, your loved ones wouldn't want you to be unhappy, they would send you and xx

Jendurham
How I feel for you; I won't say I know exactly how you feel, because I don't - we all feel differently about our loss. Mr.G died, very suddenly, 9 months ago this week too. I have my up and down days and I think that as anniversaries come onto the horizon, it makes life very difficult and sad but we have to look at the positives and try to look forward too. In November it will be his birthday - last year we had a big party, then in December it will be our 39th anniversary, then Christmas to get through, then in January, like you, the first anniversary of his death and so on...... Strangely, I don't feel uncomfortable or too sad when I visit places we went together; yesterday I was in a shop where we were the day before he died - we had a cup of tea and a cake and I made myself go and look at the place where we sat - and I felt quite ok about it. Like you, some days I just can't believe it and I think that is the hurdle we have to get over but take comfort in the fact that there are quite a few of us on GN who are in the same position and understand how truly dreadful you feel.

I've just read through all the sad posts on this thread and feel really humbled by the bravery shown by the widows and the compassion and support shown by GNs. How fortunate we are to have each other.

I do hope that those suffering bereavement are getting through the days with a little lightening of the sadness.

baubles Hope you are keeping well.

Jendurham You live so near to Blackbird that it is a pity you cannot meet. She has not posted for a couple of months, so I hope she is still reading these posts. Remember that you could send her a private message (click on "private message" on the purple strip just above her post) which she would be alerted to by an email from GNHQ to her regular email address.

jendurham if you keep coming back to this site you will find so much help and support from people who can empathise with you. I'm so sorry for your loss

Blackbird, this is the first time I have written on this site.
My husband died 9 months ago yesterday, at ten to midnight. He had been ill for a few years, having fallen off a ladder and broken his back in 1996.
He never went to work again. 5 years ago he was diagnosed with cerebellar ataxia, which is a bit like motor neurone disease. He was told he could be in a wheelchair in 2 years or 20 years. No cure.
In September last year he had a fit and they discovered a brain tumour. He was operated on in October, but never recovered. He died in January, at 65 years old.
Blackbird was one of the songs we played at his funeral,because wherever we lived we had blackbirds nesting in the garden, and we watched them out of the bedroom window after we moved to our bungalow. He used to play Beatles songs to me on his guitar.
I live near Durham, not far from you. Ken was born in Ashington, and lived in Broomhill, near Amble. He went to Morpeth Grammar School.
We used to go up to Bamburgh and Warkworth quite regularly.
The last time we holidayed in Alnwick was when it was our youngest son's 40th birthday, but we went to the Alnwick Gardens and castle quite often.
Some people say you should not go back to places that remind you of before he died. In that case I would not go anywhere.
Sorry, can't write any more. Too upset.

Just to say thanks to all these sensitive and caring gransnetters who have posted on this thread. You have reached out to those in mourning and given them a shoulder to lean on. To know this site is here and giving some support and comfort is one of the best things about the Internet.
Huge thanks also to Tim Berners Lee who gave us all the World Wide Web and made it all possible.
Cheers everyone.

greatgrandma

I have found all these comments extremely helpful everybody suffering in the same way my husband died after 67 years of marriage and I have found it difficult but reading all these comments I feel better already. Thanks.

Dancinggran I too was touched by your post, and you saying that only your oldest DGC, who sounds lovely, has any memories of your husband.
My Mum's father was killed in a car accident 3 years before I was born, but Mum was always telling me how much he would have loved me and my sister.
There was a lovely photograph of him on our sideboard and Mum and Grandma talked about him all the time, so that although as I got older I realised the sadness of it, somehow the Grandpa I never knew was a real presence in my life, and I think of him still. I hope that helps and and to you and narg and gally and all the other grans who are grieving.

I am pleased to have found this thread as a dear friend has recently lost her husband after years of looking after him. Of course she is devastated and I'm on here now to look for ways of helping her through all this.
She doesn't really want to go out due to panic attacks and feeling vulnerable so I visit for chats as much as possible. She keeps saying she feels she is a nuisance which of course she is not, but I'd like to arrange a little treat as a surprise but not sure what.
Unfortunately she has no family near and lost touch with a lot of friends as she was carer for her husband and wouldn't leave him.
Any thoughts welcomed.

narg We're here to listen and to help you to

I too hope you manged to enjoy the party after all, am sure people will allow for you to feel emotional, is very hard to you and early days.

we all try support each other on here I have noticed tho I am quite newbie is lovely forum I think x

narg

narg hope the birthday party was bearable for you yesterday,and today is another step forward for you ....there are a lovely lot of people on herexxx

Once again I would like to thank you all for your kind messages of support.
I am amazed and truly humbled that strangers have taken so much time and effort to reply. Your words of wisdom have helped me to face the days ahead and I have re-read them many times.
I log in most days and often find something to make me smile on the forums.
Thank you all

narg so sorry for your loss, but please count your blessings in that you can be part of your grand childrens lives, sadly my husband and I may well go to our graves not seeing our youngest one.

Sorry that sounds awful but I do not mean it to, just trying to get you to focus on the positive bits.

It does not bear thinking about to lose your life partner, and would imagine is still early days 2 years is not that long.

keep posting and it does help to hear from other people and as you said when you are not seeing them you can be more candid maybe.

One does move on but there will always be sadnesses. It's the nature of the beast. It's because they did matter.

Strangely I don't find anniversaries as in birthdays and marking the deaths, difficult.

It's watching the tv programmes alone and knowing what comments he might well have been making, that I still find difficult after two years. But it is changing. I can now tell friends about what he would have said in a particular situation - and can laugh!