But always remember you can do all the checks you like, but because the person you might be wondering about has never been convicted or presented the police with concerns it does not mean they are safe.
90% of abuse is perpetrated by people known to the family.
This has a lot of information
www.nspcc.org.uk/preventing-abuse/child-abuse-and-neglect/grooming/what-is-grooming/
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Ask a gran
Where can my little one find a 'surrogate' grandparent?
(98 Posts)Hi
My son is almost fours years old and is a wonderful (as I am always told)treasure to be very proud of. However, both his grandparents, on both mine and my partner's side have now passed away and he has never known grandparents.
We live a long way from family and friends and I desperately want him to have someone older in his life who will spoil him with lots of hugs and affection that grandparents are so wonderful at giving.
He gets very little in the way of presents so I over compensate at Xmas and birthdays and feel desperately sad when his friends get lots of impromtu presents and more importantly intimate affection that can only be found in that special relationship that a child has with his grandparents.
I contacted my local age concern because I know there are a lot of lonely older people out their who would love to have an 'adopted' family in order not to be so alone, but they said it was an unusual request and they could not help.
Surely I cannot be alone in this day and age of nuclear families, where children are without grandparents and older people are desperate for the company of a family once again?
I completley understand that you have to be very very careful ad there are a lot of very bad people out there and that is why I have not pursued it until now - how on earth to you start such a trusting relationship with a complete stranger?
I wondered if there is someone who could help me find 'grandparents' for my little one and thought the maybe someone on granset may know of friends who are in my area, who would like to become part of our family.
I watched a documentary on this subject and I felt nauseated, I would hope that no parent would invite this kind of attention by allowing strangers into their lives.
Hi there, I have just turned 50 and sadly have no children. I would love children in my life but as much as that I know that my parents would love children in their lives. They both have hearts of gold, have been and continue to be the best parents I could ever have hoped for and I am sure would be fantastic surrogate grandparents. They have a lot of love to give. I live in Lancaster and they live in Keswick. Please get in touch if interested.
Absolutely safeguarding has to be a primary concern but I have been DBS checked on a regular basis for various jobs (doing an MA in social work) and would be happy to meet up in public and for the relationship to develop slowly.
Thanks
Hello everyone!.
I have just joined gransnet, I'm a lonely Gran I have 5 wonderful G/children most now live in Perth Australia, I miss them so much.
I have one G/daughter here in the UK she is now 18, she does come over a couple of times a month, which I love, but I could be a mums helper- or sitter, or just a friendly gran.
I live in Lytham St Annes...
Hello pippyLongstocking,
i sent you a message, but not sure it sent correctly
Thanks
The little lass next door solved it for herself - she made friends with me, and now we do lots of things together. I, and another neighbour and friend, expand her horizons a lot. She just uses our given names, but we fill in for her grandparents I'm sure. One set are only a 4 hour drive away, at a coastal resort, but she only sees them every couple of months.
A grandparent of my acquaintance, Roly Sussex (a broadcaster, linguist and my former lecturer) always buys his far away little grandchildren two copies of every children's' book he chooses. He keeps one himself and reads to them on skype, while they hold their own copy.
It would have been nice if skype and PCs were around when my kids were little.
I placed some ads on Facebook to do just this ... Be a granny or anutie to a family .. but I've received all kinds of negative comments and abuse.
The ad was along these lines;
SUDBURY ONLY (as no personal transport)
FREE Out-grown Auntie seeks new role .. Auntie or Granny on offer (NOTE: I have already been rejected by the youngest of 10 years!) !!
I hated when I was a kid that I had no grandparents, but I loved the role of being an Auntie to my wonderful nieces and nephews.
Does anyone lack either (granny or auntie) in the lives of their children or could do with an additional ‘hands-on’ one?
Drop me a message if you have a space for a now Defunct Auntie!
I wouldn't have sole care for a child, I am crb checked from nursery work last year and I would just like to be an auntie or gran again.
All the best in your quest - there ARE good people out there that would like to be a part of it.
I think there is a thread about "adopting a granny" you could try a search. Personally I would never "advertised" it seems to attract the "nutters". Try AGE UK too.
Hello
Both my sons live abroad and they haven't got any children I would love to be able to be a grandma to children in this country. My husband and I are in our fifties and would like be adopted grandparents.
I have always worked with children and miss their happy faces each day so I feel we could offer quality time with children who perhaps haven't got any grandparents.
My sons were very lucky and had a very close relationship with their grandparents so I know how important it is.
We live in Warwickshire.
If anyone feels their children are missing out on family life without grandparents we may be able to help fill that gap.
This is a great idea.
This discussion is so wrong. Just too creepy.
why is it creepy, its a great idea connecting generations for mutual benefit, skills could be passed down etc. Not everyone is out to abuse a child fgs stop being so negative.
A successful scheme runs in Australia.
Hi camilla1987, I'm in Norfolk and would like to be a surrogate granny.
I feel the checks would have to work both ways, so the young couple with the cute child are not out for fleecing off a granny with some money because she is alone and vulnerable.
It is another sad side to modern living that people often live miles/countries/continents away from family and have no friends to speak off but modern reservations/rules will not allow them to be brought together.
Back when my kids were growing up everybody knew everybody and there was always a baby sitter available if one was needed. My children use to visit some of the elderly residents and buy them a pint of milk or a loaf of bread and go into their house and keep them company, nowadays you would be considered reckless or thought badly of for doing this.
As the article says - this is a beautiful idea:
metro.co.uk/2015/06/23/this-nursery-in-an-old-peoples-home-is-everything-thats-right-with-the-world-5261086/
Connecting children without grandparents with people with no grandchildren is a beautiful idea, and it deserved to work BUT it would have to have safeguards for everyone. You can't just have one list of potential loving grans/grandads and another of cute kids. In between you have to have filters to catch those who would exploit any of the participants.
ditzyangeluk If you can't see why it was a bad idea to advertise your children on Facebook, your name of ditsy doesn't do you justice.
Hi, I'm hoping to open this thread up again....I wondered if anyone had any luck finding some grandparents for their family :-) It is definitely something that I'd love to do as I feel that my kids miss out by not having actively involved grandparents...I also miss out on a parental relationship and the support that may give.
I would just like to stress that I am not looking for a babysitter or for anything other than an older person to spend time with us a family so that we could have a mutually rewarding relationship, so please don't feel the need to warn me about leaving my kids with a stranger etc because that wouldn't be happening anyway.
Many thanks
I do hope you open this thread up again. My husband and I would love to "adopt" grandchildren in our area of West Yorkshire. We have all the skills for certain.
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Here I go again. You could try to volunteer with Homestart working with a family with children under 5. I have done it for 2 years and have close links with a couple of lovely families .
Lullydully that sounds much the safest way to go for both sides.
I searched for it online so is this it Lully? www.home-start.org.uk/
Yes synonymous. That's it. It is nationwide.
They do a weekly interesting training, you get CRB ( I know it has changed its name). and assign you to a family for 2 hours a week.
I visit 2 now and just gave up one before that. It's good because you do not have a professional role. Just a helpful friend with listening ear. One mother has no self confidence so we are hitting the playgroup near to her to help her meet friends. The other has a disabled child and we just talk for the time of over a cup of tea. It like an older auntie role I take . It is a very powerful relationship. Worth a go.
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