Where can my little one find a 'surrogate' grandparent?

Reported

Saw your message - I also live in Worcestershire and have a daughter who has a six year old and is also pregnant again but I'm not always available as my husband and I travel a lot so she spends a lot of time on her own.
She would love to spend time with someone like yourself as she lives on her own and feels very lonely.
I would like you to get in touch

I've read this thread with great interest, as I'm 59 with two wonderful grown up children, neither of which has any interest in having children. Nothing would give me more pleasure than becoming a surrogate grandmother and enjoying doing all the things I enjoyed with my children - going to the park/zoo/cinema, cooking, making crafts, reading etc.
I fully understand peoples concerns about safeguarding, and steps should be taken to ensure the safety of both your children and the prospective surrogate grandparent. Fortunately these incidents are rare and shouldn't stop parents, whose children are missing out on having a grandparent, finding someone to be that influence in their children lives.
If anyone happens to live in or near Bristol and would like to get in touch with me, I am CRB/DBS checked because of my job and my work with young children. I'd be more than happy to offer references and go through any checks and answer any questions, however probing, that you may have.

Just discovered this thread and found the stories really moving. Did you find a surrogate family nannymagic?

Just discovered this old thread and found the stories really moving. We desperately miss having parents/grandparents in our lives after sadly losing our lovely nana earlier this year. Any lovely grandparents wanting to adopt a loving family with three young teenagers please get in touch. Manchester area...

Nooo!
Read all the posts and do not rush into anything.

I felt really unsure when I saw this thread whilst it's a wonderful idea I think it's something that needs deep consideration and much more safeguards on both sides than a quick advert on a public forum

For reasons too numerous to go into I'm looking for someone kind, loving and interested in being a grandparent to our little boy...and a surrogate mum to me...in the crowborough area x

Ahh well you can only warn

We have several threads on this situation. It is impossible to guarantee anyone is not a potential danger to children.
But that really does not mean most people might be.
It is a mine field really.

Maybe the more isolated parents could consider first and foremost this as them as parents befriending an older person (via Age UK or such) to visit, regularly then taking their children with them as a bonus.

Trouble is there is an age imbalance here, those who are parents with school age children are usually rushing about for their work or such and the older people who are lonely are probably those with poor mobilty etc and could not be active enough to do outings etc.
As long as parents are about at the same time potential risks are reduced. Advertising for this as such is not a good idea .

That experiment with the care home in Bristol had great benefits and could work.

Although I think it is unlikely that I will have natural grandchildren now it has long been a wish of mine. Does anyone know of a reliable site that matches families who are looking for a grandparent with prospective grandparents?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sorry wrong thread and don’t know how to delete!

There is obviously a need for a reputable organisation to set up relationships between young children and older people, to the benefit of both. However, the responsibility of introducing "grandparents" and "grandchildren" is an immense one! Trust is at the bottom of the whole thing, by everyone. If anything at all went wrong at any time in the future, blame would be fall on the organisation, and their reputation be lost, to say nothing of the disaster to the participants.

First of all, every applicant, from both sides, parent and grandparent (plus any adult children or relatives who might come into contact with the children) would have to be professionally screened to weed out any with a dodgy history of dealings with vulnerable children and senior citizens, or a record of conning old people out of their savings or exploiting their love of youngsters. Each person applying may know that they themselves are trustworthy and genuine, but no-one else does!

It couldn't end there. Having no past criminal record would not rule out future actions,whether financial, sexual, or social. The agency would have to keep in contact with all parties and be informed of changes of address and of other circumstances (remarriages? Altzheimers?) that might alter things. The whole point is that it would be an ongoing relationship.

I am not saying that it would be impossible to run such an organisation, only that it would have to be officially (and probably expensively) set up, with access to secure information, having training, insurance and so on, and that it would have to be very special, being caring and sensitive, efficient, and rather ruthless if necessary.

I think this is a brilliant idea. I would very much like to be a surrogate grandparent to anyone who needs me. I am crb checked because of my voluntary work. I live in Surrey.

If it’s done through a proper channel with full checks on all sides or if it’s done through neighbours or friends well known to you and I mean well known it’s great BUT and it’s a big but I have seen families groomed (this was within my work) one family in particular the mother was groomed every bit as much as the child and trusted the ‘grandparent’ totally the child was subsequently abused and the mother totally distraught... on the complete reverse kind grannies can get taken fir a ride so all I would ever say is BE SO CAREFUL and don’t trust the internet you have absolutely no idea who anyone is

I do not agree with it- too many problems.

I do not have any grandchildren but at my last house I became friendly with the couple next door and I used to babysit as she could not trust her own scatty mother. This was when the child was around 3 and I was at her 16th birthday party although they and I had moved.

I don't see this as risking a small child in the company of strangers because the OP was quite clear she was aware of the risks.

Obviously, any parent would spend a lot of time with a potential granny, in her home and outside, getting to know the person before any contact whatsoever between the granny and child.
And then there would always be supervised access for many weeks or months.

Even natural grandmothers are not always suitable, or even safe.

My own grandson, 10 now, has been advised that if I fall or for any reason am sick whilst he is at my house, he'll call the emergency services.
So supervised access of a child too young to do this, is essential.

PS: This post brought back some happy memories of when my parents in law lived in Brockhampton House near Hereford and we spent many jolly holidays there.

Not for this poster, agreed, but there are others who may read it and think what a charming idea, who may not be as savvy about the possible dangers. I feel that it is worth pointing them out whenever this subject is raised on Gransnet.

There are heartwarming accounts of small children visiting care homes and bringing joy to the residents - but these visits are carefully organised and supervised.

I haven’t got any grandchildren yet. I would like to be prepared though if someone would give me a chance? I could be a takeaway granny?
Love Suzy D

This thread is 11 years old ?!!!! Why renew it
P

The original grandson must be 14 now and probably glued to his phone.