Dear Gran on Gransnet
First of all, apologies for the attention grabbing title but that's the crux of it.
I would like you opinion/perspective on an issue here where I have recently been scapegoated. I'm a mum to two lovely children and I cannot get their grandparents (my inlaws) to see eye to eye with me.
I want to know if this is a 'generation thing' where back in the old days, these skeletons were just swept under the carpet. Also, please let me know if I have acted out of term but currently, I'm just trying to understand and make sense of it all.
There were two concurrent police involved incidents and the boy in question is just 15 (both police incidents I pursued to have the boy not charged and for psychotherapy/counselling instead).
1) The boy let's call him Alan. (who is my husband's brother) exposed himself to my daughter at just 3 ys and 4months of age upstairs his bedroom, in his parents house (i.e., my inlaws!)
2) He was caught cruising online chat rooms and possession of indecent images and websites of children and babies - all with a fetish nappy website slant.
I have now been officially disowned and scapegoated and victimised. My husband is not sympathetic for 'rocking the boat' (I pressed for full disclosure to his brother who is now expecting a child) and feels he could have handled his parents better.
My inlaws could not understand the one reason why I wanted full disclosure:
To empower their other son who is expecting and enable them to make the right choices to keep their baby safe.
I have had every terrible adjective described under the sun about me like 'selfish/narrow minded/gun trigger/ home wrecker/bad mother' in a charade of text message and verbal abuse (to which my husband said it is my fault for receiving them!!)
I can tell you I have acted throughout this with integrity and politely with no inflammatory adjectives of who they are or are not but not ONCE did my inlaws EVER submitted the reason I did!
So please grandparents, help me explain my inlaw's - my children's grandparents because I still.....can not.
Thanks for reading,
starrycole Sat 16-Jun-12 17:13:00
Bags Sat 16-Jun-12 17:32:05
JessM Sat 16-Jun-12 17:33:37
whenim64 Sat 16-Jun-12 17:48:28
JessM Sat 16-Jun-12 18:10:45
whenim64 Sat 16-Jun-12 18:16:09
jeni Sat 16-Jun-12 18:36:48
starrycole Sat 16-Jun-12 18:48:17
starrycole Sat 16-Jun-12 18:49:55
Bags Sat 16-Jun-12 19:10:14
JessM Sat 16-Jun-12 19:16:58
whenim64 Sat 16-Jun-12 19:55:26
Annobel Sat 16-Jun-12 20:01:07
whenim64 Sat 16-Jun-12 20:06:34
glassortwo Sun 17-Jun-12 19:45:43
Greatnan Sun 17-Jun-12 20:34:12
glammanana Mon 18-Jun-12 11:38:22
Grandmanorm Mon 18-Jun-12 13:36:23
dorsetpennt Mon 18-Jun-12 22:18:04
petallus Tue 19-Jun-12 10:01:54
whenim64 Tue 19-Jun-12 10:16:28
petallus Tue 19-Jun-12 11:22:49
soop Tue 19-Jun-12 11:40:20
nanaej Tue 19-Jun-12 11:44:33
whenim64 Tue 19-Jun-12 11:53:53