Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

being tired at 65 and watching 6mo old

(35 Posts)
cag Sat 08-Dec-12 19:18:22

im watching my 6mo old grandson 4days a week,and when he leaves i am exhausted..being always pretty active ,im surprised and upset about feeling this way..any ideas? cag

annodomini Sat 22-Dec-12 09:23:43

cag, I hope you can negotiate a more favourable system in the coming year. Meanwhile have a happy Christmas. x x x smile

Maniac Sat 22-Dec-12 09:11:23

cag caring for a 6mth old 4 days a week ! I'm not surprised you are exhausted. Some negotiation or help needed I think.It will be harder when he is heavier and moving around.
Take care of yourself.
flowers

Ariadne Fri 21-Dec-12 20:18:45

Let's try to carry on giving cag the support she needs, eh? Said gently.

Ana Fri 21-Dec-12 18:35:38

Well, strictly speaking it wasn't your fault, Nanado! wink
Speldnan, you might want to move your post to the Last Tango in Halifax thread...

Nanado Fri 21-Dec-12 18:21:39

Sorry! I've done it again.

Speldnan Fri 21-Dec-12 17:52:51

I loved it too and ditto thought the toy boy line was hilarious and the Spooks actress brilliant and totally convincing! Anne Reid character's reaction to gay daughter was correct for her generation too-I've just fallen out with my elderly parents on this issue as they object to displays of gay affection on tv. It's their prerogative though as todays world is so different from the way it was in their formative years.
And yes this thread has been hijacked!!

Nanado Thu 20-Dec-12 20:25:44

At we on the wrong thread..,,,????

Nanado Thu 20-Dec-12 20:10:09

Yes, misunder I've watched every episode. Wonderful script and loved the humour eg beaten up gigolo / toy boy cluttering up the living room. Excellent performance from all the actors. Believe there's a one off follow up in the New Year.

misunderstood Thu 20-Dec-12 20:04:45

Has anyone been watching Last Tango in Halifax? Watched the final 2 episodes last night and spent nearly all of the programme with tears in my eyes. When they were jiving in the house it just reminded me of me and my hubby as this is what we do when there is nothing on the tv and we put the music on and chat. Also the part when she fell out with her daughter and how stubbern she was, that was also me and my daughter on occasions when we don't agree. I come from around these parts and as I know its Sally Wainwrights mums story I knew he wouldn't die but still it was a lovely ending and a brilliant series.

misunderstood Thu 20-Dec-12 20:03:37

Has anyone been watching Last Tango in Halifax? Watched the final 2 episodes last night and spent nearly all of the programme with tears in my eyes. When they were jiving in the house it just reminded me of me and my hubby as this is what we do when there is nothing on the tv and we put the music on and chat. Also the part when she fell out with her daughter and how stubbern she was, that was also me and my daughter on occasions when we don't agree. I come from around these parts and as I know its Sally Wainwrights mums story I knew he wouldn't die but still it was a lovely ending and a brilliant series.

shysal Thu 20-Dec-12 19:03:49

I too find childcare, although only occasional, tiring at 66. If you think you would find it difficult to explain, perhaps you could show them this discussion to let them know that this is normal. Our offspring seem to expect us to always be the same, and the gradual aging goes unnoticed, unless pointed out.
I hope you find a solution, cag, your health is important. flowers

Nonu Thu 20-Dec-12 18:33:55

It will be okay speldnan !

Speldnan Thu 20-Dec-12 18:11:37

Very interesting this as I am about to embark on caring for my 1 year old GS from January. I shall mind him in his house for 2 days per week. I did one day yesterday and it certainly is tiring and isolating just as others have said and strangely different from when you have your own children. I found it tiring looking after my own children but you are compelled to do it when they are your own and it just feels so different when you are a grandparent.
I adore my grandson and enjoy being with him but I know I will get tired-I also find it can be boring at that age when they can't talk to you yet (dare I say this?) as you can't really get on with anything much. I am apprehensive about how it will go but since I know it will be temporary, a year or two at the most, I feel it will be worthwhile in order to help my daughter and also to be an important part of my GS's life.
Will report back after a few months!

Nonu Thu 20-Dec-12 17:56:41

ANNO . CSL . lots of [fgrins] to you

dorsetpennt Thu 20-Dec-12 09:33:48

I regularly go up to stay with my son and his wife. He is a stay-at-home-work-from-home daddy. So I go to give him some respite and also its a chance for him to work uninterrupted. The two little girls are 3 and 1 and wellbehaved delightful children, the 3 year old goes to nursery 4 mornings a week. I usually stay from 4 days to a week depending. By the time I get home I'm totally exhausted and I usually have a cold courtesy of the 3 yer old. I've had a wonderful time but could I do 4 days a week on a permanent basis? At 68 years old no I couldn't. By this age we all have various aches and pains and if we are unlucky other health issues.
I think its asking a lot cag and you should discuss it with your daughter otherwise you are going to get ill.

Nanado Thu 20-Dec-12 09:22:54

cag I'm the same age as you and regularly look after my grandchildren. Yesterday I had all four ranging in age from 18 months to 6 tears, plus MrDog who makes a 5th child.

Faye is right, babies are hard. I've had them since they were babies and the 18 month old is the hardest. It does get easier as they get older, are potty trained, can be reasoned with, feed themselves, learn to play independently, etc.

But what I found hardest was the isolation at first. I had recently moved 200 miles and was unfamiliar with the area and had no friends close by. I decided I had to be proactive and find places with other people and other children; play groups, soft play centres, parks, playgrounds and so on. Or i just take thrm with me shopping or to garden centres, etc. It's much more tiring to stay at home. I either bundle them into the car or drag out the buggies.

granjura Wed 19-Dec-12 18:55:16

cag- you really have to discuss this with them openly and frankly. As a matter of interest, did you volunteer to look after him (mis-judging how tiring it would be) or where you asked/expected to do so? May have a bearing on how you tackle this.

annodomini Wed 19-Dec-12 18:09:23

Don't blame me, nonu. grin

nanapug Wed 19-Dec-12 17:57:20

There is a reason that the ability to have children stops at a certain age!

Nonu Wed 19-Dec-12 17:04:34

I"ve always said , childcare is a young womans game .

We might feel fit as a fiddle , but sometimes , the mind is willing but the flesh is weak .

Not our fault at all , just Anno Domini .

smile smile

hummingbird Wed 19-Dec-12 16:20:22

I look after my grandson, aged 3, one day a week. This is lovely, we get to do nice things together, and I feel very privileged to be sharing his life in this way. I used to look after his sister too, until she started school. However, I do find it quite exhausting. I am fit and active, but find looking after little ones quite a strain. I don't think I could, or would want to do any more than this, and have been quite clear with my son and dil that I cannot be the sole provider of child care in the holidays. I think it is important that you have an honest discussion with them. Perhaps you could put a time limit on it, say, six months, to give them time to make alternative arrangements. Good luck, Cag flowers

petra Wed 19-Dec-12 15:47:45

I find it not so much the physicle but the mental exhaustion. When my DD was in her room I wasn't up and down the stairs every 10 mins to see how she was; but I find myself worried all the time that she is ok when not in my sight.
Also, the continuous talking wears me out.

CHEELU Wed 19-Dec-12 14:56:57

sorry cag did not realise he was only six months old--A nice slow walk in the park used to help me because baby calm and pressure of entertaining him is off..

CHEELU Wed 19-Dec-12 14:53:21

Hi cag, when I am tired and need to take care of my grandson I usually do something with him that involves sitting down, like drawing, painting or a board game, I also take him to The Library because that's quite slow and relaxing, also reading a book and if really tired I do put on Children's TV for an hour. I was also surprised that I can get tired but we have done it all already and this is second time around for us...so it is to be a accepted....

cag Mon 10-Dec-12 23:21:37

thanks, but right now is no else, sometimes my husband is around..do you know what grandfaters 68 yrs old do? not much///cag