Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

When is the right time to retire

(150 Posts)
cheelu Sat 05-Jan-13 17:21:58

I dont think I wil early,

Retiredguy Thu 29-Jan-15 14:56:22

Certainly issues with houses are part of the narrative here, I expect that's the same whenever one moves though.
Our last move was twelve years ago and we had that house completely 'done up' by builders and fitted how we wanted it.
One mistake we have made here is to try and do too much ourselves and became pretty exhausted as a result.
That's not an issue now as we realise that what else needs doing will need professionals in to do it and that list grows daily.
There are very few 'locals' everyone I meet has retired here.
Worryingly there are lots of widows.
Health wise we all get older and another thing we did not take into consideration was the ready availability and accessibility of health care.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing but knowing what I know now, no way would I have countenanced this move at this stage.
My 'stable door' advice to anyone considering retirement and a move is to look and to downsize locally where you have networks and familiarity.

ginny Thu 29-Jan-15 13:18:52

Oh dear Retiredguy I have been worrying about friends of ours who have just moved to the coast. They had lived in our small town for 41 years and could always bank on seeing someone they knew when out and about. Their nearest family is 1-2 hours away. They are not people who tend to join clubs or societies and do most things together.

They have also found that there is far more work to be done on the house than they thought and yes, one of them is having health issues.

Here there would have been plenty of friends to help out if needed but now they are a good 4 hour drive away.

I hope things work out for them but I have my doubts that they will ever properly settle there happily.

Anya Thu 29-Jan-15 13:13:21

Forgot hmm

Anya Thu 29-Jan-15 13:13:01

confused wink grin smile

Nelliemoser Thu 29-Jan-15 13:07:47

Retiredguy Have you heard of this scheme? Men in sheds. I dont know how widly it operates.

www.ageuk.org.uk/professional-resources-home/services-and-practice/health-and-wellbeing/men-in-sheds/

Anya Thu 29-Jan-15 13:03:39

You have a way with words Retiredguy and I think you could turn this disaster experience into a book - a sort of Year in Provence The Dumps; A Cautiontionary Tale

Go for it. It will fill up your boring days and provide the income to escape.

Retiredguy Thu 29-Jan-15 12:51:19

There was a rather nice hotel at Weston was it 'Dauncey's Daffodil'.
Stayed there once for a conference, they had a palm court type group of three ladies playing at lunch time.
Dining room overlooked the mud and those big rock jobbies, food was excellent.

Galen Thu 29-Jan-15 12:48:49

Watch out retiredguy as a hells granny who lives on the coast just up from Weston super Mare, I love the quiter life!

loopylou Thu 29-Jan-15 12:33:40

They haven't changed much Mishap........ Still vast expanses of mud every time we have been there....never seen the sea in whenever we'd been there over the past 61 years smile

Mishap Thu 29-Jan-15 12:18:55

Ah - Weston-super-Mare - we used to call that and Burnham-on-Sea the dog shit capitals of the world. We had relatives living there and I spent a lot of time scraping the children's shoes. Ah, happy days!

I am sorry life lacks glamour Retiredguy - but your loss is others' gain as your example is a salutary lesson for all those who fancy retiring to their favourite holiday destination. We were tempted by both France and Pembrokeshire for the same reasons, but saw the light in time to draw back.

It is never too late to change your minds Retiredguy and if you are both unhappy, bite the bullet on the financial loss and get back to where you will be happy.

janerowena Thu 29-Jan-15 12:01:12

Saltfleetby, Theddlethorpe dunes. A very nice walk with your dogs, little beaches completely empty. The dunes are covered in sea buckthorn and hanging with lichen - very ghostly.

Retiredguy Thu 29-Jan-15 11:59:07

It is a beautiful stretch of coastline for sure and a mecca for wildlife.
We're close to the beach, out of our back gate and we're onto the dunes.
Thing is though you can only do so many beach walks.
We get two a day in with the dogs when the weather permits,which so far has been- usually'.
Since moving here in October we've only missed out getting onto the beach a handful of times.
No chance today though, it is sleeting sideways!
Pretty grim.

janerowena Thu 29-Jan-15 11:56:56

Woodthorpe Garden Centre is wonderful, go there if you haven't already. Even on nasty winter days there used to be loads of bored people wandering around.

We had a friend in Hampshire (a really refreshing change after Lincs, I can tell you!) who almost cried when his parents said they were moving to Burgh le Marsh. He visited them frequently with his family, and couldn't understand why they had moved to God's Waiting Room! He kept say, they are only in their 60s for heaven's sake!

janerowena Thu 29-Jan-15 11:49:47

grin grin grin We spent many, many days at Chapel Six Marshes. But visited every other village and beach along that route over the years, I still miss that beach though. You've walked through the nature reserve, I take it. Not the Skeg one, the one a bit further north, it's wonderful but I can't remember its name. It's really creepy in the winter!

My daughter went to Alford Grammar and had friends in Mablethorpe. I would take her there to meet them in the winter and shudder for them. She said several of them took drugs out of sheer boredom. I lived in a village just off the Skeg road, not far from Horncastle, and often wished I lived closer to the sea but knew I would actually hate it in the winter. It was better to be able to get into Lincoln, and Horncastle is a lovely village. oops. I used to get told off for calling it that. TOWN.

loopylou Thu 29-Jan-15 11:49:37

grin Retiredguy
Hardly surprising you're climbing the walls!
Sounds like a number of seaside places in winter...
We once went to Weston-Super-Mud on a dismal, mid-week winter's day and it was beyond depressing..... Had the distinct impression that the few hardy souls listlessly wandering around (most shops closed) were looking for a cliff to leap off like lemmings, but no cliffs in sight sad

Retiredguy Thu 29-Jan-15 11:37:59

We are indeed in Lincolnshire several villages up the coast from Skegness.
It's buzzing round here in summer and we've always enjoyed the ambience.
Winter though......
Crikey I have never known anywhere so utterly quiet.
I go down to the village cafe in clement weather for a morning cuppa and a chat.
It takes about fifteen minutes to walk down there and I seldom pass anyone walking .
When I get to the caff , if there are a dozen people about in the village that's a crowd.
Highlights of cafe society here include..
Marvelling at the Hells Grannies on mobility scooters.
Feeding Gravy Bones to friendly dogs in the cafe.
Comparing hospital horror stories.
Last week a learner driver backed into a bollard.
Four police cars attended in quite a short time.
We were still discussing that drama yesterday.
Boring does not cut it.
There's an almost Zen- like ennui.
smile

janerowena Thu 29-Jan-15 11:27:44

You aren't in Lincs, are you? I lived there for a while. We used to say it shut for the winter.

soontobe Thu 29-Jan-15 11:22:34

If it doesnt work out, you can move again.

Retiredguy Thu 29-Jan-15 11:18:24

Cliches before lunch!
Pretty good going I'd say Anya and you're right too.
smile
I wish for a big lottery win.
A million squids should sort it nicely.

Anya Thu 29-Jan-15 11:15:13

Aye Retiredguy it's true that you need to be careful what you wish for...

Full of clichés this morning, must be something I ate!

Retiredguy Thu 29-Jan-15 11:04:47

Spot on, we just can't anticipate what the future holds.
There's an old saying that goes......
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans."
On paper we're living the dream here.
Both early retired, downsized to the seaside, no debts, a bit in the bank and two reasonable occupational pensions coming in.
Fact is we're both pretty unhappy at the moment.
House has been a big issue with lots more to do than ever we anticipated.
Then the East Coast winter.
It's OK summer-holidaying in a place as we have done here for years, but off season this is quite a bleak place to be.
Out of the blue I started with a health issue not long after we moved here and have to go for a biopsy next Monday.
Health care is another issue in rural areas.
Hospitals are distant whereas where we lived before all the hospitals were in the city just seven miles away.
Closest one to us here is 35 miles away on awful unlit roads until almost there.
On top of that we're together now effectively 24/7 which has been a strain.
More so on Mrs Retiredguy than me.
She had a big network of chums and activities where we used to live and that's all gone unless she drives back there and stays over which is pretty much out at the moment.
Roll on summer!

Anya Thu 29-Jan-15 09:27:46

We never know what the future holds do we ann60 that must be very hard on you sad

loopylou Thu 29-Jan-15 09:23:44

I agree annsuxty
I'd always planned to retire at 60 but life has decided otherwise unfortunately. I resent somewhat having to retrain after redundancy at 60 when enforced learning seems so difficult.
Guess I just need to get on with it and stop whinging smile as have no other choice!

annsixty Thu 29-Jan-15 09:17:39

The bottom line seems to be that there in no right time. As some have said finance plays a huge part for some and ill health and redundancy force it on others. My H retired at 55 and I would be less than frank if I didn't say that,for a time ,we had to work hard to keep our marriage afloat. That was 23 years ago and we are still here, however I wouldn't recommend it. It was good training though for life today now he is losing all memory.

Anya Thu 29-Jan-15 08:26:32

I agree Falconbird and Brenda

You should retire when you feel it's best for you, but raising the retirement age was not the answer. Those who want, or need, to continue in work should have had that right protected. I too paid the full NI stamp all my life and paid into a Work Pension Plan. It wasn't easy managing especially when the children were very young and later when we had to help them through university, but I'm glad I did it now.