I am very sorry for your situation.Although I have not had your particular experience; I can sympathize because we (my daughter and her two children, both girls), and myself, have had our own similar problem.My daughter left her husband down south, and came to live near myself and my husband ten years ago when the children were young.As we have no other family apart from my sister, who is a widow, I hoped that she would get involved with the children in some way.But alas we were sadly disappointed, and she practically ignores them.I must say that in the past, she has had depression, and over the years I have tried to understand her behaviour, much as you have done with your father.But i feel that now is the time to stop.Stop being angry and upset.Stop trying to change his behaviour, and moving near to him will only bring you more heartache.Explain to your daughter that his attitude is wrong; that you yourself will never understand it, and if she dosnt want to go again, nobody is going to make her.Your father has had his life, and should not be allowed to ruin yours.I hope this helps!