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Campaign to end loneliness

(150 Posts)
LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Fri 18-Oct-13 10:04:41

Jeremy Hunt to highlight plight of 'chronically lonely'.
Do you have neighbours/friends/parents who are on their own a lot? Do busy families sometimes unintentionally neglect older members of their family?

Be great to hear gransnetters' views. How closely involved were your grandparents in your lives? Is it easier/more difficult these days to be as involved in your grandchildren's lives? Distance is an issue for many of course.

papaoscar Fri 19-Dec-14 12:49:54

We've been stuffed! Help, GNHQ!

papaoscar Fri 19-Dec-14 12:43:42


alex57currie Mon 01-Dec-14 16:37:13

papaoscar sometimes it's pleasant to drift rudderless. Can do us the world good. Take care fellow wanderer. grin

papaoscar Mon 01-Dec-14 16:31:02

Yes, * Alex57 *, I was drifting rudderless for a moment there, but am now restored to my perch on Health and the NHS. Apologies.

alex57currie Mon 01-Dec-14 12:44:51

papaoscar it would appear you're on the wrong thread, although making good points. grin

papaoscar Sun 30-Nov-14 13:58:40

Lost in space and time, * Eg*, but never lonely, thanks to Herself, friends. TV, radio, my Ipad, and of course, all you good people.

Elegran Sun 30-Nov-14 11:48:50

Are you lost, Papaoscar?

papaoscar Sun 30-Nov-14 11:39:09

A very disturbing thread, this one, and not for the squeamish. We, the Queen Bee and I, like to think that we love animals and have had cats, dogs, rabbits, chickens and ducks, although now its just one little dog. That lovely little canine is a ratter and has the killing skills of an assassin as regards rodents and birds (the latter - unfortunately).Our other livestock were subject to predators, and our Labradors used to chase small deer and catch rabbits and pigeons which I had to finish off, as I also did as regards our other livestock from time to time. So whilst I like to think that I am not red in tooth and claw, I might just be a little pink and do enjoy my roast chicken and pork chop, but I do love to see fine livestock well-raised, and have no time for cruelty to animalts. Is that a hypocritical attitude? If it is, I can live with it. What I found so sickening about the Nepal buffalo slaughter was the utter pointlessness and cruelty of it all, particularly the enthusiastic public participation. So, yes, at times I am ashamed to be part of the human race.

jenn Wed 20-Aug-14 14:44:37

I live alone with no family nearby I have friends,all who work, but it is so easy to lack motivation to do anything when you are on your own.A day pottering around the house is great ,occasionally ,but every day......
.I have realised that I am a slob one day and busy the next. Yesterday was a busy day long walk with the dogs,twenty lengths of the pool,good ride out then back to tidying up in the garden and friends round early evening ,today is completely different I havent spoken to anyone and it's an effort to get going.
A friend of mine said years ago that the price of independence was loneliness at the time I didn't know what she meant but now Imretired I can see what she was getting at. Sometimes it is so hard to do it alone and it's easier to do nothing and then the dark clouds arrive.
My son calls my horse my therapy and he is right even on the blackest of days I have to go.......I'm scared to think what I would have done without him
Good grief I have realised that if I didn't have to do him I may have had to go back to work!!!!!

papaoscar Tue 19-Aug-14 15:32:03

Wrong thread. Sorry!

papaoscar Mon 18-Aug-14 14:45:44

Ratchet - droppings from a large rodent

rubylady Fri 08-Aug-14 01:45:45

Hello newist nice to "meet you", lol. I hope you are well. smile

newist Thu 07-Aug-14 23:19:51

ruby I don't think I have "talked to you," hello, smile

rubylady Thu 07-Aug-14 22:50:05

I was lonely in my marriage. Now I have you lovely bunch to keep me company of an evening. Thank you. smile

papaoscar Thu 07-Aug-14 13:40:42

Sorry, wrong thread!

papaoscar Thu 07-Aug-14 13:39:40

The black rhino is actually grey

lilybet Mon 07-Apr-14 18:40:29

I have a very close friend younger than me by quite a few years. Her Mother had a stroke a few months ago. She has made an excellent recovery. But puts so much stress on to my friend. She has to make up excuses to get a day off. I do find myself thinking her Mother must be very lonely on those days or even be feeling frightened. I have suggested her Mother join some "groups" but she only wants her daughters company. Very hard on them both and my friends fairly young family.

Bellasnana Mon 07-Apr-14 16:38:01

Yes, and you can also be surrounded by people and still feel lonely sad

annodomini Mon 07-Apr-14 16:25:14

Loneliness is a state of mind. You can be alone without being lonely.

rockgran Mon 07-Apr-14 15:51:01

I think that not being lonely requires a bit of effort. It means sometimes going to an event you'd rather miss, accepting an invitation that is not quite convenient or putting up with the "quirks" of a friend.
My ex mother in law was always complaining that she never saw anyone but she was so critical of everything. She never accepted invitations out and soon lost friends because of some imagined slight. In short she was never keen to put herself out in order to be sociable and in the end people stopped visiting.
If we get unexpected visitors I try to be welcoming and if we get an invitation out we try to make it if at all possible. You never know when the offers will dry up and to have a friend you have to be one. It may not always be convenient but life is like that!
Also I think you should contact people even if you feel it is not "your turn" as it is so easy to lose touch through putting things off. At the moment we have a good circle of friends but that requires a bit of maintenance. When I was single for a few years I could see how easy it would be to "disappear".
Thank goodness for Gransnet!

Riverwalk Mon 07-Apr-14 15:18:46

I didn't see the programme gilly but it sounds a lovely idea.

It must be terrible to be lonely, as opposed to alone.

gillybob Mon 07-Apr-14 15:00:24

I simply had to bump this up as it is a subject that I feel very strongly about.

Did anyone see the One Show a week or two back where a group of young men befriended some much older very lonely gentlemen and took them to the pub for "a pint"? I thought it was an excellent idea and now the elderly men have "found each other" the idea is that they will meet up regularly. I would love to see such an idea extended.


gillybob Mon 07-Apr-14 10:43:42

I agree with when if we all lived closer to each other it would be ideal. Infact I could palm my grandma off onto someone to chat with spend more time doing my grandmas shopping and less time chatting. Which would kill two old birds with one stone. grin

Seriously though. I do find it very sad that people are lonely. I have to say some of the blame must lie with the family (where there is family of course) as they often take the attitude of "they will be fine" and don't give enough of their time. Greed is not just about money its about time too.

NanKate Mon 07-Apr-14 07:37:00

Fortunately DH and I are together and see our GSs regularly, usually to help with childcare but we do realise that as soon as the children are at school we won't be so involved with their lives so much.

I have a number of friends who are now widows and they seem to fall into two categories the ones who become depressed and life is a trial and the others who join in lots of things and make a new life for themselves.

One shining example has a sewing group at her house on a Saturday for those on their own, on a Sunday a similar group meets to chat and watch old movies. She is a member of the WI, U3A, and Keep Fit. She is 83!

However all this depends on health and an ability to get out and about.

Getting older is such a lottery.

NfkDumpling Mon 07-Apr-14 07:14:10

I'm glad this thread has been revived. I think the government is getting concerned about loneliness - and perhaps a relationship with the housing problem. Has anyone else noticed that the media is dropping hints? In the last couple of days there's been bits slid in on our regional news programme about downsizing, retirement villages and supported housing and now Jill Archer is moving in with Ruth and David.