Hungry Britain

Well said Granjura

Am I the only one who thinks that children eating breakfast at home with their families is preferable to eating it at school?
I think breakfast clubs must be wonderful if the parent(s) have to go out to work early, but I don't think they should be the ideal for everyone.
I'm sure if any government made breakfast a compulsory part of the school day we would all have something to say.

Elgran, the guy I mentioned may be ill, I don't have a problem with that but I don't see why his wife/partner etc needs to look after him when he can get around . If he was single he would have to manage therefore the wife can get a job, she can feed him in the morning and leave him a snack for lunch and feed him at night and do the housework when she comes in.
Carers often(not always I know) have an easy life, many just take the person to the shops or sit around all day watching tv and that is not a productive life, they should not have benefits for that. If the person is in A wheelchair/bedbound/on sticks etc then they would justify nursing them and getting paid for it.
There are many ways to avoid doing paid work in this country

janeainsworth, yes I agree, why do children from better off families need to have breakfast provided if their parents can feed them, I was not well off when my daughter was at school but I managed to feed her and would have created ructions had she been made to eat with the poor kids.
Its using money that could be used to feed the poor kids unnecessarily

No one suggested compulsory Breakfast Clubs did they?
But they ought to be available for all those that wish to use them. As Gill pointed out, it's good to have a social mix, and not all parents who work are well off.

Did you read my post, Cactus, about my husband and the fact that he used me as his walking stick. He could not get meals himself,as he was so slow at doing everything. How would I have felt if he had fallen over? He fell down stairs and had the bruises to prove it. I am sure many people thought I could have been out at work earning money instead of him claiming benefits.

I would rather be out at work and pay someone to look after a relative as Im not a nurse, that's all im saying. I see many people who are 'carers' doing nothing in the daytime, I think a carer should be busy giving medication, washing the patient, feeding etc to earn their money. I cant see that sitting home watching tv is helping a disabled person. I see lots of examples as in my job I visit people in their homes (no Im not working for social services). My husband died suddenly and we never got any benefit that he paid into the system. If he'd been ill for a long time I could not have nursed him though its just not my thing, I cant stand having to do personal things for people. Hope that answers your comments Durhamjen

I would rather be out at work and pay someone to look after a relative as Im not a nurse, that's all im saying. I see many people who are 'carers' doing nothing in the daytime, I think a carer should be busy giving medication, washing the patient, feeding etc to earn their money. I cant see that sitting home watching tv is helping a disabled person. I see lots of examples as in my job I visit people in their homes (no Im not working for social services). My husband died suddenly and we never got any benefit that he paid into the system. If he'd been ill for a long time I could not have nursed him though its just not my thing, I cant stand having to do personal things for people. Hope that answers your comments Durhamjen

You can't judge people on how you feel about caring, cactus. When my DH had a stroke which left him partially sighted I was still teaching two days a week. I hated leaving him to fend for himself and was mightily relieved when I could retire and look after him properly.

The three days when I was not teaching were NOT spent watching the telly I can assure you.

CACTUS DURHAM Has said that her husband can not even get his own diner, it doesn't sound to me like she is doing much watching TV and what a horrible life for her that she is having to be a carer, not a nice job that anyone would choose, I think she should be admired.

Fair enough you could not do it and would rather pay someone, I would probably do a bit of both but it takes all kinds to make a world.

Polarisation again - labelling other viewpoints as either "blanket compassion" or as "blanket lack of compassion".

No-one is going to have their mind changed. The harder some posters inveigh against benefit scroungers the further other heels dig in to say most are not scrounging. And vice versa.

Any more posts are a waste of time.

Goodnight.

Thanks, Carnationa. Actually, my husband died two years ago from a brain tumour, but you are new so would not know that. He was 65. From when he was 50 I was his carer, although I hated the word. He fractured his spine, then got cerebellar ataxia, then the brain tumour for the last four months.
I had other carers in for the last three weeks, Cactus, because I could not manage on my own any more. If I had had to have professional carers in for longer, it would have cost the state a lot more than we were given.
Yes, it was horrible having to change him when he was doubly incontinent, which he had been for 15 years, although for much of the time he did it himself. And I ran a guest house for ten of those, which paid enough to pay the mortgage.
I washed him and fed him, particularly during the last five years.
In the last six months I gave him injections and tested his blood four times a day. He'd been diabetic since he was eleven. In the final three weeks I gave him a third of a banana before he choked, and then had to test his blood and give him an injection to counteract the carbohydrate that he'd just had. I did it because I loved him and did not want him to be looked after by anyone else. And when he decided he had had enough, I lay beside him for three days and nights, waiting for him to say he wanted something to eat or drink. The only time I left his side was when the carers came in to change him and make him more comfortable.
Apologies to those who have heard this before on other threads, but some people need to know that everything is not what it appears. You cannot judge your neighbours by what you see, unless you know them very well.
My husband paid tax and NI from when he was 18 until he was 50. He still paid tax after that from insurance money. He had his state pension for six months.

If you do not wish to post Elegran that's fine but other GNetters would like to, me for one.

Goodnight hope you sleep well

Jen.

durhan your husband was a very lucky man, all that caring you did for him. I am not sure they make them like you anymore

www.childcomwales.org.uk/blog/

there is a paragraph in here, if the link works, about children going hungry in the school holidays when they don't get school meals. Now there may be all sorts of reasons for this, poverty, fecklessness or other reasons, but it makes for sad reading. I do know of young offenders who did not want to leave the institute because they did not know what was awaiting them at home and they got three meals a day inside the prison. They may well have got out and offended again just to be sent back because home life was so awful.
A downward spiral.

Thanks Dragonfly, and Carnationa. I'm not a saint, but I know a few people who are. That includes the carers who were paid the minimum wage to look after my husband when he could no longer get out of bed, and had no time allowed between patients and no mileage paid; the ones who dare not complain because they would be sacked, as there were plenty of people waiting for their jobs.
Having lived on benefits I do not criticise those who still have to unless I know their real circumstances. I know one person who probably plays the system, but I know quite a few more who do not have enough to live on.

I do not count the pension as being a benefit.My state pension is now nearly double what it was when my husband was alive, but I'd rather have him here to look after.

Life can be hard and people find themselves in bad situations.

All we can do is help as much as we can and try and make a difference

I have always said that if I win the lottery I would buy property for the homeless.

I'm sure there are many carers who spend every day in an endless round of practical and personal tasks which they willingly undertake for their loved ones but which exhaust, isolate and demoralise them. In my opinion, to imply that a significant number are sitting around watching TV is unjust. I also think that, for most people, the idea of having to rely solely on rubbishy TV programmes for their interest and entertainment would not be an attractive one. I can't think of anyone I know who would be satisfied with an existence where they are tied to the home and unable to get out and about without making complicated arrangements for the care of someone who is dependent on them.

I don't know what sort of work you do cactus to arrive at such conclusions, but you seem to have a very negative view of human beings.

aka
rosesarered said
"Children should always come first, and certainly be fed at school as much as possible. Breakfast club is a very good idea."

I just take the opposite view. I think children should eat with their families as much as possible. I think it's sad that because so many parents often have to work unsocial hours, eating together as a family is becoming an anachronism.
There is an expectation that businesses and services should be available 24/7 but someone has to work in them, and this is often detrimental to family life, IMHO.

We're in a ridiculous situation where some people are working so many hours that they see little of their children, whereas other people are unable to get a job. I think it is time for working hours to be reduced so that more people are employed and families have a better work/life balance.

Actually eloethan that is what happens in Norway, overtime hours have an annual limit, so rather than someone working 60 hours a week, that is 1.5 peoples job. Seems to work for them.

On reading your posts, Durhamjen, I take my hat off to you.What a super person you must be, to have had to deal with caring so much for the husband you loved.

What a polarised discussion this has become, despite the fact no posters seem to be disputing the fact that a small number of people exploit or fiddle the benefit system.

Cactus - your posts express a negative and critical view of people. You don't say what work you do that takes you into so many homes where you feel you are exposed to people exploiting the benefit system. I can still recall the small number of adults I came across who were determined to exact every penny they could from the benefit system. My conclusion is those people were exploiters, they'd exploit personal relationships in the same way they'd exploit any circumstance they found themselves in. Luckily, they were such a small minority that my faith in my fellow humans may have been battered occasionally, but remains alive and well.

I found the judgemental tone of some posts unpleasant. There are a number of threads on gransnet about the impact of depression or other mental health problems. I imagine that some gransnet followers have themselves had periods off work as a result of depression, stress or other 'invisible' illnesses. Some of us may even live on the dreaded "estates".

For those who are happy to criticise the "undeserving" poor, whilst supporting those who are 'deserving', maybe a read of Angela's Ashes would challenge the stereotypes, but probably not.

My full admiration to you jen your husband will have known how much you loved him what a special relationship you must have had together.