I feel so ashamed and angry with myself

Do people realise that this is a thread from 2014?

As others have said, you need to get legal advice. You can't be forced to sell your property to pay for her care home. She only had the right to live in the bungalow for as long as she needed to.

2014?
Really??

Soutra

Well, well, well. Fancy this thread being resurrected

Just that really.
Another one!

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Yes I am afraid the the £675 is reasonable

If some people have no-one to talk to, and need to get something out of their system, then a forum is a good place to do it. You would think.

You've certainly found your way round the forums very quickly.

Well, well, well. Fancy this thread being resurrected

Try Not To Feel Bad about how you Feel Frankie.
your only human remember and also no one's perfect.
I can relate to how you Feel but in a different way.
My Dad who is now elderly and spends his life in bed now due to poor health
and relies upon the daily help from carers and My Mum(Who Is also elderly and in poor physical health)
used to beat me very badly and it got so bad that I resorted to running away from home for days on end.
and when I would eventually go back home I would be beaten badly again for running away.
but sometimes my mum would prevent him for beating me
otherwise I feel he would have beaten me to death one day.
it was that bad.
for example once evening he came home from work and I had bunked school that day and so knew I would be beaten when he came home.
so There I was standing and trembling in the kitchen surrounded by my mum and two sisters.
and when my dad walked in my mum told him I had bunked school again and I remember my dad flying into a rage and picked up a lead with a plug on the end and whacked me on my forehead!
I screamed and fell onto the floor and just cried from the sheer pain and shock of it all.
by the following morning a Huge bruise had come up on my forehead and I remember worrying about how I would say to my mates when they saw it and asked me what happened?
another Time My Dad Attempted to strangle me!
I'm absolutely serious Frankie!
my dad Strangled Me and could have killed me if he had not realize the reality of what he was doing to me?
so now years on my relationship with my dad isn't good.
I still avoid talking to him.
and never say hello or goodbye and when I found my mum I never ask how is daddy?
as a child I was scared of my dad because he was such a bad tempered violent man.
and on the rare occasion that I go into his bedroom to give him his cup of tea
I avoid eye contact and never say hi at all.
I'm not proud of any of this but this is a result of years of mistreatment and it has damaged my relationship with my dad.
I accept that I was a naughty child cause i would bunk school and later run away from home but my dad didn't need to resort to beating as much and badly as he did.
so I can certainly understand why you feel as you do about Mildred frankie.
hopefully things will improve before she passes away.
Just as I hope I can repair to a certain extent the damage between my dad and me before he also dies.
best wishes to you.

Just to say that my father initially had left his house to myself and my brother with the proviso that mother would have it for as long as she needed it. After a few years he thought better of that and actually got the house transferred into the names of myself and my brother, the understanding being that it would always be there for mum.

My father died first and mum continued to live in the house for another 8 years at which time she needed full time care (alzeimers). She went into a care home at the end of the road where I lived.
The house remained as it was. I went to it every few weeks and cleaned the windows etc. The long time neighbours kept an eye on it for me.
Even though it belonged to us, and my mum would never ever be back to the house, it still didn't seem right to get rid of it.
Eventually mum passed on and we put the house on the market two weeks later.
There was a clear trust between my father and us that the house would always be there for mum.
This worked very well but it is based on trust and there is always a risk that it could be abused.

Frankie I have little to add to all the advice given except to say don`t beat yourself up about how you feel about Mildred and get some legal advice. I`m the wino on the forums

If you didn't expect an inheritance then you wouldn't be bitter if it didn't come your way. You didn't have to accept PoA. That sounds harsh but surely it isn't about the money but about making sure an old woman who has no one else is comfortable in her final days. You don't need to visit often just call up once in a while to check she is okay. The home will have your details so can call you if need be.

Nfk I'm sorry you had a bad experience with social services. I know the system can be awful. It feels awful from within as well, and as you say, is impossible to overcome

So glad it worked well for you kitty

My dad left my sister, brother and I his house with my stepmum having a life interest. 20 years later we have now inherited the house. No problems, though the solicitors charged an extortionate fee for doing nothing for 20 years.

Has anyone done this ( giving life interest in a property) looks interesting until you come to the capital gains tax. I think I will look into it further.

I'm sorry if I offended. I know there are lovely people working for Social Services. I even met one or two, but they were overruled by the system.

My Social Services experiences with both my parents were worse than horrible. As were those of my cousin in law and a close friend. I'm really pleased Kitty that you had supportive help with your mum and that the system can work.

(And £675 is very reasonable!)

Don't be too hard on yourself over this, Frankie. You have every reason to feel bitter.

There are also much dearer options, Hollydaze

Holly £675 seems reasonable to me

As others have said Frankie, specialist advice needs to be sought. It's such a shame that the house was sold but you may at least be able to salvage something once you are being guided by a professional.

I do think the amount of £675 per week is extortionate - surely there are cheaper options?

Huge generalisation Nfk.

The SW involved with mum's care has been brilliant, extremely helpful and one of the friendliest people I have ever met - in fact we still email one another occasionally even though mum is no longer in her area!

Thanks for that Nfk. Quite a few of us have spent our entire careers working in Social Services without turning into toads.

As for the OP, legal advice is clearly needed. The rules of inheritance are so complex that only someone with legal training can advise.

Social Services are toads. They are very good at implying responsibility where there is none. I've known several people now who've lost their inheritance on SS say so.