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Present for a Renewal of Vows?

(17 Posts)
kittylester Fri 20-Jun-14 17:45:17

I know we've had a thread on the subject of Vow Renewals but I don't think this came up!

A friend and her DH are about to celebrate their 30th wedding anniversary and we are invited to the church and the 'do' after.

Do we buy a present and if so what?

I think Renewal of Vows are slightly strange, as does our friend, but her husband is insistent confused and has, up to now invited 70 (!!!) people.

Their wedding was very entertaining as the ushers had to forcibly remove the best man from the room as he couldn't stand up to manage his speech. Quite [embarrassing] as the Groom's father was a Bishop!

rosesarered Fri 20-Jun-14 17:49:48

I agree kitty I think it's a strange thing to do. However, we attended a friends 'do' a couple of years ago and took a lovely double white orchid and a card with something suitable scribbled in it. They seemed pleased.After all, they are our age and don't lack anything much!

GillT57 Fri 20-Jun-14 18:41:44

If you know the other guests, what about a joint gift of a luxury weekend away in a hotel?

rubysong Fri 20-Jun-14 18:47:01

Our marriage vows don't need renewing as they haven't expired!

lisianthus Fri 20-Jun-14 18:58:48

We have people ask to come to church for renewal of wedding vows and I think it a bit odd...what I do think is nice (if you feel the need to do anything) is a reaffirming of vows...

RAF Fri 20-Jun-14 18:58:56

We had a celebration service for our 40 years in our cathedral, with tea in the town hall afterwards and a meal in a restaurant in the evening (for which everyone paid for their own meal) We didn't renew our vows (as we hadn't broken them!) but we did ask our friends and family to promise to support us in the years to come.

We didn't expect any gifts, just wanted to share the day with friends, but we got five Ruby Wedding roses, they do pearl ones We also had some lovely vases and quite a few bottles of champagne!

goldengirl Fri 20-Jun-14 19:35:09

A donation to a charity?

To be honest I can't see the point of renewing vows except as a good excuse for a knees up. And it sounds expensive

suebailey1 Sat 21-Jun-14 08:52:09

I agree with goldengirl - these things seem odd to me and my worst nightmare - when I want to scare DH I tell him I'm planning ours. His response is always the same - I haven't worn my vows out yet have you?
I wouldn't buy them a present.

Soutra Sat 21-Jun-14 09:05:31

If anything other than a card - a donation to a charity of their choice. I think it is just an excuse for a rather grand party and have no argument with it as such.

Greenfinch Sat 21-Jun-14 09:15:39

Exactly ! rubysong and others who have said the same thing. grin A celebration party is all that is needed (if you must ! ) or maybe a service of thanksgiving if one exists.

rosesarered Sat 21-Jun-14 09:43:19

I must just add, that I was pleased we had taken something because everybody else gave a present of some kind.It only cost us £10 , and they are friends! I really think, if you have to attend one of these things,it's better not to go empty handed. If you are invited somewhere for a meal with friends, you often take flowers or wine or chocs so this is really no different.

Paula8 Sat 21-Jun-14 10:07:12

Kittylister why was it more embarassing because his dad was a churchman, no man is perfect not even churchmen.

People get drunk all the time especially at weddings. smile

You say renewal of vows is strange..why so?

I know my post asks alot of questions but forgive me for saying that your post came over as a bit judgemental and being judgemental is my pet hatesmile

Paula8 Sat 21-Jun-14 10:10:11

KITTY You asked about a present for the couple--If it were me I would try and buy them something associated with were or how they me. smile

Paula8 Sat 21-Jun-14 10:10:50

met sorry I meant to say were they metsmile

ginny Sat 21-Jun-14 10:47:21

I think I would go for a card and a charity gift. Something like a tree planted in their name, 'Woodland Trust.

Have to agree with Rubysong though. If it ain't broke, why fix it ?

Paula8 Sat 21-Jun-14 10:50:56

I dont think its about fixing it, more celebrating itsmile nice happy memories can be made

kittylester Sat 21-Jun-14 10:56:52

Thank you all for your replies. DH and I have a summer party in the garden when we have a significant anniversary to celebrate but we don't tell the guests what the party is for so there is no obligation to bring presents!

Being judgmental is one of my pet hates too Paula. Having an opinion on something is a different matter. And, the Bishop was very po-faced and judgmental - which is what made it embarrassing.