Thank you all for your replies. DH and I have a summer party in the garden when we have a significant anniversary to celebrate but we don't tell the guests what the party is for so there is no obligation to bring presents!
Being judgmental is one of my pet hates too Paula. Having an opinion on something is a different matter. And, the Bishop was very po-faced and judgmental - which is what made it embarrassing.
Soop's warm and welcoming kitchen for kindly folk.