Would you let your 19yr old daughter share a double bed with her boyfriend?

I did all that too, with both of them. It does seem to have made my son very cautious indeed! He said he doesn't want a girlfriend until he can afford to take one out properly. Whatever 'properly' is.

I can't believe anyone is still posting this question. Surely it is 2014? My children are in their forties and were both allowed to share their bedrooms with partners brought home from uni. You need to make them feel welcome in your home. If they can't share a bedroom they will be less inclined to visit you. In any case, why pretend they aren't having sex when they are away from home?
When my son was in the 6 th form we allowed his girlfriend to share his room. I would rather they had sex in our house than in a doorway or in the park. Interestingly, her parents agreed to them doing this and often left them alone in their house, but would not let them actually share a bedroom at their house or when they went on holiday with them!
I should add that I did discuss contraception with both of my children. I think it is vital that boys realise what could be the consequences of fathering a child. It isn't a situation you walk away from whether or not the girl decides to continue with the pregnancy. I explained how a pregnancy could affect the girl's life as well as his. I asked him how he would feel if a baby of his was aborted and also how he would feel if his child was being brought up by someone else? Definitely a passion killer.

Gramps As a widow of 11 years I really do empathise.

gramps I'm very sorry to hear about your wife, you must miss her so much.
Your granddaughter sounds like a lovely girl.

Gramps you must be a very special Grandad, to inspire such love and trust as you have from your Grandaughter. I hope all three of you enjoy the holiday together. to you and your wonderful Grandaughter. Xx

Gramps - very sad that the time had come for your wife to go. I'm not much younger than you and am avoiding thinking about the possibilty of either of us being alone.
As I've avoided this thread, because I really don't know what I'd do. The situation never cropped up with our children TG.
But your grand - daughter sounds like a lovely person, so in your situation I would definitely say - OK.

But I assume this situation would not cause discomfort if the couple were married?

Why? What actual difference would it make, to have a contract between them? Their actions would be the same.

We would feel uncomfortable with the situation, in our home. Being realistic, the youngsters do share a bed anyway, but neither our daughter nor sons would have made this suggestion. Nor would we in our parent's home. But times move on.

She sounds very lovely and sensible Gramps, and just what you need. I hope their holiday with you isn't too long away.

Thanks everyone for your message of sympathy and for the flowers.
My granddaughter came as my carer when our Parkinson group had a day out to Eastbourne. She is good fun and we had good time.
She is going to college next year to study child welfare/ childcare.
She is both a diabetic and coeliac problems, and copes very well. Her boyfriend always carry some sweets etc. in case of need.
They are both looking forward to the holidays when they will be staying with me for a few days, sharing a bedroom!
They help me feel younger!

So sorry, gramps. Have the young ones to stay, they will bring life into the house.

Kitty

gramps (((hugs)))

gramps, so sorry to hear about your wife.

Ethel - she has dementia and is (in)famous for her outrageous pronouncements!

Sorry to hear about your wife gramps. - glad that you have loving family around. Do not worry about your GD - it sounds as though she has found herself a good man - leave them to their cuddles!

I would just laugh in her face kitty, everyone will know shes making a fool of herself.

gramps

I've said on another thread that my mother is threatening to tell the vicar (at DN's forthcoming wedding) that DN shouldn't be wearing white as she's already had sex

yes, this is my granddaughter and I love her and her boyfriend who is very considerate and worships the ground she walks on.
I've been watching this debate with interest.as has been said, this is a different world to what it was 1950! I met my future wife in 1952 and have been together ever since until January this year ,
. She was taken ill and spent four months in hospital before losing the battle she never came home again and died and the day after my 82nd birthday.

As is the case with a lot of us, I wish I knew as much then as I to do now!!

thank you for a very interesting debate.

Gramps

I guess we all have to move with the times.

I think much of the problem years ago was not so much what the parents thought. It was the worry about what the neighbours might think - and say.

My mother would have been appalled if she had known I was sleeping with my fiance. I remember the doctor coming when I had flu and hissing "Does your mother know you're on the pill?" When I hissed back "No" it wasn't mentioned in front of her and I was 23!

Fast forward 25 years and she didn't turn a hair when she found us buying a double bed for our 20year old daughter to share with her boyfriend. How unfair is that! Of course she was always very fond of the boyfriend

My children would never ask or expect to share a bed with an unmarried partner in my house. Out of respect for me they wouldn't want to put me in a situation where out of respect for them I might say yes!

I have just had my 20 and a half year old Californian granddaughter and her 24 year old boyfriend stay with us. they have been together for 3 years.
I thought about the sleeping arrangements and so decided to e-mail her and ask which bedroom she/they would like. I must add that my DH told me not to be so daft, this is the 21st century and ofcourse they would want to share!!!!
GDD answered the one with the double bed, so I avoided any unnecessary embarrassment when they arrived about who sleeps where.
They stayed for a week and are now of on their European.
Our three never had that choice I was rather strict, to put it mildly, but I have learned :-)