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Grandson visiting for Christmas

(148 Posts)
new2me Fri 07-Nov-14 15:13:00

Help, please. We have our baby Grandson visiting for Christmas with his Mummy and Daddy and they are bringing their dog, our Grandson has just started crawling. We also have my daughter and her boyfriend and their dog staying for Christmas. We also have a dog!!!
I am so excited about the thought of us all spending time together but very nervous about having 3 doggies and a baby crawling. I have said that the Lounge room should be "DOG FREE" at least whilst our Grandson is in there I don't want it to spoil Christmas, my husband is even more concerned as our dog/daughters dog are not use to babies or small children. Our Grandson lives at the other end of the Country from us, so want to make it special.
Any tips would be so very much appreciated.
Thank you

soontobe Fri 07-Nov-14 21:38:36

Can the baby and her parents and dog stay with a nearby relative. And the dog stay there while they visit you for most of the day?
That way it all might be a bit more do-able?

Mishap Sat 08-Nov-14 11:16:58

Baby comes first - stick the visiting dogs on kennels.

Only my mad sis-i-l has ever tried to stay here with a dog - all my other friends would not even consider asking.

Tegan Sat 08-Nov-14 11:31:21

Are the dogs crate trained?

KatyK Sat 08-Nov-14 12:26:34

I wouldn't like anyone staying here with a dog. I am not a dog person. I don't like to see any animal ill-treated and I can see why some people have them for company etc. but I am not a dog lover. I can't think of anything worse than having three dogs in the house any time, never mind Christmas. I don't think babies and dogs go together at all. Each to their own. I have only ever had bad experiences with dogs, recently a very narrow escape with a Staffordshire Bull Terrier.

granjura Sat 08-Nov-14 13:05:27

I love dogs- but I feel with a toddler crawling it is just too risky. If your dog and daughter's dog are not used to children and a crowd- just put them in kennels for the duration. Just not worth taking the risk and it will make your Christmas much more peaceful. As said, I say this as a huge dog lover. if any of the dogs would go for said toodler- you would have to put them dog- just too risky.

harrigran Sat 08-Nov-14 13:11:30

Got to agree with those who are not dog lovers. Thoughts of a crawling baby and a dog in the same room is just a big no-no and three dogs in the same house, no way.

Iam64 Sat 08-Nov-14 13:36:54

I do hope new2me doesn't feel judged and found wanting by the strength of anti dog feeling expressed by so many on this thread. As KatyK said earlier, 'each to their own'.

Agus Sat 08-Nov-14 13:41:28

I have always had dogs but there are too many what ifs in this scenario. And no matter how well our dogs are trained, they can still be unpredictable. Put three together and they will instinctively form a pack. I wouldn't do it.

rosequartz Sat 08-Nov-14 13:43:52

I am a dog lover but would not be happy about having three dogs in my house over Christmas especially with a crawling baby around. We have had our share of visitors who think the dog should come too - they're part of the family and it's Christmas! However, any dog but your own can be a complete pain in your house, especially with all the excitement over the festive season. Not to mention the nervousness in case they decide to fight or worse.

Perhaps kennels in the garden if they will insist on bringing them?

granjura Sat 08-Nov-14 14:00:06

Iam64- several of us are concerned- as experienced dog lovers- about 3 dogs and a toddler- because we are dog lovers. No criticisim there at all from me, that is for sure. My advice is to protect the toddler- but also the dog. If he does 'lose' it and have to be put down- it is definitely not in the dog's interest, is it?

nightowl Sat 08-Nov-14 14:06:35

I think a lot has to depend on the breed (size) of the dogs, how well trained they are, and how used to being with other dogs. I agree with others that there needs to be discussion and agreement beforehand about how three dogs that are not familiar with one another can be managed safely with a baby in the house. Their owners need to be completely honest about their dog's behaviour for this to work. I also agree that the main living area should be a dog free zone for the baby's sake, and it goes without saying that vigilance is essential at all times. If there are any doubts then kennels will have to be considered.

I don't agree that the scenario is a definite no-no but it will need a lot of thought. If this baby is to be brought up with dogs all these issues will need to be worked out anyway, sooner rather than later. These animals are not tigers, they are not even wolves (and there has been a lot of misunderstanding in the past about wolf behaviour due to faulty research) - they are dogs and dogs have lived safely with humans of all ages since time immemorial. It's up to the humans to show the way.

soontobe Sat 08-Nov-14 14:16:17

The poster asked for help.
Posters are helping her as afr as I can see.
Cant see the problem.
Most of the help is coming from people who have dogs and love dogs?

whenim64 Sat 08-Nov-14 15:24:21

A lot of assumptions are made about dogs harming children based on the incidents that get in the papers. Dogs not trained, kept in neglectful conditions, ignored for the most part or conditioned to act aggressively or unpredictably. If only the papers would highlight dogs that live in harmony with families and each other. A fine example is the dog rescue organisation that also offers daycare for 40 dogs each day, where my dog goes twice a week. The dogs are assessed for aggression and nervousness, watched as they play and socialise, and well trained. No incidents in five years. In the last year, the two owners have brought rescue dogs into their farmhouse and six or seven at a time live in until they're rehomed. No incidents and just over a hundred dogs rehomed from there in the last year. My grandchildren have been introduced to groups of dogs as they have started to see the fun they can have with each other, under supervision. They have visited the rescue and daycare dogs, too, and been safe and happy - they learn the rules and so do the dogs.

Please don't judge dog behaviour by what is known of ill-trained dogs. Family dogs that are known, treated with affection and discipline, and taught good manners, and not allowed to show aggression, are good companions. Plenty of people have regular family get togethers with their beloved dogs and young children, with no adverse effects.

new2me your nervousness would be enough to put me off bringing my dog along. Knowing how to behave with dogs and what expectations you can have of a small group of dogs is important. The dogs look to you for guidance and what they're allowed to do, or not. People who don't feel confident about groups of dogs together can misinterpret what they're doing if they go to slurp an available arm or leg, or think a piece of food being waved around is for them.

Iam64 I know our dogs would get along just fine with each other and with young children because the effort has been put into showing them the way. Sadly, some dog owners don't train their dogs properly and then they make judgements about everyone else's dog! sad

soontobe Sat 08-Nov-14 15:37:22

You seem to know your stuff.

Are you saying that the posters on here who think that the situation may be a bit of a problem, all dont train their dogs properly?

And that if new2me wasnt nervous, the situation at christmas would be fine in her household?
Or are you saying that new2me is nervous becuase she may not train her dog properly?

Ana Sat 08-Nov-14 15:51:31

I was wondering when the dog-lovers who think dogs never attack children if they've been properly trained would bite back!

If new2me is going to be on tenterhooks throughout the visit, surely it isn't worth just hoping for the best...

Nonu Sat 08-Nov-14 15:53:53

ANA
grin

Tegan Sat 08-Nov-14 15:59:26

Strange how attitudes have changed over the past few years. If I look at photos of my children when they were young there would at least one dog and a cat with them. And yet now I wouldn't dream of allowing my dog in the same room as the grandchildren. I now look back in total embarrassment at the way I always took both of my spaniels to stay with my in laws at Christmas and yet, at the time it wasn't a problem [at least they never said anything to the contrary]. I watched in absolute horror something on utube a while back showing Malemutes with children, and yet, when I looked up the breed it said how good they are with children. What has changed over the years? I feel very uncomfortable these days at the thought of dogs and children together and yet, as nightowl has pointed out, we have co habited for centuries.

jinglbellsfrocks Sat 08-Nov-14 16:02:12

I suppose it's because we have news on television these days, and get to hear of the occasions when it goes horribly wrong.

Tegan Sat 08-Nov-14 16:08:38

And people often go for fashionable dogs rather than dogs that are suitable family pets perhaps.

soontobe Sat 08-Nov-14 16:19:34

whenim64. Do you know Iam64?
I cant see how anyone can guarantee anyone else's dog.



As other posters with dogs have said, reading from behind our computer screens, it sounds a bit overwhelming.

soontobe Sat 08-Nov-14 16:20:49

My last sentence should have..it sounds a bit overwhelming for the op.

Deedaa Sat 08-Nov-14 16:42:49

Tegan when I was a child Staffies were renowned as wonderful family dogs who loved children - now everyone recoils at the name! The only thing that has changed is the way -and the reason -the dogs are kept.

Of course training makes a difference. We took over a very well trained Border Collie from a friend. He wasn't keen on being messed about by small children and if our two got too annoying he would curl his lip very slightly and we knew it was time to remove them. as regards the OP I think a family conference is called for with a thorough discussion of how the holiday could be managed. If it looks as if the dogs will get on then a dog free living room and a baby gate seems a good idea.

Iam64 Sat 08-Nov-14 16:55:05

In response to soontobe's question - I'm with whenim 64, I bet our dogs would get on well. We seem to have taken a similar approach to sharing our lives with dogs and ensuring the children in the family behave appropriately around them.

Tegan you mention Malemutes, I haven't seen the video you mention, but that wouldn't be a breed I'd choose to share family life. When at the vet's with one of my dogs recently, he commented on what a gentle girl she is, so easy for him to handle. He was doing something unpleasant to the poor lass, as he so often has been in the last couple of years. His comment led to a discussion about dog breeds, and he mentioned Malemutes specifically as dogs he's wary of. He referred to the breed information you mention, which says these dogs are good with children. He has dogs and children, but said he wouldn't want a Malemute in his home. He's treated a number of them, as they're in the category of dogs that are fashionable/popular right now. He doesn't look forward to them being in the surgery.

soontobe Sat 08-Nov-14 17:13:38

and ensuring the children in the family behave appropriately around them.

The op's child is 8 months, so that cant happen in this case.

Deedaa
My knowledge of dogs is not so comprehensive as some.
I didnt realise that dog breeds can alter general temperament over time.
Would that be becuse there are a limited number of breeders for some breeds?

goldengirl Sat 08-Nov-14 17:15:51

For me this post appears to be about a crawling baby + 3 dogs who've not met each other before + all the stress and busyness of Christmas. It's the combination that is the issue in my view. At any other time with fewer distractions the reaction of dogs and baby could be dealt with more easily - perhaps.