Hi please help

Are you a new member tonia54 ?

thank you J52 your kind supportive words are very appreciated

thank you

I don't know, but then no-one on here can really advise you on the details of how to cope with this. Several people have advised you to go the the CAB. They are trained to find the right information and to give you contacts who can take it further. They are the ones to ask.

Elegran I so agree with your post about my husband moving in with them!! what do you think would happen if I did call the police, would they evict him?

they all moved in together then she moved out with baby to her mothers due to the arguing, I did say that right at the beginning WHY would I exaggerate?

Move his wife back in? I thought she was there, encouraging mice?

Not sure your story quite holds water, tonia54 Are you sure you are not exaggerating?

do you think if I give him a time scale to move out that would work??

he is in between jobs and no one is allowed to speak to him about it, he just says I will do things in my own time!!

Having read your answers to other people's questions and suggestions I can only say - give him written notice of a week to find other accommodation and get out. Keep a copy of the letter. If he won't leave, call the police.

If he could pay rent for his previous place, he can pay rent somewhere else, like everyone else in the world. You do not need a scrounging bully. If your husband is happy to live with him and to give him £50 a week, then he can go and live with them in their new home.

Elegran daughter in law is very lazy and un tidy, we have been mouse free for a year, since they have moved in we have seen a mouse, my absolute nightmare, he does not contribute to bills house cleaning or anything at all, so frustrating, I am seriosly considering the CAB it sounds like a bot of a life line for me

my husband is so laid back!! he just burries his head and hopes its all going to go away I have no support from him, its awful, I am alone completly, If I go away I still ahve to come back to it wont I, and in the time I am away goodness knows what he will do, move his wife back in!!

Ask yourself these questions, honestly:-

Is he working? If so he does not need money from his father. Tell his father so. If not, is he getting benefits? Do they include something to support his wife and child? If not, why not?

Does he contribute to the household expenses? If not, why not? As a husband and father, he should be supporting his family, not expecting his parents to support them.

Does he do anything around the house - shopping, cooking, washing-up, cleaning, gardening? If not, why not? If he thinks it is his house too, then he has reponsibilities in that house. equality works both ways, if he is not equal when it comes to the work, he is not equal in it being his house.

Does your daughter-in-law contribute to the running of the house, financially or with the housework and cooking?

Do they appear to be grateful that you have taken them in and that they are getting £50 a week for doing damn-all, like overgrown schoolchildren ?

When you have answered the questions, and discussed the result with your husband, think hard about what YOU want to happen here, ignoring the fact that it is your son. Do you want to share your house with another family and partly (or completely) support them? Be honest.

If you decide you do not, go to the Citizens Advice Bureau and tell them your story. Ask what their chances are of a local authority house. Ask what your position is in law. Ask how you should go about getting them to leave.

Send you son to the citizens Advice Bureau too, separately. He should ask their advice on what would happen to him and his wife and child should they be homeless, and how long it would take to be rehoused.

If he gives you verbal or physical abuse, do not hesitate to call the police.

Hi, just read your last post. Is there some way you can protect yourself from this awful situation? Can you have a couple of days break with a friend or relative? So you can think calmly away from the house?
Why does your husband not see the problem?

To be really honest Jingle I don't feel much love for him right now-I have tried to speak to him Jingle but it always ends the same with him saying he is not going to move out

To be really honest jinglebellfrocks, I dont feel much love for him right now, I have tried talking to him but it always ends up with him saying I am staying and not moving out so do not see the point in speaking to hime anymore

no ground rules no one speaking to eachother, my husband and I have had a terrible row, I was trying to talk to him about the situation and he did not want to speak about it, I became quite frustarted and he told me to shut up and give people a break, so now I am rowing with him too!! feel quite awful and alone

What a dreadful situation. Does your son have a job? I would remove him from the insurance for the car, so he cannot legally drive it.
Muster up some strength, this is bullying. Set some ground rules. If you cannot then enlist some legal support and remove him. I know this sounds harsh, but it is 'tough love' . Otherwise you will be put upon for ever.
I'm sure faced with eviction from your home he will quickly find other private rented accommodation.
My best wishes and good luck, but news the time to get tough. X

But he's your son! Can't you talk to him? Do you love him? Do you get any happiness from having your grandchild with you? Is it really all bad.

You say he says it's his house too. Is it? Is his name on the deeds / tenancy agreement? If not he surely has no rights, apart from you having said he could stay for a couple of months.

I don't know how the law is now but it used to be that if they have their own room as far as the council are concerned they are adequately housed so won't get on the housing list. You and your DH would have to give them notice to quit - and mean it.

I agree CAB is probably your best bet. They can tell you the law as it stands now and what the council attitude is in your area. That at least will give you ammunition in an argument. In the meantime for everyone's sanity can you work out ground rules to suit you all?

she does want to be there, everything is scot free! she has a big family and is used to being in a crowded house, besides she just does as she is told by my son really, he rules the roost and he is trying to do that in my home but I won't let him and ths when the rows begin, but HOW can I get him to move out, what can I say to him to make him want to leave, there must be something, please help thank you

tonia54 what is your Dil contributing in this fiasco? Is it +ve/-ve? Keep a calm heart as already suggested. Contact CAB asap. Pop into your local police station and have a word. It's amazing the advice they can give you. Write a plan of action. Attack from several sides.

He certainly is an ingrate. Jane so much he takes £50 from his Dad every week even though he does not need it, just such a mes we have found ourselves in feel trapped and the worse for me is I feel I have no control!!

I doubt if she wants to be there, women like their own homes, but how many people have space in their home to take in another family?

How do you get on with your dil? Can you get her on your side a bit? Obviously you can't throw them out while they have nowhere to go, but you all need to live peaceably together. It's going to take a big effort, probably mostly on your part. Don't let your son walk all over you, but try to avoid rows. And perhaps if you help out with the baby and chat to your dil, you can work things out. Perhaps you two women can start to enjoy each other's company. (sort of, gang up on the blokes)