Jokes for grandchildren.

Look on line for Christmas cracker jokes. I think they would appeal to this age group, the sillier the better. The 4 year old might not always 'get' them though.
For example: Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle.

Thks shysal. I like the snowman joke - they will both get that one. I heard one on Neighbours which they might understand, although it would need some explanation about the weather.

In Australia they call Frosty the Snowman - Melty the Snowman.

A classic that is indelibly etched in my brain from those days:

"What's round, green and hairy and goes up and down?"

A gooseberry in a lift.

And all related jokes of that ilk.

(In fact, I remember my father dissolving in uncontrollable fits at that gooseberry one. It might have been the way an 8-year-old told it)

What to do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangeroo?

A woolly jumper.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

How do you make a band stand?

Take away their chairs.

Why did the cow go to the cinema?

Because it wanted to see a movie.

What do you call a man with a tree on his head?

Edward.

What do you call a man with a spade?

Doug.

Which chair does a gorilla sit on?

Any one he likes.

How many elephants can you fit in a mini?

Five.Two in the front. Two in the back and one in the boot.

Twinkle, twinkle chocolate bar.
My dad's bought a brand new car.

What do you get if you cross a zebra with a sheep?

A stripey jumper.

I have seen a man eating fish. (A man eating a fish)
I have seen a sparrow swallow a horse and cart. (A sparrow, a swallow and a horse and cart)

Thank you for the heads up, but I came across this thread mentioning the gooseberry in a lift joke, by accident; I know the inventor of the joke, and was there when it was made up in 1965, so I'm very pleased to hear it gave pleasure to people. How astonishing to read that it's still going round.

Q: What do you call a man lying on your doorstep?
A: Matt.
Q: What do you call a gorilla with bananas in its ears?. Anything you like, he can’t hear you.

mulberry7 in France it’s known as the petit pois joke.

knock knock jokes still do the rounds.
Knock knock.
who's there?
dishwasher
Dishwasher who?
dishwasher way I used to speak before I got my new teeth

Please don't encourage children to tell jokes with a punchline of a child's name. There are lots of young Edwards and Matts about.
(One in our family suffered from having a name that lent itself to name-calling)

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter. ?

How can you tell if there’s an elephant in your fridge?

You can’t shut the door.

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick ( master oops always said a twig, time after time…..he thought it was hilarious)

What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?

A woolly jumper.

What’s yellow and highly dangerous?

Shark infested custard.

What do you call a man with a rabbit on his head?

Warren

Why can’t you see elephants in trees?

Because they are really good at hiding

What does an elephant do if it’s stuck up a tree?

It stands on a leaf and waits til Autumn.

Did you hear about the magic tractor? It turned into a field!

There was a fork in the road, it turned into a cul-de-sac!

Oopsadaisy1

What do you call a man with a rabbit on his head?

Warren

What do you call a man with a plank of wood on his head?

Ed Wood

What do you call a man with two planks of wood on his head?

Edward Wood

What do you call a man with three planks of wood on his head?

Edward Woodward

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.

My kids used to love the Dr Zeuss joke book, I used to know them all but can only remember:

Why do birds fly south?
Because it is too far to walk.

Where does a bee wee? At the BP station ??

My daughter also used love cheese jokes, among which

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese

Did you hear about the explosion at the cheese factory?

All that we left was debris

What did the cheese say to annoy the bear?

Camembert

What did the cheese say when he saw himself in the mirror?

Halloumi

Oh gosh, I think I’d turn to Alexa for help, doubt if mine know what a gooseberry is.
Wicked Uncle website has some great jokes for youngsters:
How do you make toast in the jungle?
Put it under a Grilla.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the sea?

Bob.

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Well, it isn’t Bob………

Petera ?

What’s black and white and goes up and down in a lift?

A penguin

( or, said as we walked past the Convent School)

A Nun.

I've just noticed this thread is over seven years old!