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Jokes for grandchildren.

(36 Posts)
Chardy Thu 24-Mar-22 08:23:14

Please don't encourage children to tell jokes with a punchline of a child's name. There are lots of young Edwards and Matts about.
(One in our family suffered from having a name that lent itself to name-calling)

Grammaretto Wed 23-Mar-22 23:56:43

knock knock jokes still do the rounds.
Knock knock.
who's there?
dishwasher
Dishwasher who?
dishwasher way I used to speak before I got my new teeth

mokryna Wed 23-Mar-22 23:49:35

mulberry7 in France it’s known as the petit pois joke.

Chewbacca Wed 23-Mar-22 23:49:25

Q: What do you call a man lying on your doorstep?
A: Matt.
Q: What do you call a gorilla with bananas in its ears?. Anything you like, he can’t hear you.

mulberry7 Wed 23-Mar-22 23:41:21

Thank you for the heads up, but I came across this thread mentioning the gooseberry in a lift joke, by accident; I know the inventor of the joke, and was there when it was made up smile in 1965, so I'm very pleased to hear it gave pleasure to people. How astonishing to read that it's still going round.

rubysong Tue 20-Jan-15 12:06:02

I have seen a man eating fish. (A man eating a fish)
I have seen a sparrow swallow a horse and cart. (A sparrow, a swallow and a horse and cart)

vampirequeen Tue 20-Jan-15 11:30:21

What to do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangeroo?

A woolly jumper.

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A cloud.

How do you make a band stand?

Take away their chairs.

Why did the cow go to the cinema?

Because it wanted to see a movie.

What do you call a man with a tree on his head?

Edward.

What do you call a man with a spade?

Doug.

Which chair does a gorilla sit on?

Any one he likes.

How many elephants can you fit in a mini?

Five.Two in the front. Two in the back and one in the boot.

Twinkle, twinkle chocolate bar.
My dad's bought a brand new car.

What do you get if you cross a zebra with a sheep?

A stripey jumper.

JackyB Tue 20-Jan-15 11:27:37

A classic that is indelibly etched in my brain from those days:

"What's round, green and hairy and goes up and down?"

A gooseberry in a lift.

And all related jokes of that ilk.

(In fact, I remember my father dissolving in uncontrollable fits at that gooseberry one. It might have been the way an 8-year-old told it)

Falconbird Tue 20-Jan-15 10:33:47

Thks shysal. I like the snowman joke - they will both get that one. I heard one on Neighbours which they might understand, although it would need some explanation about the weather.

In Australia they call Frosty the Snowman - Melty the Snowman.

shysal Tue 20-Jan-15 09:04:32

Look on line for Christmas cracker jokes. I think they would appeal to this age group, the sillier the better. The 4 year old might not always 'get' them though.
For example: Q. What do you call a snowman in the summer?
A. A puddle.

Falconbird Tue 20-Jan-15 07:16:24

Does anyone know any jokes suitable for a 7 year old and a 4 year old.