I agree, absent, and I don't think you're being crochety, just straightforward and not nosy about details that don't really matter. We don't actually need to know if a woman is a child's mother or aunt or sister or grandmother most of the time. We don't actually need to know if a man is a child's father or uncle or brother or grandfather most of the time. So long as family and close friends know who's who, the rest of us just need to make polite conversation and if, in time, we get to know the people concerned well enough to understand all their relationships, that's a bonus.
My mum always wanted to know at parties she'd been invited to who was 'with' whom and whether they were married or, tut tut, only shacking up together. I was a source of grave disappointment to her in not being nosy enough about other people's business because I didn't give a damn.
Why do you all give a damn? If you don't give a damn you don't make assumptions that might cause you to put your foot in it.
Pass the crochety straightforwardness badge over here, absent.