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I can't always be sure if it's a mum or a grandmother.

(47 Posts)
Anya Fri 06-Feb-15 14:18:42

In these days of elderly primigravida I'm finding it harder and harder to tell if I'm talking to a young looking granny or a older mother. I very nearly put my foot in it earlier today by assuming a mum was grandma.

Is it just me? Or should I get myself to Spec Savers? confused

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 06-Feb-15 14:22:09

grin There's no answer to that. Just keep your fingers crossed? Or your mouth shut. grin

NanKate Fri 06-Feb-15 14:23:12

We had the same problem this morning when there was a couple outside the cafe we were in, they could have been husband and wife or father and daughter.

There is no problem identifying us as Nanny and Grandad. hmm

annsixty Fri 06-Feb-15 14:48:52

My very good friend is a GG, she is younger than me and her GGC are 10 +6,mind she would never be seen as a mum. My youngest GC are 5+3 and on most days I COULD be taken for a GG

PRINTMISS Fri 06-Feb-15 15:12:38

When I was doing a little printing display at Amberley Museum for a little girl I was chatting away to her, and said is that your Grand dad with you, no came the answer that's my daddy! oops.

rosequartz Fri 06-Feb-15 15:13:47

Well, you wouldn't have a problem with me Anya grin

I used to work with someone two years older than me whose granddaughter is the same age as my youngest DC.

If I see a ?grandma/mum? with a young child I usually err on the side of caution. Better to be told proudly 'Oh, I'm Grandma' and then you can say 'Oh, I didn't realise, you look too young' than the other way round!

rosequartz Fri 06-Feb-15 15:14:19

ps I was an elderly primagravida at 28!

annsixty Fri 06-Feb-15 15:37:05

So was I rose A neighbour's daughter who is 44 and in "a new relationship" is trying to get pregnant to "complete her family".Firstly I wouldn't be doing it and secondly I wouldn't be telling folk. However that it is enough of my personal opinion for today!!

rosequartz Fri 06-Feb-15 15:49:11

It's the thought of coping with a truculent teenager when you're in your 60s. It was bad enough in my 50s!

mcem Fri 06-Feb-15 16:07:48

I found my 2yearold quite hard going as I turned 40!

Quite recently my Gd was quick to correct someone who referred to me as her mum. Must say I thought it was more ingratiating than flattering!

Perhaps I'm cynical (or unduly modest?.)

GillT57 Fri 06-Feb-15 16:10:54

I had DD when I was 40 hopefully nobody thought I was her grandmother. I know someone who had a child at 40 and also had a grandchild of 7! Talk about extremes. grin

KatyK Fri 06-Feb-15 16:26:32

I had my daughter when I was 20 and my DGD was born when I was 50. I have occasionally been referred to as DGD's mum but have assumed they are either being patronising or should have gone to Specsavers. grin

rosequartz Fri 06-Feb-15 16:27:18

My cousin had another child at 46 when her oldest two were grownup (and she also had a 12 year old)

AlieOxon Fri 06-Feb-15 16:42:41

The really confusing thing I find is when your GGC is older than his daughter now has a 3-month old at 44......his nephew born
last year....

(And her eldest at 26 this year doesn't like it at all.)

harrigran Fri 06-Feb-15 16:56:50

My mother was 47 when my younger sister was born. my elder sister was 16 and when she went out with the baby people assumed she was the mother. I think it was quite sad because elder sister never did have any babies.
Some couples are waiting so long to have their families that we can never be sure whether they are parents or grandparents, best say nothing in case of causing offence.

rubylady Fri 06-Feb-15 17:49:02

My parents were near 40 when they had my baby sister and when my dad went to put her name down for a Christmas party when she was about 5 years old, the organiser told my dad that it should be a parent, not a grandparent who puts the childs name down. My dad was so angry he stormed back home, took her birth certificate and proudly showed it to the man concerned. He put her name down.

loopylou Fri 06-Feb-15 18:49:40

Reminds me of when I went into labour with DS. DH was off combining so my parents took me to the hospital where after being examined my dad was asked if he'd like to come in!
He was horrified, mum thought it was hilarious and I don't think I could have cared less as DS was born 20 minutes later after a 40 minute labour!
My sister had her second child at 42 and was constantly mistaken for a grandmother.
I was an 'elderly primip' at 25 when I had DD hmm

loopylou Fri 06-Feb-15 18:52:42

And a friend of mine has a sister in law who is a grandmother of a 6 year old and, at 45 has just had twins - her daughter is horrified confused and my friend thinks she's barmy!

glassortwo Fri 06-Feb-15 19:36:45

I am often taken for Mummy with my Grandchildren,especially when my eldest was born when I was 38. But now at 59 to be referred to as 1 yr old DGS Mummy is very welcome.

whenim64 Fri 06-Feb-15 19:53:31

I get called mummy when I take my three year old grandaughter to the library for nursery rhymes. I've said several times that I am nana. It's quite confusing when there are mums there who look rather older than their 40s. I can't imagine being able to cope with newborn twins in my 40s - I was exhausted having them at 33. grin

rosequartz Fri 06-Feb-15 19:54:45

When DD1 started primary school there were two little boys in her class; one was uncle to the other.

loopylou Fri 06-Feb-15 20:01:01

At 61 the thought of being mum to 16 year old twins makes me feel faint....

rosequartz Fri 06-Feb-15 20:06:17

Some people want babies at 61 shock

gillybob Fri 06-Feb-15 22:51:11

You make a very good point here Anya . I am 53. My DGC are 9,7 and 5. I could easily be their mother (heaven forbid) but I was a very young mother having my son at 18 ! I am always very precise in correcting anyone who might make the wrong assumption that I might be "mummy" (for goodness sake I feel about 90). smile

Greenfinch Fri 06-Feb-15 23:04:12

My MIL used to tell us that her two brothers who were 15 and13 years younger than she was would tease her when they travelled on a bus alone with her by calling her "Mummy".

When my DS2 was about 6 he was invited to go and play with a school friend. I needed to speak to the mother whom I did not know. DS referred to her as "the one who looks like his Granny but is actually his Mummy ". I instantly knew who she was.