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The Fear Of Flying

(80 Posts)
Parcs Mon 13-Apr-15 20:12:38

I have family abroad and have not seen them for many years because I am afraid of flying.

I have missed out as have my family because of it.

Has anyone gotten over the fear of flying I would so love to find a way

J52 Tue 14-Apr-15 19:27:04

I enjoy flying, especially long haul. I heard a R4 programme on flying fear and a pilot said that no plane has ever come down due to turbulence!

I have not done any research into his comment, in case it's not true!

x

pompa Tue 14-Apr-15 20:04:32

I have flown a lot for business. I have no fear of flying, it is very safe, However everything about it is stressful, getting to the airport is just the start. Travelling business class helps (can't comment on first class as I only got upgraded to first once).
It's all the hanging around, uncertainty, boredom etc that gets me.
I'm pretty sure that no plane has crashed due to turbulence, but it sure can be uncomfortable. Luckily I can sleep though most flights, my best flight was falling asleep in Hong Kong and waking up in Heathrow.

annodomini Tue 14-Apr-15 20:05:16

Don't mind turbulence - in fact it seems quite exciting. It feels a bit like going over a bumpy road. My first long-haul flight was on September 1st - 2nd 1965 when I first went out to Kenya. There were storms over Italy which caused some turbulence and a lot of passengers were panicky. That was when I discovered I was abnormal!

pompa Tue 14-Apr-15 20:16:28

I have experienced turbulence where those silly enough to ignore the "fasten seat-belts" warning, hit their heads on the overhead lockers.

Parcs Tue 14-Apr-15 20:31:21

Thank you I will check that website out.... flying without fear..

If it is an emotion, then it can be controlled.

J52 Tue 14-Apr-15 20:57:32

Turbulence is great on the Friday Ryan Air flights, its quietens all the stag and hen groups! x

annodomini Tue 14-Apr-15 21:17:32

I usually do keep the seat belt fastened, pompa - I'm not that foolhardy!

soontobe Tue 14-Apr-15 21:50:28

Yes it is an emotion.
Yes, emotions can be controlled.

grumppa Tue 14-Apr-15 21:59:54

Like pompa I have flown a lot on business, and the flight is the stress-free part, even when it's turbulent; it's the checking in and queuing that make the experience unpleasant nowadays.

One slightly perturbing incident: flying home BA from Hong Kong a few years ago I noticed that the flight map on the little screen in front of me located Stansted Airport in North Kent. I consoled myself with the thought that our destination airport, Heathrow, was in the right place. And I'm here now.....

Crafting Tue 14-Apr-15 22:12:12

Parcs I suffer from claustrophobia too and like you couldn't fly and had not been in a lift for 40 years. I decided to try and do something about it when my DGC were born and although I don't enjoy it I can now go in a lift.

I was terrified to get on a plane due to the closed in feeling but once I sat in my seat and DH turned the air vents on full blast I discovered that flying was not as bad as I thought and can cope with it well now.

No miracle cure I'm afraid but if you can convince yourself you will not suffocate (and you won't) it can be overcome. You could also try cognitive behaviour therapy. If someone had told me I would one day get in a lift on my own I would never have believed them as I was terrified but I can and do get in them now. Good luck to you and I hope you make it.

tanith Tue 14-Apr-15 22:12:32

soontobe thanks for the suggestion , he doesn't seem to have a problem watching them take off or land although watching them every day might be a bit problematic grin. I pretty much given up trying to persuade him but as he gets older his problem with me flying is getting worse for him and he gets very upset and stressed as soon as I start to talk about booking flights to holiday or go visit with my little grandson. I've been putting off a booking to go for his 2nd birthday for 2mths now but tomorrow I have to do the booking and try to ignore his wish that I wasn't going.

pompa Tue 14-Apr-15 22:14:33

Grumppa & Pompa - we could be a double act.

We could have sat together on a flight from HK - LHR, flew that route regularly via BA.

soontobe Tue 14-Apr-15 22:15:26

That sounds very hard tanith. I hope that it all goes well tomorrow.

yogagran Tue 14-Apr-15 22:31:18

My DH won't fly, like grumppa it's the checking in, queuing, waiting and being herded around that he hates. I now travel to visit family in Canada on my own, I've given up trying to persuade him to come as he just digs his heels in more & won't even discuss it now.
To be perfectly honest - I now prefer going on my own as I'm not stuck between trying to keep him happy and trying to fit in with the rest of the family hmm

tanith Tue 14-Apr-15 22:32:11

Thanks, I have to keep reminding myself the he can't help the way he feels and that its his problem and not mine. I hate to add to his stress and he tells me to ignore him and do what I have to so I can spend time with my son and his family. He does take me to the airport and picks me up which must be torture for him he tries not to show how scared he is bless him smile

grumppa Tue 14-Apr-15 22:42:19

As it happens, pompa, it was my only flight from Hong Kong. Nearly all my meetings were in Europe: rather a bore once the EEC, as it then was, did away with duty-free on flights within the Community.

CeeCee Tue 14-Apr-15 23:28:43

I used to take Kalms which are herbal and non-drowsy, it is best to start taking them a week or two before you fly. Definitely helped me to feel calmer about flying, used to get very upset while waiting around in the airport. I am much better now and have made several long-haul flights and have also flown on my own which is easier somehow, not being responsible for anyone else or how I am making them feel. I hope you find something or someone to help you Parcs

Nelliemoser Wed 15-Apr-15 00:11:43

Per mile, flying in a commercial airline is far safer than driving .

pompa Wed 15-Apr-15 08:15:40

My most interesting flight was to Singapore, we fly over India at night. There was the the most amazing electrical storm, which we were way above, so quite safe. The lightening was spectacular, bolts were coming UP out of the clouds as well as down.
I was lucky, like you most meetings were in Europe, bit we have offices World wide and I had to visit them fairly regularly. The only place I wanted to go to was Japan, but my boss always volunteered for that trip.

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 15-Apr-15 10:08:22

For me it's definitely a claustrophobia thing. I had a period where I was very reluctant to fly and when I did poor DH had to remove his hand from mine on a regular basis to allow the blood to flow again grin

It has improved.

I think there is a combination of factors.

1) I want to see the world and can't see another way of doing so (hate boats even more and they take too long)
2) I don't want my child to pick up on my issue so I fake being fine and at some point the fakery has (sort of) become real (most of the time!)
3) On one flight, travelling alone, I realised I had two hours of sitting, no phones, no one asking me to do anything, no cleaning, no washing - nothing to do but read. AND they brought me snacks. This had to be a good thing.
4) Rescue Remedy. Various swigs while waiting to get on or take off.

I still don't love it but over time the change has been very noticeable. Just back off a 12 hour flight and even when it got a bit bumpy I was relatively ok.

Very bumpy still freaks me out grin grin

Am MUCH better flying on an emptyish plane than a packed one but sadly this hardly ever happens

Galen Wed 15-Apr-15 11:00:28

Not on topic but Cari heard you on wireless yesterday. Well said.

Parcs Wed 15-Apr-15 11:21:28

Ceecee I take B12 vitamin and that helps me feel calmer, is the KALMS the same do you think

CariGransnet (GNHQ) Wed 15-Apr-15 11:35:48

Thank you Galen I'm assuming the Radio 4 thing? I've done a few this week!

merlotgran Wed 15-Apr-15 12:41:36

Cari, Maybe you could get an expert from one of these 'fear of flying' courses on here to answer some questions?

DD swears by Rescue Remedy as well.

pompa Wed 15-Apr-15 13:00:15

Mrs.P is cloustraphobic and hates flying because of it. We now book business class seats (only travel to Europe), it is not that expensive and the extra room around her makes the trip bearable. I think not having that seat back in your face is the main thing. It also makes the waiting at the airport much more pleasant in the aircon BC lounge.