Should I????

Perhaps if we had known that it was his suggestion in the first case our answers would have been very different.

I think you've made the right decision phoenix, some men (not MrP) might think you were checking up on him. Some just feel a bit inhibited when a wife turns up.

Just off the top of my head if you would like to make some sort of a gesture .... As you know where they will be meeting up.. could you phone and order a round of drinks for the company..... and perhaps a message...''Cheers folks... but I'm glad to get my DH back now"

(Depending of course on the size of the company, what feelings are regarding alcohol etc.)

The daft thing is that when he was home last weekend, he suggested that I did go there today, but I don't think he had really thought about the logistics of it (apart from the cost) I'd have to get a neighbour to look after the chaps, turn the fish tanks lights off tonight, then on tomorrow etc.

Good decision Phoenix spend the time instead cooking his favourite meal, low lights, seductive music, slip into something more 'relaxing' or alternatively fish and chips, a bottle of ale and his favourite slippers, whatever floats his boat

I think you are probably right phoenix. When DH worked away I never turned up unannounced he would not have been amused.

That's a wise decision, phoenix. I was going to post earlier (but had to do the dratted food shop) that I've been on the other side of the fence so to speak.

Back in the nineties, when we had a pub and restaurant, we had a large campsite and often allowed people working on six month contracts to move their caravans on for the duration. It was good business for us because they ate most of their meals in the pub and they soon made friends among the regulars and locals. When they left we would give them a bit of a send off to say thank you for their custom, not to mention their sometimes great company - one of them was an excellent blues guitarist!

Occasionally on or two of them would invite the 'missus' to their 'do'. It rarely worked. I would be the one making a big effort to make them feel welcome because their OH would be with his mates and loving all the fuss and attention - not to mention the free drinks!

Definitely not worth the hassle of driving all that way.

Thank you all.

I have decided against it. Although I'm sure that himself would be very pleased, it is over 4 hours each way, and approximately 200 miles, which I think would take a fair amount of petrol, and as he's just had the accountants bill, plus HMRC need their pound of flesh.......................

Ask Mr P if he would like you to be present. I don't 'get' surprises and would rather know what was going on. I think it would be nice for you to go and meet his pals, especially Keith, but can't see the point of a surprise.
Hope his new job goes well.

I have occasionally been to various social events with my husband and his work colleagues. I know that if I was in your circumstances my husband would be delighted to be surprised by me walking in, but only you can know how Mr. P might respond. Trust your instinct.

Perhaps toss a coin. I can't see it's that important either way tbh.

Unless specifically invited or even hinted at that my presence would be welcome it's not something I would consider doing.

I know and understand this is something you want to do for your DH Phoenix but others in the company may not get that. Go by your instinct, if in doubt, that would give me my answer.

Good luck to Mr P in his new position.

Mr P can say his own thanks to the old feller. You don't need to say it for him.

I wouldn't think it would be particularly emotional. They are just a bunch mates/work colleagues having a drink and a nosh to say cheerio. I would leave them to it.

I'd let them get on with it. They just want to do a bit of in-group bonding before someone leaves. If you were not specifically invited then don't invite yourself. It is not as if he's been there for 30 years. Instead send Keith a nice card saying thanks for everything - or ask if you can phone him to express your thoughts. Driving down would be OTT.

phoenix I think that this is a difficult one but only you know Mr. P and what his reaction is likely to be. It will possibly be your only chance of meeting "that Keith" and it does sound as though it maybe an emotional farewell so maybe your presence will be gratefully received!

"Stripper" you have my attention now.

Mrs P had a farewell do when she retired, I wasn't invited, just the taxi driver, I had to get fish 'n chips.

I didn't get a farewell, was made redundant and was escorted to my desk, put personal stuff in a box and escorted off the premises ( I had too much access into computer systems to risk me staying)

They might have organised a stripper

I would certainly ask Mr P even though it would spoil the surprise.Would not like to think it would all fall rather flat.

I think it would a lovely gesture and your DH would be delighted that you'd taken your long distance driving nerves by the throat so that you could surprise him in this way. Do it!

I can't help wondering what Mr P has been telling his cronies about you, phoenix!

I wouldn't muscle in personally, but you know the situation best Pheonix ...I'm just wondering why you ask, I detect a slight uncertainty.

Oh, Elegran you spoiled my thunder

I'm half-hoping that 'Keith' is a voluptuous, blowsy blonde

They do all sound a lovely bunch though.

I do hope that everyone on here is right Phoenix.I think you know your DH and we don't of course, not all like surprises.Hope it goes well.

Oh yes go they will love to see you.