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Should I????

(33 Posts)
Anne58 Thu 28-May-15 00:12:49

Mr P will be having his last day amongst the chums he has made while on a contract with Hampshire County Council tomorrow evening, as when he checks out of his B&B on Friday morning that will be it! (he starts at Bath & North East Somerset Council the following Monday.

Now, here's the question! During his 14 month spell down/up there, he has made some really good friends, one of whom (Keith, aged 78) has been especially nice, preparing the odd casserole, home made soup etc. Keith has occasionally phoned over the weekend that Mr P is home, to check if Mr P is actually coming that week, so that he can work out if he should cook the extra bit! Keith has also expressed a wish to meet me. Mr P also attended the funeral of one of the champs who was a regular fixture at table 4. Quite young, double leg amptutee because of diabetes

Now, sorry for the long delay, but do I drive down there tomorrow for what will be his last night with his chums? I know that that there has been a thread about a spouse not being invited to her DH's leaving do, but perhaps this is a bit different?

My usual 5.30pm conversation with Mr P makes me think that to drive down as a surprise, and just be in or walk into the pub where are will be a good thing. He phoned a while ago a bit "emotional" to say that he was so touched that 27 members of the Table 4 Club confused had all come out to see him, in case they couldn't make it tomorrow!

Referring back to paragraph. right now I think "yes", but is it a total waste
of fuel, or a loving gesture?

absent Thu 28-May-15 00:22:45

I reckon it's a loving gesture and Mr P will be delighted. So, too, will Keith.

Anne58 Thu 28-May-15 00:40:22

Thanks absent it will cost a bit in fuel, but no extra charge with regard to the room. Plus Mr P will understand what it will have taken in sheer nerve! Not over fond of long distance driving!

Just want to show how much I appreciate him working away from home in order to keep us above water, and how much I value the friendship (even though I think that "that Keith" at the age of 78 leads him astray!) and welcome of the people he has met while he was working there.

kittylester Thu 28-May-15 06:45:19

A good idea Phoenix, I think he will be really chuffed! Enjoy. wine

baubles Thu 28-May-15 08:06:15

I do think this is a different situation to those discussed on the other thread Phoenix. It will be a lovely surprise and very well received I'm sure.

hildajenniJ Thu 28-May-15 08:34:56

Since Keith has expressed a wish to meet you, and this may be the one and only opportunity, I think you should go. I imagine that it will be a delightful surprise for them all, let alone Mr P. If I was in a similar position, I wouldn't think twice.

glammanana Thu 28-May-15 08:49:29

You go for it Phoenix your man will be delighted and so will "that Keith" and good luck to Mr P when he starts new position next week.

Elegran Thu 28-May-15 08:52:41

Yes, go. They sound a nice bunch, OH will be pleased, and so will Keith (unless he turns out to be a woman with a very deep voice and OH has not been telling you everything . . . .)

Teetime Thu 28-May-15 08:55:20

Oh yes go they will love to see you.

rosesarered Thu 28-May-15 08:55:33

I do hope that everyone on here is right Phoenix.I think you know your DH and we don't of course, not all like surprises.Hope it goes

Riverwalk Thu 28-May-15 09:38:08

Oh, Elegran you spoiled my thunder grin

I'm half-hoping that 'Keith' is a voluptuous, blowsy blonde

They do all sound a lovely bunch though.

Anya Thu 28-May-15 09:39:34

I wouldn't muscle in personally, but you know the situation best Pheonix ...I'm just wondering why you ask, I detect a slight uncertainty.

annodomini Thu 28-May-15 09:42:22

I can't help wondering what Mr P has been telling his cronies about you, phoenix! grin

AshTree Thu 28-May-15 09:57:19

I think it would a lovely gesture and your DH would be delighted that you'd taken your long distance driving nerves by the throat so that you could surprise him in this way. Do it!

annsixty Thu 28-May-15 10:02:03

I would certainly ask Mr P even though it would spoil the surprise.Would not like to think it would all fall rather flat.

annsixty Thu 28-May-15 10:03:20

They might have organised a stripper grin

pompa Thu 28-May-15 10:20:38

"Stripper" grin you have my attention now.

Mrs P had a farewell do when she retired, I wasn't invited, just the taxi driver, I had to get fish 'n chips.

I didn't get a farewell, was made redundant and was escorted to my desk, put personal stuff in a box and escorted off the premises ( I had too much access into computer systems to risk me staying)

Charleygirl Thu 28-May-15 10:50:32

phoenix I think that this is a difficult one but only you know Mr. P and what his reaction is likely to be. It will possibly be your only chance of meeting "that Keith" and it does sound as though it maybe an emotional farewell so maybe your presence will be gratefully received!

JessM Thu 28-May-15 10:52:31

I'd let them get on with it. They just want to do a bit of in-group bonding before someone leaves. If you were not specifically invited then don't invite yourself. It is not as if he's been there for 30 years. Instead send Keith a nice card saying thanks for everything - or ask if you can phone him to express your thoughts. Driving down would be OTT.

jinglbellsfrocks Thu 28-May-15 11:38:07

I wouldn't think it would be particularly emotional. They are just a bunch mates/work colleagues having a drink and a nosh to say cheerio. I would leave them to it.

jinglbellsfrocks Thu 28-May-15 11:39:21

Mr P can say his own thanks to the old feller. You don't need to say it for him.

Agus Thu 28-May-15 11:53:31

Unless specifically invited or even hinted at that my presence would be welcome it's not something I would consider doing.

I know and understand this is something you want to do for your DH Phoenix but others in the company may not get that. Go by your instinct, if in doubt, that would give me my answer.

Good luck to Mr P in his new position.

jinglbellsfrocks Thu 28-May-15 11:55:40

Perhaps toss a coin. I can't see it's that important either way tbh.

grannyactivist Thu 28-May-15 12:03:55

I have occasionally been to various social events with my husband and his work colleagues. I know that if I was in your circumstances my husband would be delighted to be surprised by me walking in, but only you can know how Mr. P might respond. Trust your instinct.

rubysong Thu 28-May-15 12:10:39

Ask Mr P if he would like you to be present. I don't 'get' surprises and would rather know what was going on. I think it would be nice for you to go and meet his pals, especially Keith, but can't see the point of a surprise.
Hope his new job goes well.