Does anyone have experience of self funding care home.

That is very interesting Hilda, thank you. Her will leaves everything to my stepdad then to my brother and I, if he dies before her. My step dad has also made a will leaving evening to my brother and I.

So, if she dies first the money undoubtedly could be used for him.

Co-incidently I was speaking to my very wealthy brother today to update him. Don't know why, as he has zero interest in either of them or me. He got quite sniffy about using the money for him at first. Said "the council should look after him!!!!" My mum was married to my dad for 30 years. She has been married to my step dad for 40. He took amazing care of her .

When I suggested that he could take over dealing with the social services, selling the house and sorting everything out he back pedalled very quickly.

As Power of Attorney your responsibilities are to honour your Mother's wishes as you feel they would be expressed by her. You also have a duty of care to maintain her estate and you would be answerable to anyone included in her will.

My OH was PoA for his father and made sure that any decisions her made were in line with his fathers wishes (as he felt them to be) but also safeguarding the capital for the eventual dividing of the Estate upon his death. To this end he kept copies of everything as if there is ever any dispute one has to prove you were acting with due care and fairness.

That's a difficult one littleflo, I really don't know.
I wouldn't think the funds have to be ring fenced for her but, as I say, I really don't know.
Perhaps if you speak to AgeUk they might know.

Sorry to add another question in. I know that once he leaves the house i will have to pay the full amount for my mums care. My plan is to use some of the proceeds to pay for his care also.

I have PoA for both of them for finance and health. Strictly speaking the house proceeds are my mums as she never put him on the deeds.

She would have wanted to him to have the best care possibly. Can SS say that the house proceeds have to be ring fenced for her care only.

Your stepfather would be entitled to funding in his own right if he doesn't have more than (I think) £22500 savings but Social Services would want to assess him first as needing that level of care. If he is self-funding then he's eligible for SS funding once his savings drop below that figure.does he clam Attendance Allowance. - it would be worth speaking to AgeUk for advice too.

I hope it all goes well!

Then your step father would be entitled to help unless he has lots of savings, I think. Look at the Ageuk website or ring them. It sounds as though he would be entitled to help on health grounds as well. Does he claim any benefits currently eg pension credit, attendance allowance?

She gets help only while my step dad is in the house. The house is in her name

I don't think that SS will say he can't go in a home so long as you are funding it? Does you r mum get any help with funding? Ageuk are really good as far as this goes. Look on the website.

In whose name is the house? If your step father has no interest in the house you might just need to pay a top up but , in my experience, the choice of home is yours.

This is a very complicated situation for me so I hope I will not bore you.
My mum has been on the home for 4 years, severe Alzheimer's. Interacts a bit with the staff but does not recognise any one else. She is 93.

Step dad 85 has only one leg is in a wheelchair. Last few months he has been saying that it is all too much for him. Financially he is paying out a substantial amount more to live in the house than he has in income (bills and paying for cleaner, Gardner, handy man etc). I know that he will not qualify for any addition funding or care package and he does not want these. He. Has a carer twice a day.

Now the complicated bit. The house is mums. Her home is part funded by SS as her husband lives in it. So when he leaves I will have to,sell it and pay fully for her care. I also want to subside his care from the house proceeds, so that he can live out his life in the way that he wants. Even though my mum does not recognise him, he wants to be with her.

Now two people in a care home is going to eat into the money. On that basis will SS say he can't go into the home because there is a possibility that the money will run out.

I have a meeting with the care home manager on Monday. They have indicated before that my step dad could go there. He visits mum each week and is well known there. He thinks it is just a case of turning up there. I don't want to disappoint him by saying it may not be that easy, nor do I want to give him false hope.

So I don't know if anyone has anything useful to add. After. Seeing the care home manager I will need to,speak to SS for advice, but I have found I the past that the more info you have the better.

Apologies again for,the long post.

I should have said that Mum was self funding for approx 3 years and, when we could see that she needed more specialist dementia care and was running out of money, we involved social services! I say this every time anyone moans about SWs - ours was fabulous!

No matter who is paying any decent Carehome will do an assessment to ensure they can fully meet any potential 'guest's' needs. Then there will be the matter of vacancies....once again if its a really good home there may be a waiting list. You need to have a full and frank conversation with the chosen home...they are the people to help you.

Any care home can decide not to take any potential resident and any decision to accept one will be dependent, not only on finance, but also whether the disabilities the potential resident has match the conditions that the care home can care for.

For example, many care homes take people with dementia, but only specialist units will take dementia patients with severe behavioural problems. When one of my uncle's was in care the mental condition of the man in the next room deteriorated suddenly and he physically attacked my relation. The care home he was in did not have the specialist facilities to care for people with severe behavioural problems and he was swiftly transferred to a care home with the necessary facilities.

Some homes will also have waiting lists, although in a case like yours they may well let your DF queue jump.

Do your parents want to share a room or have two separate rooms? Another aunt and uncle of mine went into (self-funded) care together, both with dementia, and were insistent that they had to share a room. Their entry into care was precipitate and the only care home we could find with two vacancies had them as two single rooms. When, on the first night, DU insisted on sharing his wife's bed and she got distressed when they tried to move him, the care home moved both beds into one room and they used the second room as a day room. It took us several months to find a suitable care home with a double room.

If the care home cannot accept him, you could move both of them to a care home that can accommodate both. In this case you would have to balance any stress changing care homes would cause your mother against the benefits she would gain by having her husband living with her again.

What loopy said! If his disabilities are severe he may need a nursing home rather than a care home. Would the carers still be part of the deal? Do you imagine that they are going to refuse him a place - is that why you haven't asked them?

Does he have a social worker? We didn't get one sorted for Mum until she needed one but I feel we would have been better to talk to them before she left her home. Your step father might be eligible for a contribution from the NHS.

It depends whether his physical disabilities require nursing care and whether the care home is also a nursing home (should he require that)
I presume you would find out by asking the care home if they have vacancies and would they be able to meet his need.
It sounds like an excellent idea to me. The home would advise on costs etc

I can see no reason why they would refuse him if he is self funding.
He may however, be on a waiting list. The home will be able to chose their criteria for who they offer the next available room to.