childrens bedtimes

janeainsworth I don't see anything wrong at all with stay at home moms wanting the evening to themselves and hubby's. I know i did as much as I loved my kids . If you work that's entirely different and school holiday rules are different to term time IMHO. But each family should do what is right for them.

i agree that children should have regular and fairly early bed times. If you look at the sleep requirements for children, they are quite high, but I don't think the odd late night on a special visit/occasion is too much of a problem.

3 of my GC live in Spain and have a Spanish mother and they go to bed very late. To be fair it is incredibly hot in the summer. They phoned yesterday and said it was quite cool only 25+. It is usually 30+ to 40. The only time it is pleasant to be out and walking is early or late. They also eat late too. 8 pm or later. However, I have never understood why the don't change the routine in the winter.

2 GC in England go to bed between 7 -7.30. They are twins but one is an owl, usually not asleep before 9 and the other a lark.

Tahith, I agree with you. In Europe it is a completely different culture. Children socialise with the family and grow up closer to their family. The family that eats together, stay together. There are other times to catch up on sleep than at night.

I'm not sure but I think in some other European countries the school day starts earlier and finishes earlier and so presumably the children can go home and have a nap. In the UK the school day generally finishes between 3 and 3.30 so if children have gone to bed very late they are likely to be quite tired in the afternoon and to find it more difficult to concentrate.

It seems to me that an earlier school start might be better, although apparently research shows that teenagers in particular benefit from a late school start because they are more alert and focused later in the day. I wonder about this. My friend at school came from Germany and when she lived there she had to start school at, I think, 8 a.m. She also finished much earlier. Educationally, she was far in advance of me and didn't seem to have suffered at all under the early start regime.

My DGDs are in bed and light off by 7.30pm on school nights. They are three and a half and six. Holidays and weekends are slightly later like 8pm. The four and half year old upstairs is up until 10pm some nights, on school nights about nine . She goes down for a nap about 4pm ! Her mother said otherwise she gets grumpy. She doesn't sleep any later so no wonder she gets grumpy. Children of that age need a regular bedtime routine, she seems to go to bed when she feels like it. After a full day with your children it's nice to have the evening to yourself. It seems to be the norm with a lot of parents these days that the whole family goes to bed at the same time.

If a baby or small child doesn't easily fall asleep an evening stroll in the buggy often helps them drop off.

The occasional late night is ok but children need sleep. I taught children who were so tired they would fall asleep in class. Whenever I discussed it with their parents I would hear the same things, "They go to bed when I do", "I just let them watch TV until they fall asleep on the sofa" and my favourite, "They watch TV or play their XBox/Playstation in their rooms until they fall asleep". I suggested that they stop them watching TV etc but was told that the children did it when the parents were asleep. After much discussion about who was in charge in the family I suggested they remove the plugs from the TVs and Game Consoles. This was greeted with total amazement and horror. There was no way they could do that because their children would be upset and cross with them. At that point I gave up and continued to have a quiet corner in my room where exhausted children could nap. This was Year 3 btw.

I think it's hard to lay down hard and fast rules about when children should go to bed and how much sleep they need. Vq is right, of course, if children are falling asleep in the daytime, they are being deprived of sleep at night. But some children seem to manage on less sleep than most. With my first DS, I was worried by the fact that he didn't sleep nearly as much as my friend's babies and we spent a lot of time and wasted effort trying to get him to sleep when he was wide awake. With my second DS I accepted it and by the time the DGS arrived I almost expected it. One of the three is a sleeper!

Childrens' bedtimes:

When our younger son turned 13 we moved his bed time back half an hour. Days or weeks later, he stood by the door asking, "Do I* have* to stay up till 9pm?"

Sometime this year, in a radio interview, a Primary school teacher stated one or two of her pupils consistently fell asleep in class

I quite often agree with you jings but don't on this one

I can't see the problem with a late night if the children are not at school the next day.

I look after my DGC quite a bit especially during school holidays. We love to go out for night walks. We get dressed up warm and head down to the promenade and take in the sea air. We sometimes stop off for a drink or a hot choccy. The children are chit chatting all the time. We also go and kick leaves in the park in the dark. We do the cinema with a cheeky visit to Frankie and Benny's afterwards (expensive but it's their favourite) Such a treat for them. We all fall into bed at around 10 o'clock.

We used to take our kids with us to family and friends and put them to bed there ,picking them up wrapped in blankets later. My DS does the same ,but my DD does not - she has a set bedtime that is stuck to rigidly .All DGC are happy and active. So I'm sure it's what suits each individual family. But I love seeing all the generations enjoying a meal together in a restaurant when on holiday abroad and wish it happened more here in the UK .