Gransnet forums

Ask a gran


(16 Posts)
GrandmaH Fri 04-Sep-15 12:38:46

I know it is normal & I know we all go through it but eldest GS is now 11 & starts 'big school' today. He has been a joy all through nursery & primary school but it is inevitable he will change now he will be mixing with so many, much older children. It's normal- it's natural - I know that but I feel so sad & also a bit concerned- not that he is a bit worried & is very out going & confident.
I have 5 more GC- youngest is only just 1- but I will miss my eldest boy.

When do they start not wanting to go to Grandma's any more?I don't live on the doorstep but they come to stay a lot & I love it.
I expect there are a lot of Grandmas out there in a similar frame of mind today!
It only seems yesterday I was worrying about his father!

tanith Fri 04-Sep-15 12:53:11

Its perfectly fine to feel sad but I'm afraid it part of letting go isn't it? I'm at the stage when my youngest grandchild (I do have a 2yr old but lives abroad) is now 10 and the other 6 are now late teens and 20's so and although we have great contact through texts and FB I actually mostly only see them if there is a family get together meal or birthday celebration. Its hard but they are making their own lives with partners and friends and I'm grateful that they text me and I can keep up with their daily lives on FB...

Its hard but part of being a Grandma, be happy that he's not concerned and you have helped to make him confidant and outgoing, what more could you wish for.

Luckygirl Fri 04-Sep-15 13:18:44

My oldest DGS is now 12 and is entering his second year of secondary school. I have to tell you that he even more affectionate than he was before! - so don't despair.

ginny Fri 04-Sep-15 13:37:04

My Grandson will be 13 in a couple of weeks time. He has been staying with us this week and we also took him away with us a couple of weeks ago. He too is still very affectionate. I hope the relationship we have built up over the years will grow as he does even though I know it will change.
I have a new Grandchild due in February and look forward to doing it all over again.

NotTooOld Fri 04-Sep-15 13:43:29

I'm sad, too. Our eldest GS is 14 and his sister, 12 at Christmas, has just started secondary school. She's been coming to us (at her own request) after school on Mondays for a long time now and I will really miss her. We do have two younger GC but they are not nearby. The only answer is to keep busy and not brood about it, I think. It is easier to keep in touch now with texting and FB but not the same as being able to give them a cuddle.

Crafting Fri 04-Sep-15 19:03:52

My DGC is hopefully going to school after 18 months of being at home. Be glad your GS is outgoing and confident. Mine is not and we are so worried for his future.

annsixty Fri 04-Sep-15 19:16:34

Crafting you don't elaborate but my GS has not been to school for 2 years. He had a serious illness aged 13 and developed CFS and IBS after a prolonged course of intravenous anti-biotics. Going to school wasn't an option for him. He did his GCSE's this year, only 6, and couldn't make it to the centre for one of them. In the circumstances his results were reasonable as he did all his learning online-not easy. We hope he will be able to do three days a week at 6th form college and our fingers are firmly crossed. All good wishes for your GC I am with you in your worries.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 04-Sep-15 19:30:03

My older one will be fourteen in a few days. I spent some time thinking over his 'littlie' years in the bath yesterday. I did get a bit sad, but there are compensations. He is getting to be a lot more empathetic to other people's feelings these days. And he is entering an interesting stage of his life. I hope I will be able to watch (from a bit of a distance). That'll do me. I've still got him. Thank the Lord. And I don't for one moment believe he will turn into a monster!

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 04-Sep-15 19:30:25

and he's still my baby anyway. and he knows it.

jinglbellsfrocks Fri 04-Sep-15 19:32:29

For his fourteenth birthday I've helped him open his first bank current account. Ready for his birthday money. (Nothing like dosh at that age grin)

merlotgran Fri 04-Sep-15 19:42:05

My second eldest grandson (I have four DGSs and three DGDs) is just seventeen. His mum is working away this weekend so he's just hoovered up a huge plate of chicken and chips - with a very small portion of salad just to keep me happy. He's now off to his girlfriend's house for the rest of the evening. This is the first time he has stayed home alone (his younger brother is staying with a friend) so as he's only next door I can keep an eye on him.

It only seems like yesterday I was meeting them outside the primary school gates and bringing them home for their tea.

downtoearth Fri 04-Sep-15 19:44:52

E starts college Monday, have been there since conception.
My DD young mum at 18,victim of domestic violence dead at 23.
I was with E for her first day at school two days after DD died,I have shared all stages of her life as a nan and mother figure,bank accounts,periods,teen angst highs and lows about her mum and exams.
My baby is 17 in her christening bible I said I would give my life for her, how prophetic those words where..and I still would all those years later....when I see her settled and on the right path of her choosing my job as nan will be done sunshine

annsixty Fri 04-Sep-15 19:58:33

downtoearth fantastic jobflowers

Teetime Sat 05-Sep-15 10:04:39

My smallest GS started big school on Thursday (aged 11) he is small for his age but stocky and DD2 said he looked like Al Murray in his blazer. I thought he looked wonderful. I worried all day about his using public transport to go to school as he has been so protected and pampered. He was fine and he rang me that evening on his first mobile phone (it was my old one) to tell me all about it. Eldest GS is 30 and getting married in two months time threatening to make me a GGM!!! Not sure about that at 62!

NanSue Sat 05-Sep-15 10:29:20

I have 4 DGC in total two of them do not live in this country so sadly I have not had an awful lot of input in their upbringing. I have looked after my DD's two whilst she works full time. The eldest is nearly 8 and started Junior school on Wednesday, he literally seems to have grown up overnight! The youngest is just 2 and just lately I seem to be forever thinking that she will be the last DGC we will have, so am really trying to make the most of her even when she is being a total monster and I am left exhausted at the end of the day.

GrandmaH Sat 05-Sep-15 10:52:23

Ah- thank you all. I feel very grateful that my GS is fit & healthy enough to go to school of course. I have a friend who has a GD who has not had more than 2 weeks continuous schooling since she was 9 & is now nearly 17. I know how hard that is.
It's reassuring to know that I am not alone in feeling sad & apprehensive.
I know he will be fine but you never stop worrying about them do you?
I think we all consider the parents feelings at this point but we forget poor old GPs who are also going to miss seeing the so much. I am very lucky that all 6 of them live near enough to be seen regularly. A lot of my friends have GC abroad & I know they miss the day to day stuff..

He's a kind & thoughtful lad & very confident so he will be fine. He says he can't wait to go back on Monday anyway.

Keeping busy will NOT be a problem for me- that's for sure. Don't join the WI if you want any spare time- not ours anyway!

Love to all those GMs out there worrying about GC at new schools- from nursery to University.xx