Oh Dear...such a long story, i'll try and condense it.
Background - i have a 40 year old nephew (lets call him M) who has sponged off my parents for years, he has no 'legal' job, does work here and there...he's a bit of a bad lot, his mother (my oldest sister) has practically disowned him for all the trouble he has caused over the years, he doesn't see his father. BUT my parents has refused to believe any of his wrong doings. When Mum was alive (sadly she died last year) she gave him the odd £10 or £20 here and there but knew what he was like and was careful with money....
A few months ago he was evicted from his home and my father has taken him in, even his mother (my oldest sister) told dad not too - she, like the rest of us, could see what was coming. My dad is 82 years old and we have just found out that he has been giving nephew money - it appears to around the £2000 mark so far - even though we asked him not to hand any money over - with promises that it would be paid back.
This has all come to light this week, unfortunately none of us live close to Dad (i am 300 miles away - my nearest sister about 30 miles always) Apparently the house is in a filthy state and M was supposed to be arranging a cleaner. I spoke to Dad today and told me today that M has sorted a cleaner out, i asked what that was costing and Dad said £30 an hour! i said surely not Dad, that's far to much (my feeling is that this is another way for M to get money out of him.
Anyway, another of my sister and husband are going to see Dad this week and try and find out what is happening. Apparently M stays in bed all day, rising late afternoon and we know he smokes 'wacky backy' even though dad has asked him not to do it in the house.
I should point out that my 1 am one of four girls, my dad always wanted a boy, Mum said they would have stopped at 2 children if they'd had a boy but after 4 girls decided they couldnt afford any more. So you see M is the son dad never had.....
Are we wrong to interfere, Any advice would be helpful, Dad likes to show that he is coping on his own after Mums passing but when i spoke to him earlier he sounded really fed up.
I really just wanted to vent - sorry - but any kind words or advice greatfully received
ladytina42 Tue 27-Oct-15 18:56:27
Crafting Tue 27-Oct-15 20:02:19
M0nica Tue 27-Oct-15 20:59:29
Luckygirl Tue 27-Oct-15 22:26:29
ladytina42 Tue 27-Oct-15 23:18:44
Judthepud2 Wed 28-Oct-15 19:39:25
tanith Wed 28-Oct-15 19:45:50