thank you letters

I wasn't brought up to write thank you cards and so my children never got the habit , now I can hardly complain if I never get them. I'm happy that they all say thankyou or send a FB message.

Im glad Im quite normal to have been hovering with notepad in hand.

I thought I was being a bit OTT. now I can tell DD that I know several people who 'hovered' as well as me.

I did that hovering with list in hand thing too! Then nagged/ encouraged the children to write thank you letters.That's probably why most of them never think to write thank you letters nowadays, nor encourage the the grandchildren to acknowledge gifts either. I'm old fashioned and would love to receive a little note...even a text or email from the budding teenagers would be nice...but I'm not holding my breath!

Oh yes - I remember slaving over thank you letters a a child - I generally put the same on them all!

My GC who live away do send a note - but it always looks to me as though Mum has generated it on the computer - usually with pics of the birthday or whatever.

I tend to send emails - how lazy is that?

I must admit I do ask if someone has got their present or if it fits/is liked etc.
I remember my late in laws who thanked me upon receiving their presents and I thanked them for ours but the next day I would ring and say that my presents were liked, 'oh I love the jumper' etc (even if I hated it).They never ever mentioned my presents to them I was always hurt.

I wouldn't worry about it, if it wasn't one thing it would be another. I used to get special notepaper as a child and loved writing letters. There are other things that I mention to my mother but they didn't bother me really.
I made my children write thank you letters to people they didn't see- people like it.

ethel although I said up thread that I reckoned thanking you cards weren't commonly done nowadays, I do remember standing over my son(who is now 40) getting him to do his thank you replies. When noone else bothered.
We all have nagging regrets, absolutely.

I do think that when a child draws something to our attention that we did as a parent, we take it to heart. It is most likely that doing the thank-yous was certainly a chore to your dd but perhaps the words 'the one thing that spoiled Christmas and birthdays' were stronger and more hurtful than she actually meant them to be. Maybe you are like me..... I'm an over thinker .... and yes I do have many parenting nagging regrets that pop up into my head even after 20 or 30 years.

As commented by GillT57 I do get irritated by folks not acknowledging a gift that is sent in the post. I've been known to wait a few weeks and then text/email saying..... did my package ever arrive?

If the present is given face to face and the recipient thanks the giver there and then I think there is no reason to write a thank you note at a later date. However, if the present has been sent by post I think it is polite to send a quick note/email/phone call of thanks, apart from anything else the giver then knows the gift has been received. I can understand that your DD felt uncomfortable with the process, but surely she would be offended if a well thought out and considered gift wasn't even acknowledged? I too used to hover at birthday parties with pen and paper to write down who had given what so that the thank you note was right! My god daughter never acknowledges gifts, and it does bother me as I sometimes send cash and wonder if it arrives.

I was brought up to send a thank you card/letter. Nowadays I send an email to say thank you.

A while ago I was invited to a teenagers birthday party. I handed my gift to her mother as the girl was speaking with somebody else. I was not thanked and there was no acknowledgement afterwards. I thought that was rude but maybe I am old fashioned as I had gone to a lot of bother and expense to choose a gift for her.

I just hate the thought that I made my DD so unhappy over a wretched card. We are more like sisters and that is a nagging regret.

It's a long time since I received a thank you card, perhaps occasionally for a wedding gift. Also with emails/FB nowadays perhaps an acknowledgement is more likely to be made that way.

I do understand what you mean, it's one thing to say thank you when receiving a gift, it's another to let the person know that you liked the gift.
I don't think anyone bothers much with this tradition.