I think maybe I will lower the tone a bit with this naughty tale of a generous tip:
An elderly milkman was retiring - he was very popular in the district and as he made his final round, he was receiving some generous tips.
At one large and expensive looking house, he was greeted by a most attractive middle-aged lady in a revealing negligee. She asked him in and seated him at the kitchen table, where she served him a lavish 'full English' and a glass of Bucks Fizz.
After he had cleared his plate, she beckoned him to the bedroom, where she seduced poor old Milkie, showing him every trick in the book.
Afterwards, she led him to the door and pressed a pound coin into his hand.
"Oh my dear," says Milkie. "I've had some adventures in my time, but I've never been treated to such - ahem - generosity and kindness!"
"Well," said the housewife. "It was my hubby's idea. I told him that you were retiring, and asked him what we should do. He said, "Oh, F*#K the milkman - just give him a quid!"
The breakfast was my idea. ".