CAMP A. You were up at the crack of the crack of dawn, all bright eyed and bushy tailed. (Perhaps because you hadn't imbibed two bottles of CoOp prosecco, three G&Ts and that glass of Baileys which tipped you over the edge!) Down to the sales where you get loads of tat.....er I mean "bargains" (you probably spent more on carrier bags!). Back home to put the finishing touches to your hot water crust festive pie, which you started last night during the adverts in Downton. Quick run around with the cordless Dyson before the neighbours pop round for a glass of (homemade) eggnog and a piece of pie. Two o'clock, out for a brisk walk in your new coat as recommended by Gok Wan.
CAMP B. You have the longest lie in of the year, 8.11am. stagger into the bathroom look in the mirror and see the love child of Oor Wullie (non Scottish gransnetters, google it) and Alice Cooper staring back at you! You could have sworn you got all your mascara off last night during the snotfest that is Downton. Wander down the stairs to put kettle on. Can't find aforementioned kettle as the dishes (it semed like a good idea yesterday "to leave them to steep") cover every surface. Give up and go into living room where you switch telly on and slump on the couch where, to your delight you find an abandoned Chocolate Orange, well it is one of your five a day! You then spend three hours watching the Royal Institute's Christmas Lectures because you can't find the remote under the sea of wrapping paper! Other half eventually surfaces to find you in a sugar induced half coma muttering something about the periodic table! Dinner....dried up turkey (cos you forgot to cover it) and real chips in a real chip pan! Perfect day.
Which camp where you in yesterday?
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Your elder or eldest daughter, I think.