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Help urgently needed

(64 Posts)
Granarchist Mon 04-Jan-16 14:12:06

Wedding approaching early April. Youngest DD's. I need an outfit that will not disgrace her. I am 5'4" - at least 2 stone overweight and hate - truly hate shopping (I tend to cry). As I have said before, I don't want 'mother of the bride' tattooed on my forehead but do have to match up to elegant, tall mother of the groom. Must have sleeves - at least enough to cover bingo wings. There will be dancing. I have looked at Coast online but nothing sings to me. Cant wear high heels due to knee replacement and arthritic feet - gosh I sound attractive. I want to be comfortable in all senses of the word and to do the children proud.

morethan2 Sun 07-Feb-16 13:37:54

I could have written this post a few years back. Except I was mother of the groom. My DiL mother is tall and elegant. she's lovely though. I'm short and misshaped. I had a outfit made for me. It's easier now than it was then as I've noticed lots of tailoring outfitters run by newly arrived immigrants are opening. It may be worth your while popping in and asking them to make you somthing or asking if they would alter an outfit that you buy off the peg. My husband did this recently with a evening suit and had a very professional job done. So much so he had to force the tailor to except more money because he felt he was undercharging. My suit didn't make me look tall and elegant but everyone said it looked lovely and suited me. That's all I wanted really. Most importantly of all though is to wear a big proud smile and enjoy.

Elegran Sun 07-Feb-16 12:46:05

If you can't find it, it is here - www.gransnet.com/forums/grandads_shed/1223217-Bee-in-your-Bonnet

Granny23 Sun 07-Feb-16 12:39:42

There you are Real Grandad - a thread called Bee in Your Bonnet - all set up for you.

Jalima Sun 07-Feb-16 12:19:32

Now why didn't I find that site before two of the DC's weddings!!

Luckygirl Sun 07-Feb-16 12:02:07

PS - I am quite tall, but the mother of the groom also had an Ann Balion outfit and she is very short and plump - she looked great!

Luckygirl Sun 07-Feb-16 12:00:59

Try Ann Balon - an Italian make: www.annbalon.com/

They also have lots on ebay. They are quite floaty and good for the fuller figure.

I had one for my DD's wedding - it was a trouser suit with a comfortable floaty top.

Good luck!

WilmaKnickersfit Sun 07-Feb-16 11:52:52

Realgrandad if it was me, I'd post about AgeUK Enterprises Ltd in the 'Other subjects' forum or in this forum ('Ask a Gran'). Depends on whether you're just telling us about something or want to ask a question. smile

Elegran Sun 07-Feb-16 11:44:53

I think the site is so well established under its own name that it woukld take a lot of work and PR stuff to change it now, and cost a liot of money too. Actually, Gran is in Grandad as well as Granny, and Grandparents is a longer and less catchy name, so I am not sure it would be as successful.

There used to be a Grandad's Shed section, or a name like that. What happened to that? Has it fallen into disrepair? It needs a grandad who is willing to fix it.

There are several grandads who post on here, you would probably get replies from them if you started a conversation on a "male" subject.

Elegran Sun 07-Feb-16 11:39:29

Realgrandad I don't think you can have conversations "instead of" other conversations, because some people do want to talk about perfumes and so on. The different threads are grouped under different topics, so it is possible to find things that are more interest to you.

If you click on "forums", up at the top left, you get a list of the topics, and clicking on one of those gets a list of the threads under that topic - so you can avoid the perfume and fashion stuff.

I think a "Bee in my bonnet" thread would be very good and very popular. You should start one.

Realgranddad Sun 07-Feb-16 11:34:37

I am utterly confused by the number of Forums, which should I use to discuss key headlines such as those relating to the behavior and greed of AgeUK Enterprises Ltd.? I would love the site to be renamed Grandparentsnet, so there is no longer a gender oriented impression, perhaps such views are not welcome from those lovely individuals who worked so hard to make the organization such a success. I just feel it would carry even more influence in society if it was seen to cater for grandparents and not just Gran's.

NanaandGrampy Sun 07-Feb-16 11:30:06

Realgrandad you're going to get lost in a post on wedding outfits - why not start a fresh thread and see what feedback you get?

WilmaKnickersfit Sun 07-Feb-16 11:30:05

Realgranddad there's an awful lot more grannies than granddads on here, so maybe you could start a thread or two? One of the things I like about GN is I can discussion 'women's things' here.

There's plenty of discussion on current affairs and often these threads are the longer ones as they get very heated.

'Bee in my bonnet' sounds like a good idea to me, although if there's a lot of replies about a particular 'bee', some posters might prefer a separate thread.

Why not give it a try and see how it goes? smile

Realgranddad Sun 07-Feb-16 11:21:07

Are there too many subjects on the Fourim pages that are no no's for granddaddy like me. Many could be combined to get rid of genderism. Let's have a "Bee in my bonnet ", instead so we can occasionally let off steam on issues of the day, instead of comments on perfume for instance.

Granarchist Fri 08-Jan-16 17:04:10

helmacd - I'm off to Bourne End this weekend - they sounded lovely on the telephone, even when I said I am going to cry and hate shopping!!!

Retrolady Thu 07-Jan-16 11:47:20

Debenhams is brilliant. I also didn't want a mother of the bride(groom in my case) outfit, but something I felt comfortable wearing. They listen to you, ask about your lifestyle, ask about why you are wearing what you are wearing (I was in jeans and t-shirt!) and work with that. Can't praise them too highly. Take someone reliable and honest with you. The main thing is that you should be able to forget your appearance on the day, relax and enjoy it, without feeling "all dressed up." Good luck.

PS 2 stone is nothing that good bra and support pants can't sort out. Debenhams help with that too.

nonnasusie Wed 06-Jan-16 13:17:29

I've read all the comments from everybody with great interest as my DSD is getting married in August and though I am only step mum to the bride I want to look my best!! I too am only 5ft and at least a stone overweight ( the diet starts now) I m hoping to get my outfit in England as clothes here are very expensive and don't fit me well as there are no "petites" available! I can see me going to Boundary Mill or Debenhams a couple of days before the big day in a complete panic!!

harrigran Wed 06-Jan-16 11:55:15

When DS got married I bought two Condici outfits, one a dress and coat and the other a trouser suit. I wore the trouser suit, it was cream with a sleeveless overblouse and a 3/4 floaty Nehru jacket. The outfit also came with a matching floaty scarf. I wore flat cream shoes because I had to be comfortable all day. It was the first time I had worn trousers to a wedding but I did not feel out of place in fact I had a lot of compliments. I should add I wore cream but the bride wore red and gold, I would not have done so if the bride had been in white or cream.
When DD got married I bought a suit the same colour as the accent colour for the wedding, I matched the flowers and SIL's tie smile

Vintagenanna Wed 06-Jan-16 00:46:56

I'm 4ft 9" and at least 2 stone over weight. My daughter got married last year, I was really anxious that the other mother of the bride would look glamorous in her tall shoes and expensive outfit and I'd look short, fat and dumpy! But I went to Boundary Mill and bought a lovely dress, matching Jacket, hat, shoes and bag for under £200. There is plenty of choice from Jacques Vert, Gina Bacconi, Anna Rose and so on. Worth a trip. On the day I felt a fabulous and walked tall! (In a very low heel)
If Boundary Mill is too far there is a lovely Bridal Shop in Astley, Manchester called 'one special day' the lady there is fantastic she has lots of gorgeous outfits all budgets.

Good luck smile

SueDonim Tue 05-Jan-16 23:58:17

My dd1 got married in October. I'm not particularly short, at 5ft 6, but carry a bit of extra weight on my tummy, of which I am very conscious.

I looked in various places for an outfit but loathed all the MOTB outfits as they seemed so frumpy or gaudy, just not me. And the prices, starting at £700!! I ended up in Debenhams and got talking to the lady in the Jacques Vert/Phase Eight department. She gave me a few ideas and when I tried them on, it was very obvious which was The One for me. She was so knowledgable about what suited my height/weight/shape etc. I returned later with my Dd, to get her approval hmm but didn't buy it then as we had to go to her dress fitting. I went back a couple of days later, only to find that everything had 30% off, while the shoes were now half price plus 30% off! My dh was delighted, haha!

My outfit was a knee-length shell-pink lace semi-fitted dress, with sleeves that came about half way down to my elbows. (I was adamant I needed sleeves!), and a satin jacket to go on top. I managed to wear shoes with small heels even though I've had a badly broken leg which has taken me a long time to recover from. I was delighted with my outfit as it felt very comfortable, in fact, I wasn't really aware I was all dressed up, iykwim. So, another recommendation for Debenhams/Jacques Vert from me!

ChocoholicSue Tue 05-Jan-16 21:37:14

Help. Just read JanT8 post. Our DD getting married in March and I thought I was sorted with my Phase Eight dress. I'm 5' 2" and bit over weight but I'm hoping I'll look ok. Not confident as I NEVER wear dresses. Anyway... do I need a different outfit for the evening? This is something that hadn't occurred to me

Thebeeb Tue 05-Jan-16 21:32:19

Phase Eight do some styles that are very forgiving and stretchy. I'm 5" 3" and overweight and they are good for me. Most have no sleeves but they do jackets and shrugs. Staff very helpful and knowledgeable.

Having gone through this for my kids weddings and been lacking in confidence my advice would be "go with your own gut feeling and if you are comfortable it will shine through". No one else bothers and once the day starts you won't have time to either. Enjoy.

Margsus Tue 05-Jan-16 18:56:59

Oops - meant to add this ?

Margsus Tue 05-Jan-16 18:55:24

I'm only 4'10" and big-busted, and I went to Mary's of Enfield for my outfit for DS1's wedding. They recommended a John Charles outfit that I would never have picked out myself, but when I (reluctantly) tried it on, I knew immediately that it was "the one" ! They definitely know their stuff, and on the day I must admit that I felt a million dollars.

Teacher11 Tue 05-Jan-16 18:36:01

Phase Eight? I am five foot one and their stuff looks OK on me when other shops' outfits swamp me.

Also, two stone by April should be do-able. Have two Weetabix, skimmed milk and low cal sweetener for lunch, only snack on fruit and have a small but nice dinner in the evening of a grilled salmon & salad type. Only drink alcohol at the weekends.

Synonymous Tue 05-Jan-16 18:21:19

Granarchist lots of good advice on here. Personal shoppers are so good, they really know their stock and have no preconceived notions about you. I have found it best to make an appointment in advance with a PS as they are increasingly in demand and knowing you have someone waiting for you takes any shopping stress away.
Have a lovely day flowers