Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

Help urgently needed

(63 Posts)
Granarchist Mon 04-Jan-16 14:12:06

Wedding approaching early April. Youngest DD's. I need an outfit that will not disgrace her. I am 5'4" - at least 2 stone overweight and hate - truly hate shopping (I tend to cry). As I have said before, I don't want 'mother of the bride' tattooed on my forehead but do have to match up to elegant, tall mother of the groom. Must have sleeves - at least enough to cover bingo wings. There will be dancing. I have looked at Coast online but nothing sings to me. Cant wear high heels due to knee replacement and arthritic feet - gosh I sound attractive. I want to be comfortable in all senses of the word and to do the children proud.

HildaW Mon 04-Jan-16 14:27:11

You could go down the 'Personal Shopper' route at a large department store. The John Lewis ones are good and other GNetters may be able to recommend other shops.

My other bit of advise is to forget about the 'competition' and find a way to boost your confidence. An extra 2 stone is not a lot in the great scheme of things but perhaps something like a session or two with a 'life coach' or even what I'm doing ( a personal trainer) might help you.
I suddenly realised I was letting my recurring bad back, prolapse and general lack of confidence dictate my life, so on a whim I researched a personal trainer who visits me once a week and has very gently got me exercising and feeling a lot better. No miracle cures....but I stand taller, have dropped a jean size and have a fair bit more energy. My arms are better toned and I can lift the hoover now!

Shopping for that perfect outfit will always be a bit of a holy just need to feel a bit more 'you' and relax and enjoy the day. Good luck.

Ceesnan Mon 04-Jan-16 14:28:43

Have a look at I have found a couple of lovely outfits at very reasonable prices.

Tresco Mon 04-Jan-16 14:57:00

I believe Debenhams also have a personal shopper service. Another idea is to recruit a fashionable youngish person to be your own personal shopper. My daughter did that for a friend of mine and transformed her by suggesting things she'd not had the confidence to try on but that looked great. Sometimes a completely fresh eye can be really helpful.

Anya Mon 04-Jan-16 15:26:56

I was at a wedding last year where the mother of the bride was about 5' 2" and weighed about 14 stone. She normally looks quite stout -- but that day she looked lovely in a long, floaty dress and and a marching longline, floaty jacket with 3/4 length sleeves.

The long dress gave an illusion of height and the floaty jacket covered a multitude of bumps and lumps sins.

She wore a pretty pair of flat shoes and a big hat. No, she didn't look like a standard lamp.

She had the outfit especially made for her after chosing a pattern and material and I don't think it cost that much.

Teetime Mon 04-Jan-16 15:35:23

How about some elegant floaty silk trousers (will cover you feet and look better with flat pumps than heels anyway) and embroidered ethnic style tunic top. East used to be good for this type of thing but I think Box 2 also does some lovely floaty things and you could shop on line and try them on in comfort at home - just send them straight back if you don't like them

rosesarered Mon 04-Jan-16 16:01:18

That sounds a good suggestion teetime

Granarchist Mon 04-Jan-16 17:07:58

Thank you for the floaty suggestions - I bought a Jacques Vert (via personal shopper at Debenhams) many years ago that I would NEVER have taken off the rail - it has done many events, weddings/Henley/racing and has earned its keep many times over - so back to Debenhams it is then! Trousers are out I'm afraid (tho I live in them normally and many people would be amazed to know I have legs!). Just not right for this crowd. I love hats and they do look good on me so that is something (I love the vision of the standard lamp!). I will look at Box 2 as well. Many thanks.

kittylester Mon 04-Jan-16 17:23:44

I think Teetime's advice of floaty trousers is a really good one especially if it is not the norm. I've worn trousers to 4 of my children's wedding because I always do wear trousers and the one time I wore a skirt I felt uncomfortable all the time.

marpau Mon 04-Jan-16 18:51:03

Debenhams personal shopper really did me proud for my sons wedding. You say you will be dancing have you thought of zumba classes which is basically just dancing. Being more toned can change your posture and aid confidence

Imperfect27 Mon 04-Jan-16 18:59:40

Fenwicks worth a try if you have a local one - they stock Country Casuals (CC) also available online and they have a very good service including returns if need be. Lots of elegant floaty things - longline good if you are prepared to wear heels, but could be shortening if not.

As a fellow shorty, I elected for a short cut jacket with a calf-length dress and felt the lines worked well. I also chose a fascinator rather than hat for my daughter's wedding - wore a hat to a niece's wedding a couple of months earlier and kept having the brim knocked up as people stooped to kiss me.

Have fun choosing - do you know bridesmaids colours - nice to tone in.
Good luck x

Joelise Mon 04-Jan-16 19:09:39

Have a look at Kirsten Krog, a Danish designer, she does some lovely floaty numbers. Also Box 2 have some outfits that would look good at a wedding.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 04-Jan-16 20:46:36

"Henley"? Crikey!

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 04-Jan-16 20:47:35

And you shop at Debenhams?!

Greenockgran Mon 04-Jan-16 22:37:15

i use the tuna and pasta diet. Do not eat at all until 4pm and then load your plate with tagliatelli tuna and cottage cheese. it really works because you will not feel hungry until late on in the next day.
(i used it for the 7 years of my internet dating). You will achieve your goal by April. Xx

Indinana Mon 04-Jan-16 22:50:54

I love the sound of the outfit Anya describes - the long floaty dress and matching long floaty jacket. It sounds perfect to me! Much better than trousers, which I think can be very unforgiving around the tummy area, even when teamed with a longline top.

Tresco Mon 04-Jan-16 23:09:14

A word of warning about floaty outfits. They can be a bit of a disaster if the weather is breezy. Seeing a Mother of the Bride trying to fight her way out of a mass of billowing peach chiffon is a sight I'll never forget!

Anya Tue 05-Jan-16 09:07:42

If we allowed for the vagaries of the British weather we'd have a nervous breakdown!

Anya Tue 05-Jan-16 09:08:45

Actually I wasn't thinking of anything that might billow!

adaunas Tue 05-Jan-16 09:47:41

Im the same height and I feel for you, having been the widest of all the parents at my daughter's wedding. I took a friend to help me look and felt wonderful on the day. There are some great suggestions on here.
have some lovely outfits. Might be worth a look

Nvella Tue 05-Jan-16 09:48:53

I used John Lewis's personal shopper for my son's wedding. There were at least 5 outfits she brought out which I thought would never do and they were all brilliant. They are so clever and know their stock so well.

Shrimp Tue 05-Jan-16 09:52:35

Following this thread with interest as I have my DS' wedding in August and have similar problems, except I am even shorter and have huge bust to hip ratio, with emphasis on bust blush.
Found a reasonable dress and jacket in Précis Petite, although I need to find the correct size to try on (being so 'out of proportion' I can never tell whether something will fit or not!).

JennyB Tue 05-Jan-16 09:54:50

Hi Granarchist have a look at they do lovely stuff, they do sales around the country but you can go to them and their designs complement our good points. Happy clothes shopping and don't be persuaded into buying something you don't like, take camera photos and tell salespeople you will then decide at home, unless you fall in love with something that is.

Nana3 Tue 05-Jan-16 10:03:46

There are some lovely things in the sales at House of Fraser, John Lewis and Debenhams.
I buy on line as there is more choice and returns are easy at a post office, and I know what suits me. That's the key I think. Good luck.

J13 Tue 05-Jan-16 10:07:21

Can't beat John Charles. I have bought outfits for three recent Mother of Bride/Groom from eBay recently. People only wear them once.