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How do you fill your time?

(206 Posts)
Sadiesnan Sun 10-Jan-16 18:25:41

I've had a very busy life, what with work and raising children. Now I'm retired I'm finding filling my time difficult. I've never been a craft/hobby sort of person and I'm not into groups where you go and chat. I like talking and discussing things but it has to be something meaningful. I'm not good at small talk. Has anyone got any ideas to help me find something to fill my time. I get down this time of year and I need something to lift my spirits.

HannahLoisLuke Thu 14-Jan-16 14:52:12

What is U3A? I'm a new gransnetter and can't find this in the list of acronyms. Sorry for being thick.

nanakate Thu 14-Jan-16 15:01:25

Hi Sadiesnan,
I'm interested that your local U3A is all about coffee because where I live there are loads of course groups - everything from rambling to philosophy - and some of them are so serious that some people are put off! So clearly they are not the same all over.

I have found some really interesting courses on offer on futurelearn - it's a consortium of universities that presents free online taster courses. I have had a go at fiction-writing, marketing and learning how to read medieval music manuscripts. There are thousands of people all over the world learning on futurelearn, all ages and all walks of life. Definitely worth a look.

nanakate Thu 14-Jan-16 15:03:19

U3A is the University of the Third Age, a voluntary network of people who offer courses to small groups of fellow over-60s, sometimes in their own homes. u3a.org.uk/

Conni7 Thu 14-Jan-16 15:18:45

There are 87 groups within our U3A, and I belong to 4: Computer Users, Gardening, Collecting and Ambling. If you can't find a group which interests you, you can start one yourself. Our annual fee is £10 for new members and £8 for existing members, which hardly breaks the bank. People are retired or semi-retired, and all very pleasant and welcoming. If you Google U3A, you should be able to find one near to you. Give it a try - it changed my life.

Mariamha968 Thu 14-Jan-16 15:19:56

I practice Tai Chi...and read políticas thrillers...(the latter because I was -before retirement- a teacher in polítical science in the University and those novels written by excellent authors approach me to a real world..more than any factual information one acquires from journalists.

Sadiesnan Thu 14-Jan-16 16:01:34

There are two U3A near me. I tried one and it was very, lets go for coffee and chat, orientated. The other one has lots of groups but nothing that grabbed me.

I'll report back on Probus and Townswomen's Guilds. The latter really interests me as they look at issues such as FGM, human trafficking, domestic abuse and safeguarding children. The latter two were very much part of my job before I retired.

Jaxie Thu 14-Jan-16 16:07:05

MOnica, Good grief you're smug aren't you? I agree with Sadiesnan.

Sadiesnan Thu 14-Jan-16 16:16:36

I've just re-read what she posted, yes smug is the word grin

annifrance Thu 14-Jan-16 16:17:43

Working and so called retirement seems to have blended to the point I wish every day was longer! The absolute bliss of not having to be anywhere at any particular time or do the school run is what puts me off voluntary work. I am fortunate in that I live in the south of France, back of beyond but a lot of English here so I have had to be careful as ex-pat life can be cliquey. However I have made some wonderful new friends here and spin offs have been a thriving book group (not having to get up means I can luxuriate in bed with a good book most mornings) and discussion group.

Having taken on a ruin and a wilderness means I have always got on going projects with the buildings and gardens. Walking in the hills around us with the dogs is bliss, lazing by the pool in summer is just wonderful. We have a gite so often have company and often really lovely people so lots of aperos and bbqs, which means I get to do a lot of cooking which I love, especially as a lot of the ingredients I have grown.

I do a lot of crafty stuff, have formed an enterprise for this with one of my students who comes to me for sewing lessons, along with a male retired Nato colonel who is brilliant, so the conversations are good too! I did go to watercolour classes to improve my French and loved them, but it did nothing for my French as everyone was concentrating so hard!

I love to go back to England to see many old friends and of course my wonderful children and grandchildren, but am always so glad to get back to France. So the bottom line is move to an out of the way part of the south of France and yes they do exist, but I shan't tell you where as we might get invaded with yet more expats. And I wouldn't be without the amazing French health service, am only as healthy and active as I am due to this.

Sadiesnan, good luck and enjoy, I am sure you will find an outlet for your talents and energy that just slots into place at the right time.

sue42 Thu 14-Jan-16 16:18:43

Sorry I meant to say I am never bored, fed up maybe but not bored!!!

When I first realised that life wasn't as expected I found NADFAS a good place where I was only away from home for 2 hours, lectures about fine art etc, being able to see and be told about items I now would never be able to go and see. I hope you understand what I mean. So Sadiesnan have a good look around. Good luck

Carolespr Thu 14-Jan-16 16:53:58

I have a huge garden which takes a lot of my time, I have had a half-day voluntary job since I retired, I'm a member of my local over-60's Club (for which I run their raffles), and my hobby is entering competitions. I spend a couple of hours a day on my computer doing the competitions and engaging with my family and friends on social media. Then there are holidays and days out, so I barely have enough time to do my daily chores! I would recommend anyone retiring to look into what voluntary work there is locally, and to also consider joining a local club of some sort.

PPP Thu 14-Jan-16 17:10:13

I sympathise with Sadiesnan. I had a demanding, full time, professional job and had raised two children. I felt that I had made my contribution to society. I had always been 'worthy' and didn't want to get any more academic qualifications. I decided to be quite frivolous!

The best thing about being retired is being able to stay in bed, the have a leisurely breakfast and coffee and read the paper.

If you can afford it, I would recommend spending winter months in the sun. Not holidaying, but living somewhere where you relate to the locals, look after a property, shop, make new friends etc etc

At first, I needed to write and I went on creative writing courses and ended up writing poetry! I have always liked making things, so embarked on ceramics and going to classes gets you meeting people without just having to sit and listen and chat. I also started knitting and sewing again. Once you embark on Pinterest there is no going back.

'Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think'. All the best.

granjules Thu 14-Jan-16 17:18:57

Why not join a choir- mixed voices or ladies only?

TreadSoftly Thu 14-Jan-16 17:19:55

This is the first time I have written a message on Gransnet but I was really fascinated by all the previous posts on this thread. The kinds of advice and the smugness of some. I think for me (retired for almost 15 years) what do with my time is a never ending problem, sometimes I feel Ok and other times lonely and bored. Everyone is different of course and we need to find out anew at our great ages what we enjoy doing which is difficult. I have done art courses. I am quite good but often go for months with no inspiration at all. Recently I found two others who like to go sketching and we do that every week, mostly in some indoor place recently.
The most rewarding thing has been working with asylum seekers, at a drop-in centre and teaching English. This would only be possible in a large town.
Last year, about this time, I felt worried again about loneliness and set myself the task of finding out about all the things laid on for older people in my close neighbourhood. Not many did I want to do, like U3A (no good for some reason) but brought me in contact with all sorts of people and now I am on two committees deciding what should be laid on for older people, not really what I intended.

Cher53 Thu 14-Jan-16 17:39:59

Where I live and it is a large town, I knew people who were in various clubs U3A, art clubs etc and to be honest the way they spoke about them made me wonder why they went in the first place? I do realise everywhere is different, so do not go by what I say here. I have to be honest though and say the lady I knew that went to these clubs and she was in MANY, did nothing but bi**h and moan about the people that attended. If it wasn't that it was all arguing and falling out, as someone wanted to do or talk about this and other folk didn't want it. People were not happy as so and so did this and it wasn't their place. I honestly got fed up listening and decided that clubs full of retired people were not for me. Before anyone jumps on me for that comment, I find the 60 odd plus age group just never seem to be happy with anything and the carry-on regarding seats is unreal. They MUST have such and a seat or the world ends......
I am sorry I do not mean to offend anyone on here and especially not over 60 age group. I have known many people 60 and over who are absolute gems. It just seemed to have been my bad luck that the folk I knew who attended the clubs in my area were just not very nice. The comment regarding seats is my own experience with older people where I worked.

Sadiesnan Thu 14-Jan-16 17:41:17

Thank you for the lovely comments and really helpful posts flowers

Leticia Thu 14-Jan-16 18:25:19

Glad you are sorted Sadiesnan.
Just to say that you have the wrong end of the stick if you think the U3A is 'learning things from amateurs' revitt.
For those who don't like small talk you can volunteer for any type of job going and many don't require any small talk. The choice is huge.

MammaN Thu 14-Jan-16 18:59:48

Before I retired I was very concerned about what I would do with myself. I had always struggled when not working. I'm no 'housewife' - not a job I enjoy or am particularly good at. Also, when you've done everything alongside work all your life, why would you do it any differently when you retired? I found I still squashed housework into the smallest amount of time. First year was tricky then I decided something had to happen so I presented myself at a local charity office and offered my services. They were very happy for me to help in the office - just a few hours a week - but this led to helping in many fundraising events which meant I travelled about a bit as well. The office moved away a couple of years ago but by then I'd found other things and the real change was when a new U3A opened in the area. I went on the steering committee, then the executive committee and spent many months on a very steep learning curve. I also joined Bridge, Board Games - Mahjong and Scrabble, iPad Group and a walking group. I have begun tai chi and am about to begin yoga again after several years gap having hurt my back. My husband thinks I've left home!

Jaxie Thu 14-Jan-16 19:15:06

MOnica is a pain. Madame je sais tout.

EmilyHarburn Thu 14-Jan-16 20:09:20

Sadiesnan you have done so well. The photo blog sounds like a great project. There are a whole community of people on the internet who do these.

Example
"Blipfoto is a great community of like-minded individuals, from all walks of life, using all types of equipment. To someone thinking about taking on a 365 project I would say do it! Don't hesitate, or you won't do it. Throw yourself into blipping with total enthusiasm."

"Not only has Blipfoto increased my enthusiasm still further for photography, but it has introduced me to a wonderful community of photographers. I look harder, see better and feel rejuvenated photographically. Only by looking at other photographers work can we ever learn to see in different ways, to be inspired and to truly enjoy sharing our craft and our knowledge."
www.lakelandphotohols.com/blog/item/photographer-records-two-years-of-his-life-with-blipfoto

Do hope you have a lovely, extraordinary, eventfull, satisfying and positive year.

Sadiesnan Thu 14-Jan-16 20:11:21

Thanks so much for the really lovely post EmilyHarburn and the link xx

ellenemery Thu 14-Jan-16 20:25:25

A short time ago a group of people got together to offer their time to local people who needed a hand. It covered everything from collecting prescriptions, from the GP or chemist, going to the library, doing some shopping or even just having a cuppa with an elderly person. I know you say you do not like to talk but some of the elderly are quite grateful for someone to be there.

The library is quite a good focal point as well. We live in a small town but there is allsorts of things going on. One morning a month there is a scrabble club. One Friday afternoon a month they have a visitor for a talk on a variety of subjects, not expensive I think it is £2 including tea and biscuits. They also have a jigsaw table so if you are interested you can just drop in and add a few pieces to the puzzle. They now keep a current stock of monthly magazines to read along with a little coffee machine so you can sit and read but be in a different environment.

Hope you find something that you enjoy.

Jalima Thu 14-Jan-16 20:26:47

Sadiesnan I'll report back on Probus and Townswomen's Guilds.

I thought Probus was just for men? DH belongs (we are invited on trips with them, very kind of them, but enjoyable nonetheless!!) I belong to TWG and enjoy it, NWR may give an opportunity to explore some of the topics you mention in your post above and discuss them with a smaller group of women.

Jalima Thu 14-Jan-16 20:28:56

Of course, it all depends on where you live too, we have a very active TWG but our two nearest and larger towns don't have branches. If you live near a large town or city with good buses then you will, of course, have a lot more choice of activities.

annsixty Thu 14-Jan-16 20:33:21

Hands off M0nica she speaks her mind like many others on here. And I know she doesn't need me to defend her,I just wanted to.