I look older than I feel

The mirror I use to do my makeup must be quite flattering although i don't wear much eye makeup - no eyelashes to speak of and it makes my eyes run anyway!, It is only when I get away from it I catch sight of a haggard old woman plodding along. And I really hate seeing photos of myself; the medication I am on causes odoema so my eyes are puffy.
With a couple of professional photographers in the family I have been told how to angle my head and how to stand for the most flattering pose, but seem unable to manage it and, after exasperation followed by giggles, they have given up on me. They tell me I look 'lovely' but I know I don't.

Photoshopping? Soft focus lens?

Oh I'm the guilty party in this . I'm a bit of an amateurr photographer and most of my world is viewed through a lens !

I used to just point and shoot but now I'm much more aware of the 'background'. So although I take ad hoc pictures of the children inevitably adults are in the pictures too.

You could ask your SiL to 'crop' you out of the pictures? If you really hate them.

Or set up one picture where you know you'll look at your best and get him to upload only that one of you.

Some of my best pictures are of the interaction between adults and children and to be honest people hardly notice the adult. No comfort I'm sure but these are pictures your children and grandchildren WILL cherish of you in years to come x

I well remember the first time I looked in a magnifying mirror, it was horrible. I was about 50. I still look in one occasionally and don't mind now as I'm 70 this year.

The problem with photography these days is the speed of the camera compared to the old days when you had to stand still and pose.

Wrinkles show you have laughed.
Grey hair shows you have cared.
Scars show you have lived.

This sort of cheers me up.

Not quite the same problem ,as in real life I am told I look a lot younger than my 65 years and I think I probably do -my skin is good and relatively unwrinkled and my hair is 'still'dark brown,with help..And I do wear what I believe to be discreet, flattering make up .I still have long eyelashes too (not a boast just a fact).And my (brutally honest) daughters tell me I'm 'really pretty'(they are kind enough not to add the rider 'for my age').
But I have never photographed well , even in youth ,and I now really hate pictures of myself, to the extent I will go to any lengths to avoid anyone taking them . Just as well I've always been the family photographer so there aren't many ..Perhaps it's to do with face shape?
I do have one taken by DD1 on my 65th birthday which I quite like.I am all dressed up (for the opera !) Its slightly and unintentionally soft focus. I can't use It for the next 15 years though can I ?Am just resigned .At least when old friends see me in real life they will be pleasantly surprised after some of the pics on Face Book
i wouldn't dye your hair OP Wish I'd never started and seriously considering biting the bullet and letting it go silver .

Someone once told me we dont like pics of ourselves as we look in a mirror and camera shoes us pics of how we really are ?

I find it very unnerving to look in a mirror and it is my Grandma looking back haha !!

downto earth you obviously enjoy life so bother the photos, go out sideways, glass in hand saying 'wow what a ride'.

My OH is always taking shots of me and invariably I look like some manic, aged twit!

Just to say, rather than dying hair yourself it would be good to find a really good hairdresser and have a consultation with them about style and colour then, if you like them, go for it. I think it's really worth paying as much as you can for professional hair cut and colour, as your hair is with you all the time. I get my brows as well as lashes tinted regularly too.
Not sure if you're happy with your current moisturisers etc but can really recommend Clarins and Sarah Chapman serums and moisturisers for 'mature' skin.

I have huge bags under one eye and look bloody awful! Mind you, I must be the most unphotogenic person in the world anyway, I have always looked appalling, though my mirror some days makes me look half way reasonable. Wonder why that is?

If you think photos are cruel, what about Facetime - argh!

Just a thought, have you had a thyroid function test? About 10 years ago I was bemoaning similar symptoms to the nurse when having my annual well woman check up and she decided to carry out a blood test and sure enough I had an underactive thyroid. 1 pill a day and I am back to normal and told I don't look my age.

I'm terribly unphotogenic and can usually be relied upon to ruin a family photo by my jowly, gurning presence. I occasionally get a good snap but that is never the one they put on Facebook. I was once moaning to a friend about how unfair it is that some people are really photogenic and his reply was "Yes, Maggie, they are the good-looking people"

Anyone, no matter how young and beautiful, can look dreadful in a photograph, inishowen - just think of the ones that appear in "celebrity" magazines! I'm sure you look much better than you think.

I once read that when you get old, looking in the mirror is like looking at a stranger. Personally, the older I get, the more I see my mum looking back at me. This is actually quite comforting.

I need to renew my passport. I went to a photo booth and by mistake it printed out the photo of an old lady. Alas it was indeed me. How can I have aged so much in ten years? The eye bags, the wrinkles.........
I am going to a professional photographer now as I have my pride.
The first photo is in the bin.

Jayh

My passport is due for renewal and I'm glad, because over the last couple of years every visit through passport control has involved someone peering intently at me, then at the photo, then back at me, occasionally calling over a colleague to do the same, brows being furrowed suspiciously, me being reluctantly allowed through.... The automatic recognition software won't acknowledge me at all. Okay, I get it, I'm 10 years older!

Oh, you've all made me feel (a bit) better. I thought it was just me because everyone I see who is about my age just seems to look so much better. I hate those unexpected photos, I've told my lot not to post anything too awful. Inishowen, why don't you go to your local Boots or somewhere that sells cosmetics to give you a few tips or a makeover, might give you a few ideas. It's nice to give something different a try. Good luck and...have fun, that's what life is for.

I look awful in a photograph I try to avoid them I think it's made worse because the celebrities are all airbrushed so you tend to think you should look better for your age.

NanKate I have liked the videos too - finding out that we need to highlight in different places as we get older and tips to make eyelashes look fuller - very helpful.

A couple of other thoughts inishowen. I think we go through phases when we suddenly seem to age and then stay there for years. Also look back at the photos of yourself when you were younger - I bet you didn't like those either; I certainly didn't but when I look now they seem more than OK.

Last thing - and I say this to everyone as I am quite evangelical - if you have any tiredness ask for a blood test to check your thyroid. I went to the doctors thinking I knew what was the matter with me as did he but he did the blood test not expecting to get anything back. I still have very little body hair (not complaining about that) but my eyebrows have thickened, my skin looks better, my hair is thicker (although that may be because feeling better I had a better cut) and my digestion has improved so I am loosing weight - very slowly - and loosing puffiness which feels more important. I really wish they did regular thyroid test as problems are quite common in women of a certain age

Oh aren't we a self critical lot, I'm sure you're all beautiful on the inside, which is where it counts.
I've always had fine, very straight dark hair that never held a style, a few years ago I started getting hi lights as I thought the dark colour wasn't flattering - I think our complexion changes as we get older. Last year my hairdresser almost made me blonde and after the shock I got to like it. It's made my hair coarser and it holds a style much better and I've never had so many compliments.
Thanks to lovely Gransnetters I've also started wearing jeggings, with long tops as you advised, and ankle boots with a little heel, and again I've been getting compliments. I usually wear patterned tops as they seem to disguise my bulges more and I found some with a really flattering shape at M&S.
I gave up on make up years ago, as someone else mentioned my eyes water a lot so eye make up is a no no - even though I know it would make me look better. I wear glasses all the time so I'm not sure if anyone can actually see my eyebrows.
One thing I would change is the awful veins on the back of my legs, not bulging or anything, just a lot of them and unsightly and makes me self conscious in a swimming costume, as well as the bulges of course, but at least my veins aren't likely to feature in a FB photo!

My daughter has to apologise all the time for the unflattering photos she posts on FB or displays on her fridge! I hate them! It's horrible to think that if she doesn't notice how bad they are, that must be what I look like! However, some aspects of your appearance can be changed. For years I told myself that I'd never had a waist, I was always a boyish shape and that my curved upper back (read hump!) was a postural fault inherited from my mother. Not true! I lost weight and now have a waist and no hump. Make up helps too. The tutorials on GN are extremely helpful. Another excellent thing is to go for a personal shopper experience in a department store. Those girls/ladies really know their stuff. Tell them you just want to look better. It's free and there is no obligation to buy. Make sure your hair looks good. Try on everything they bring to show you. Take decent shoes and wear tights. Finally, train yourself to stand tall and hold your head up. Defy gravity.

This is such a reassuring thread - it's not just me that sees my mother in the mirror, or a reflection in a shop window of some hunched up old lady that turns out to be ME.

Last of all, get checked for thyroid deficiency.

We need a comment from thatbags on here. I'm sure she doesn't have any age related hang ups. Tho' I think she's still quite young(er)

Cagsy - I haven't worn jeans, only trousers, for several years, due not so much to increased age as to increased size. I recently bought jeggings in the M&S sale thinking ' I can always take them back'. I found them so warm, comfortable, and stretchy that I'm wearing them a lot, only at home at first.
To my surprise when I wore them to visit my oldest grandson commented, unasked, that they looked good on me and his girlfriend agreed. I agree that tunic tops are best with them.