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I look older than I feel

(86 Posts)
inishowen Fri 19-Feb-16 11:32:55

My son is always snapping pictures of his children, and often I'm caught unawares in the background. I look awful! I'm 63 and feel like I have aged a lot in the last few years. My hair is thin and white. Yes I will dye it this weekend. I've put on weight all around my stomach. My eyelashes have almost disappeared. I've done Pilates for the last 20 years, yet my posture is bad when caught on photographs. I need a boost, a bit of advice how not to look older than I am.

Luckygirl Fri 19-Feb-16 11:59:01

People always look grotty on photos - I look ghastly, but in real life I am stunningly beautiful - honest! grin

Seriously the camera can be very cruel - I speak as an ex-photographer. Don't give another thought to it! It is a huge challenge to make people look as they see themselves when doing a portrait. Just be who you are; and be cheerful - that way no-one will care a jot how you look.

NanKate Fri 19-Feb-16 12:10:09

Don't worry, help is at hand.

I have been watching and copying come of the beauty videos on Gransnet, and feel I have improved my make-up skills.

Be careful if you do dye your hair as this will not return you to your earlier looks. I think grey/white/silver hair looks fab. Think of Judi Dench or Helen Mirren. I bought myself a backcombing brush for £2.75 from Boots and my think hair looks loads better now.

Get yourself some nice long scarves (plenty in the charity shops) and drape them over your weightier bits. If you see Kirsty on Location Location she has hidden her stomach for years with stylish scarves.

Finally I had my eyebrows plucked professionally and now I can keep them tidy myself and I use brown eyeshadow and a little wedgy brush I bought at Superdrug to fill in the missing bits. IMO a good set of eyebrows can really set your face off well.

Best of luck.

inishowen Fri 19-Feb-16 12:20:11

Thanks girls. I feel better already. I do get my eyebrows done at the beauty salon, but it's my eyelashes that have gone sparse. I will take advice and wear the long scarves to hide my bumby bits. (Very large boobs are also a problem) I just wish my son would stop posting photos on Facebook. I'm sure he doesn't even notice me in the background though! It's time to make an effort and reinvent myself.

Nonnie Fri 19-Feb-16 12:25:18

Large boobs would be a bonus I should think, clothes could hang from them and disguise the spare tyre!

Just wear what you think suits you and then don't worry about it. I am not so sure anyone is looking at me anyway and if my gc love me as I am that is all that matters.

J52 Fri 19-Feb-16 12:31:44

Inishowen, I think you have put onto words what many of us feel!
I always feel much older and wrinkly when in photos with the DGCs! It's the contrast in their beautiful peachy skins.

I think have a decent bra does wonders for ones shape and posture.


downtoearth Fri 19-Feb-16 19:57:27

where do I start ..sigh ..and my darling son has posted a most unflattering view of me having imbibed of the falling down juice at a party,and I appear to be cuddling my toilet,which many have commented is sparkly clean and shiny blush

downtoearth Fri 19-Feb-16 20:01:37

And I was wearing my supporting bra and my eyebrows where not visible in this position ..was all wasted as my shape and posture was not visible ,clearly not my finest hour ..

bookdreamer Fri 19-Feb-16 20:06:00

I'm going through the this at the moment having had some photos taken for visa and passport. I look old and haggard. And that is not what I feel like.

My daughter posted a picture of me on Facebook over Christmas and I looked awful on that too. She kindly told me "but that's how you look"!

I've been looking at the make up videos on and they are great. Was doing everything wrong!

Won't make any difference to how I am but it will make me feel better.

Ana Fri 19-Feb-16 20:07:35

Oh, downtoearth, how mean of him! grin

rosesarered Fri 19-Feb-16 20:10:13

Perhaps we should try not to look in mirrors anymore??

Ana Fri 19-Feb-16 20:12:15

I'm actually quite horrified at how much I seem to have aged in the past few years, natural ageing I expect plus the traumas of serious illness and bereavement.

I tend to avoid mirrors these days, whereas in my younger years I was always checking on my appearance.

A good primer makes quite a difference, I use the Boots one but more and more are coming out all the time, some of them tinted.

downtoearth Fri 19-Feb-16 20:22:01

I have come to terms with the fact I am an old hag sad

Deedaa Fri 19-Feb-16 20:59:13

A friend who hasn't seen me for 16 years saw a recent photo of me with the grandsons. Her comment was that I hadn't changed a bit. I don't know whether to be pleased that I haven't noticeably aged over the last 16 years, or to be appalled that she thought I looked so ancient when she last saw me confused

Greenfinch Fri 19-Feb-16 21:32:46

Deedaa you definitely do not look your age. I am sure you look the same now as you did then.

Greyduster Sat 20-Feb-16 20:22:08

roses I agree about the mirrors. I felt quite good about myself today until I caught a glimpse of myself mirrored in the double oven and thought
'who is that hunched little old woman who has shambled her way into my kitchen?' But, sadly, it was me. I have always stayed away from cameras too.

annsixty Sat 20-Feb-16 21:26:47

We are alive, we are active and involved in our and our children and GC lives. We are fully into IT to keep us up to date. So we look our age!!, be grateful for what we do have and forget what we don't have. We are the lucky ones. A century ago we would have been in the worst war the world has known. Have I made you feel better?

Falconbird Sat 20-Feb-16 21:26:50

Dyeing thinning hair isn't always a good thing. You might like to try a thickening lotion and shampoos for grey/white hair.

Work out which colours suit you. Take a few selfies if you've got a Smartphone.

Hoop earrings look nice and pretty necklaces, long ones are best as they draw attention away from the face.

Subtle eye make up is another idea, maybe foundation and some mascara.

You could have a lot of fun working out how to look younger in photos.

I think when mums and dads are taking photos of the children they concentrate on the children and not on Gran. I've learnt to adjust my posture when the camera is about.

absent Sun 21-Feb-16 05:11:48

i've always looked completely ridiculous in just about photograph of me that has ever been taken. I try to avoid cameras, but if someone does snap me, then what the hell – I've always looked ridiculous so age plays no part.

mumofmadboys Sun 21-Feb-16 05:24:04

A good haircut may help.

Marelli Sun 21-Feb-16 06:54:12

My face has fallen! I hadn't realised until I went to the hairdresser to get a good bit cut off. I'd been cutting it myself over the past couple of years, but as it had reached below my shoulder-blades, I thought I'd nip along and get it cut properly.
It must've been the sitting down in front of a mirror that made my face settle down a bit further, giving me 'sort of' jowls shock.
I always look terrible in photos, even when I try and pose for them, anyway.

Falconbird Sun 21-Feb-16 07:34:11

Anyone over 55 can look a bit jowly at the hairdressers. I used to have blonde low lights with the cap where they pull your hair through. I looked like some sort of elderly alien in the mirror. smile

Anya Sun 21-Feb-16 07:44:03

The camera can be cruel. After all it only catches a moment in time and in reality our faces are constantly moving with different expressions. Try to consciously smile a bit more so that in RL you look happier. I think sometimes as we age, get older, more tired, we can look a bit miserable, even if we don't feel like that (though perhaps sometimes we do).

A happy, smiley face, no matter how old, always looks better.

kittylester Sun 21-Feb-16 08:30:19

Faces dropping mean that the cheekbones stand out more so accentuate them.

Welshwife Sun 21-Feb-16 08:50:20

I never look in a magnifying mirror unless I feel very strong and brace myself! grin