Over eager ?

I think you need to remind, by asking if it's still on. And of course that you've been looking forward to it. Maybe she's just assumed that she's asked and you've said yes, but I would need to know whether I was expected to go over there, have him at yours etc. You say she said she only "might" need you, but if she no longer does then she should have told you. Best of luck with it. Do let us know.

Been there, done that, got the tee-shirt. It is difficult treading on egg shells, they break very easily. you want to be helpful but not interfering. As I see it, you can phone/text your DiL and ask if you will be needed, as you realise that it is the holidays/ her night out and you would need to be prepared, if DGS is staying overnight. Or speak to your son if that is easier. Leaving it to DiL may give her the impression you are sulking over the way you were spoken to. However what ever you do may be taken out of context. Lets face it some times we grandparents can't win however much we try.

Keep it simple and just a short 'do you still need me?' text/call.

I think if it was me I'd send a quick text and say - such and such date is coming up ,Im hoping you still need me to babysit? I noticed it was half term - would it make it easier for you if I had him from xxx to xxx? Just let me know , Im looking forward to it.

and see what she says?

"Do you still need me? - I am free and happy to help" - or it sounds as though you have something else to do and want to know if your dairy is clear for that day.

Don't do what I did in response to question over whether was having childern, replied 'What Children!!'

Thanks to all for your responses and grannylyn65, I had to laugh! I text DIL after reading your responses, and had a very nice and almost immediate text back, saying yes she did still need me if that was ok, and had only realised over the weekend that nursery would be closed, and was trying to get time off work etc ( it's a fairly recent return to work, first hols encountered).Could I pencil in part of the day if that was ok, and have a chat about both later? Phew! I had got myself into a bit of a 2 n 8 about it, but it's better to be amicable and sort these things if you can,you all seem to agree? Hard to pin son down, and he doesn't make definite arrangements before speaking to DIL , and quite right, she is his wife. Feeling better about things, and I did use ' do you still need me, happy to help' in my text. Like old age, being a gran is not all I thought it would be......!!

It doesn't hurt for our families to know that we have a life of our own too. Although I would drop anything except hospital visit to help them. And they know it! My DDiL always seems careful about asking. But my son doesn't. He knows he can rely on us. So sometimes I suppose our DDiLs tread on eggshells too.

Totally agree with Tanith - keep it simple 'do you still need me?' And if the answer is 'no' then reply 'no problem '

That's what I do anyway. Though often it's the other way round - I've forgotten I'm having the little dears until I get a text from one or the other saying 'you still on for Saturday?'

Sorry ....missed your post opeless (it as on next page)

Glad it's all sorted.

That's so good opeless. Enjoy the time with your GS !

So familiar Opeless. That's my tactic now and it works most of the time. Have concluded the eggshells are shared with DDIL and just make it as easy for us both as I can. Pleased it worked out, have fun.

My DDIL knows me only too well and always confirms arrangements!!!!