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What is a 'typical ' boy?

(235 Posts)
oldgoose Thu 18-Aug-16 17:48:59

To my mind a typical boy is quite physical, on the go a lot, likes the odd playfight, enjoys football, running around and maybe riding his bike. My friends grandsons burst into the room, jump all over her and then start to fight each other.
My Grandson is 10 and he is very quiet. He is gentle and kind and has 3 friends who are slightly 'nerdy' but also enjoy football and are loud when they want to be. My Grandson likes computers, reading, and collects stationery, he has more than they have in WH Smith. Close friends and family are all beginning to say that he is gay. That dosn't matter a jot, but should we put labels on children quite so early? My Grand-daughters on the other hand are both tomboys, love to play football, climb and pretend to be super -heroes, but no-one has said that they might be gay. I feel sorry for my Grandson because people expect him to be different and don't seem to understand that he needs to be himself. Has anyone else had this with their own children or grandchildren?

Penstemmon Mon 22-Aug-16 09:38:28

LumpySpacedPrincess I agree that sexism/racism/ homophobia is not a spectrum! Tolerate it as 'a bit of a joke /banter' and that is how we give space to those who will go to extremes. Please note I am not accusing anyone on here of extreme behaviour.
BUT because nobody challenged the unasked for hug/ squeeze/peck on the cheek etc etc. and said it was just lighthearted fun so a minority of (mostly) men felt this gave them carte blanche to take things to the level of serious abuse.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Aug-16 09:37:16

They are hot on any subject covered by law. (I haven't read all of the thread, or what remains of it. Only guessing)

obieone Mon 22-Aug-16 09:34:02

Yes!!!!!!!!! grin!!!!!!!!

obieone Mon 22-Aug-16 09:33:11

Is it "hotter" about some subjects than others, do you think?

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Aug-16 09:31:13

grin Shall we all have a catch-up pause obi ? grin

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Aug-16 09:29:54

Just bear in mind that first and foremost in HQ's collective little mind, is protecting the site from a legal point of view. (Think about it)

obieone Mon 22-Aug-16 09:28:51

The last two posts before mine!

obieone Mon 22-Aug-16 09:28:01

My post was in response to merlotgran, and I hadnt seen the last two posts.

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Aug-16 09:27:51

(That was supposed to follow Elegran's post hmm) (far too much talking going on round here. grumble grumble...)

jinglbellsfrocks Mon 22-Aug-16 09:26:00

(Everyone rushes off to read the 'Things you don't see anymore thread')

obieone Mon 22-Aug-16 09:24:37

Often they dont.
GandTea himself chose to make it known after a while who he was, when he changed to this name.

GandTea, I would hope that GNHQ give you an explanation today.

I cant think that there are many gransnetters who want you to leave, and not over something of this nature either. flowers

LumpySpacedPrincess Mon 22-Aug-16 09:23:37

On MN we have a flounces corner, do you have one here? grin

Is one persons view of what warrents being called sexism different to another's. Some may find a comment downright sexism another person may find it banter or speaking truthfully. Usually it easy to assess the context by having an understanding of the person accused /using supposed sexist remarks. I disagree with this, in this situation someone is ussually being sexist or homophobic, when it's pointed out they say it's "just banter" when it isn't, it's offensive. It's the reason so many women are harassed in the workplace, because of banter. Just stop it, it's really not hard not to be offensive. I can get through whole years without being sexist, racist or homophobic.

Elegran Mon 22-Aug-16 09:21:29

As one who has actually read G&T's deleted posts and found them ill-advised but not abusive, (and not breaking GN guidelines, which I consulted specially to check), I would not have expected such nasty comments from some of you posters. It reads like a pack of wild dogs turning on one of their number to savage them to death. I am surprised because some of them are from posters I had previously considered to have a similar mindset to my own to the gradations from levity to outrageousness.

You might consider the fact that if all posters with individuality were excluded, the forum would become a mass of beige, with grey highlights, no flashes of colour anywhere to raise the spirits. I could probably list a dozen who are not always PC but whose presence gives the "diversity" that GN needs.

I would concentrate my attention on a more potent source of abusive and sexist posts not a hundred miles away, allied to a most unpleasant and self-congratulatory cock-crowing over the vanquishing of a competitor. Anyone whose response to the "Things I've not seen for a while", thread was "My willy" is in no position to assume the moral high ground. G&T with all his faults would not have posted anything so crude and infantile.

merlotgran Sun 21-Aug-16 23:25:59

Especially as when you come back on with a different username everyone knows who you are.

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 21-Aug-16 23:08:15

Can I just say (very quietly) that if any poster decides to leave GN ("flounce") it is much more stylish to quietly fade away without mentioning it beforehand.

jinglbellsfrocks Sun 21-Aug-16 23:05:52

Quoting TriciaF "A man I used to know reckoned that most boys go through a period of gender confusion when they reach puberty. Then they could go either way, depending on the people they happen to meet."

I agree with that and, if the girls' boarding school I attended was anything to go by, it does apply to girls too. It is why I think it would be unwise to lower the age of consent.

POGS Sun 21-Aug-16 22:58:26

21.36

" There are probably some charming grandfathers on this forum but I never seem to meet them. Pity"

I have and there are, were!

POGS Sun 21-Aug-16 22:53:00

21.49

Good Lord what horrible descriptions.

Not having read ' all ' of the posts that have been deleted all I can say is if those words were used in reference to another poster I am not surprised upset has been caused.

Is one persons view of what warrents being called sexism different to another's. Some may find a comment downright sexism another person may find it banter or speaking truthfully. Usually it easy to assess the context by having an understanding of the person accused /using supposed sexist remarks.

As for Gandtea I would never attribute any one of those of those words at him and I hope that wasn't the case.

Dicky Sun 21-Aug-16 21:58:24

Penstemmon, now you are splitting hairs.

This is getting boring, time to find another subject.

Greenfinch Sun 21-Aug-16 21:50:26

Then they often return with another username.

Penstemmon Sun 21-Aug-16 21:49:27

No Dicky please do not take phrases out of context to create a different emphasis. What I said was

It made me feel that if I met him I would find him either deliberately provocative, insensitive or a rather bigoted/ignorant person.

not that he was any of these things.

Penstemmon Sun 21-Aug-16 21:43:25

From the Urban Dictionary: Flounce v. flounce, flounced, flounc•ing, - To leave an internet group or thread with exaggerated drama;

merlotgran Sun 21-Aug-16 21:42:57

My thoughts, exactly, JessM

We can all spot the wooden spoon.

It's so predictable....and tedious.

Dicky Sun 21-Aug-16 21:41:32

Jess, you've got me, I'm a grandfather.

Dicky Sun 21-Aug-16 21:37:35

Message deleted by Gransnet. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.