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What is a 'typical ' boy?

(235 Posts)
oldgoose Thu 18-Aug-16 17:48:59

To my mind a typical boy is quite physical, on the go a lot, likes the odd playfight, enjoys football, running around and maybe riding his bike. My friends grandsons burst into the room, jump all over her and then start to fight each other.
My Grandson is 10 and he is very quiet. He is gentle and kind and has 3 friends who are slightly 'nerdy' but also enjoy football and are loud when they want to be. My Grandson likes computers, reading, and collects stationery, he has more than they have in WH Smith. Close friends and family are all beginning to say that he is gay. That dosn't matter a jot, but should we put labels on children quite so early? My Grand-daughters on the other hand are both tomboys, love to play football, climb and pretend to be super -heroes, but no-one has said that they might be gay. I feel sorry for my Grandson because people expect him to be different and don't seem to understand that he needs to be himself. Has anyone else had this with their own children or grandchildren?

PPP Fri 19-Aug-16 08:58:24

My son was not a 'typical' boy. He didn't like sport at school and was happy being at home with his Lego, his books and his computer. He didn't get bullied because he was personable and very tall so the bullies thought twice about having a go.

Fortunately, in his year at secondary school there were quite a few boys who excelled at science and he didn't feel like a fish out of water.

He went to Cambridge, now is a high flying computer scientist in America and has a lovely wife.

Just cherish these lovely, gentle boys and give them the confidence to be themselves.

Sunny75 Fri 19-Aug-16 08:58:21

All I can say is he sounds a lovely lad. The girls love the quiet ones as well. Why should every boy like football! Since the olympics we are reminded that there are other great sports out here he may discover one of those. . Football is overrated and overpaid I better not start a rant on that topic.?

Corncob Fri 19-Aug-16 08:58:00

My two sons were very different. The eldest was very quiet,He enjoyed playing with lego was interested in making things and even liked knitting.The younger one was a typical boy always up to mischief and kicking balls around. They both turned out fine The eldest is married with two lovely daughters is an electrician and turn his hand to most DIY jobs. The younger one joined the forces and has done very well with his career. He has a baby son now with his partner and has a very kind heart. None of us know how our children will turn out,all we can do is love and support them.

harrysgran Fri 19-Aug-16 08:53:44

It's sad to stereotype children like this I only hope your DG doesn't hear this as it could be upsetting for him what does it matter to others and what is a typical boy if he is kind gentle that's wonderful my own DG is often described by others as geeky he is also sensitive to others but I have also witnessed how he can still stand up to other children and hold his own which in today's society is vital .

tiffaney Fri 19-Aug-16 08:48:14

He hasn't hit puberty yet so it could be all change again. My grandson is 11 and from quite an early age he was a bit obsessive with his collections and knowledge of specific interests. I would never have suspected thinking only that he is a very special clever boy but his teachers thought he might be on the Aspergers spectrum. I'm not saying this is so of your grandson but it did explain a lot to me when reading up on it. Nevertheless, I'm sure he is a lovely boy and we cannot change their nature. Children are all individuals and all we can do is love and support them. And when they hit puberty it's 'all change' again!

Nain9bach Fri 19-Aug-16 08:46:36

The people who pass comment obviously do it in your earshot. Please remind them that there are 6 foot 18 stone rugby players who are gay. I would like you to pass comment to them - how brave would they be to pass comment so leave the child alone. They are being bullies and they will be making these comments in front of your grandson's peers How do you think 10 years olds become so bigoted? Not on their own I can tell you. Small minded twerps.

LullyDully Fri 19-Aug-16 08:36:54

My brother was just like that as a boy. He never played rough games and wasn't a rushing around physical boy. Preferred his cars, trains and maps. Hated football and any school sport.He preferred to explore places alone. He was bright but bullied at school.

I am 3 years younger. He started socialising properly when I did at about 16, I took him along. He soon caught up and was chased by loads of girls.

He developed a love of cycling and walking and used to go on lone mountain biking holidays. He is very good looking, still is at 70. He is happily married with two sons and a lovely granddaughter.

He is a chartered accountant and has run his own business to suit himself for years.

Not everyone fits into a stereotype oldgoose. Don't judge his sexuality because he doesn't stick to that stereotype. He will sort that out when he is ready.

optimist Fri 19-Aug-16 08:32:44

No such thing as a typical boy. Research shows that both genders have identical brains at birth. Their characteristics develop because of the way they are brought up and their influences. So let all children be who they are and do not stereotype the!

optimist Fri 19-Aug-16 08:32:44

No such thing as a typical boy. Research shows that both genders have identical brains at birth. Their characteristics develop because of the way they are brought up and their influences. So let all children be who they are and do not stereotype the!

optimist Fri 19-Aug-16 08:32:44

No such thing as a typical boy. Research shows that both genders have identical brains at birth. Their characteristics develop because of the way they are brought up and their influences. So let all children be who they are and do not stereotype the!

optimist Fri 19-Aug-16 08:32:44

No such thing as a typical boy. Research shows that both genders have identical brains at birth. Their characteristics develop because of the way they are brought up and their influences. So let all children be who they are and do not stereotype the!

optimist Fri 19-Aug-16 08:32:43

No such thing as a typical boy. Research shows that both genders have identical brains at birth. Their characteristics develop because of the way they are brought up and their influences. So let all children be who they are and do not stereotype the!

Jalima Thu 18-Aug-16 23:11:33

Except, thankfully, totally uninterested in football Why thankfully? confused
DS was not allowed to play rugby (medical grounds) so thank goodness for football as he likes sport.
Although, as well as enjoying playing football, he was (and is) a gentle, caring and sensitive boy, now man.
One does not exclude the other.

Crafting Thu 18-Aug-16 22:42:31

My DS was quiet, hated football, shy and had nothing to do with girls until he was in his 20s. He is now happily married and the proud father of 2 gorgeous girls who love him to bits. He has a happy family life. Several close male and female friends and is a calm, confident man. He still hates football!!!

Iam64 Thu 18-Aug-16 21:27:09

I agree oldgoose, it's unfair to label children's sexuality when they're still at primary school. It's unlikely this boy is unaware of the talk about him. I may be misunderstood, but my impression is the term gay isn't being used positively.
I have a number of gay friends/relations and my adult children have friends they grew up with who came out as lesbian or gay in their teens. One of my grown up grandchildren struggles with possibly being gay or more recently transgender. The view that child/young adult expressed to me when I said I had no concerns about their sexuality and would always love them, was relief at being part of a family where the conflicts within could be talked about without criticism or teasing. I know that's a long way from your post about your 10 year old grandson and I do hope people are positive, rather than negative about his personality.

Linsco56 Thu 18-Aug-16 21:07:40

A gentle and kind boy will hopefully grow up to be a gentle and kind man. The girls will love him.

Not all boys and men are macho types and I know a few sensitive and quiet men who are anything but gay but it shouldn't matter one jot.

He sounds like a lovely boy.

M0nica Thu 18-Aug-16 21:07:09

In our household our son was the gentle caring thoughtful one, just like his father. Our daughter was the tyke running everywhere, climbing on things, falling in ponds. Good at maths and physics and generally giving a very good impression of a 'typical' boy.

We now have 2 DGC. DGD has inherited the gentle caring ways of DS (and DDiL). DGS? Ah, yes, loves everything to do with fighting, all fantasy and knights - and Saxons and Vikings. He seems to have inherited the engineering interests of both DGF's. In other words he seems to be fitting the stereotype. Except, thankfully, totally uninterested in football.

These stereotypes are ridiculous. Every child is different and gender has relatively little to do with it, unless pressured by gender conditioning at home.

Greyduster Thu 18-Aug-16 20:56:20

My eldest nephew was one of five boys who were all sporty and outgoing. He was quiet and artistic (a superb and talented woodcarver and photographer) and a first class carpenter. His father didn't like any of the traits he exhibited or the fact that he didn't like sport or "kick over the traces" occasionally like the other four. For his 21st birthday he was offered the choice of a set of golf clubs or nothing. He chose the golf clubs, locked them in a cupboard and never looked at them again. You have to celebrate the differences in your children and grandchildren. We only have one grandchild, and he is very sporty and gregarious, but I like to think that if he had a quieter nature and different interests, he would be encouraged and nurtured in every way.

Anniebach Thu 18-Aug-16 20:26:27

I dislike the typical boy/girl tag, they are little individuals and should be loved and respected as such

annodomini Thu 18-Aug-16 20:04:38

The first paragraph of the OP describes everything my GS1 is not. He has just turned 12 and is a computer nerd, who has an ambition to design computer games. He is affectionate, kind and considerate. The girls at school like him and he has been out with some of them. He's tall for his age and has a quirky sense of humour. In primary school he was on the school council, so is a popular guy despite having two left feet on a football pitch! All of our GSs are their own men, no matter what their attributes and so much the better if they do not feel they have to conform to a macho image. You can tell that I love him to bits!

Jalima Thu 18-Aug-16 20:01:46

You can't put labels on children; being quiet and studious does not necessarily mean he is gay.
And anyway, very 'blokey' macho men are often gay.

He sounds as if he's a lovely boy.

JessM Thu 18-Aug-16 19:36:25

Probably more geeky than gay. If anyone starts sniping or categorising remind them it's not the macho-men that run the world and make fortunes these days - it's the geeks like Bill Gates. And its the geeks that design all that modern technology - from formula one cars to smart phones.

whitewave Thu 18-Aug-16 18:57:33

There isn't such a thing as a typical boy any more than there is a typical girl or typical any gender. That went out with the arc and we allow people to be themselves now.

oldgoose Thu 18-Aug-16 18:51:16

Thankyou everyone, it's good to see that people understand and appreciate that boys can be individuals and that some of you have had children who were similar.
His parents are very supportive of him. I have to admit that my Son-In-Law (a very 'blokey' sort) started to take my grandson to football matches and my grandson hated it and dreaded it. He would be pacified with a cup of hot chocolate and some crisps but now my son-in-law has realised that he would be better taking his daughters, who both love football (both playing and watching - in fact the younger one is going to join a girl's team in September). To be honest I get a bit upset that I can't paint my Grand-daughter's nails or do their hair, but they are both dead against it ! I am always telling my Grandson what a great person he is, a good friend to have, polite and friendly and that this will stand him in good stead in later life and I think that pleases him.

millymouge Thu 18-Aug-16 18:39:11

Why is it because a boy is quiet he is immediately labelled as gay. If close family and friends said that about my child they would never be allowed in the house again. That is absolutely cruel. It is rediculous to say a child is one thing or the other just because they don't fit into a certain box. Why should a boy be physical, like football, fight other boys. I hope Oldgoose he can rely on you to flatten anyone who makes that suggestion in the future. His parents should encourage all that he wants to do and to be.