Holidaying with my daughter, son in law and 2 and half year old grandsons

I don't think you should judge all young parents. What's wrong with helping out and caring for your grandchildren to me it's a pleasure to collect them from school and enjoy sometimes hilarious conversations over the tea table. Also such a privilege when they tell you the odd secret and worry that they might have. I am certainly not taken for granted but valued for the help I give.

Why would you expect them to offer to pay when they are offering you the opportunity to be with your family I don't get this at all

I understand we re all different and I totally accept that not everyone especially old people want kids running round on holiday but what I don't understand is if they are offering you a holiday with then why would people expect them to pay for you unless they said " Could you come along as a babysitter and au pair " if they are just trying to be kind and include you of course you d be expected to pay your way unless they are loaded and you are limited in your cash then it would be a bit mean

Why are so many on here coming across as anti other people s kids you ll be telling me next they shouldn't be allowed in planes or restaurants

Unless they were offering to pay,that would be a 'no' from me. If they WERE paying,I would accept gratefully and go as I can ill-afford that sort of money for a week's holiday. But to be brutally honest,spending a week in the company of young families and other people's screaming kids is NOT my ideal holiday. I adore my 10 year old DGD and love spending time with her but everyone else's kids? Nope.

Thankfully your dd's idea of a holiday isn't that of my DS and DDIL.
We've been away with them and dgs1 twice, self catering in the Italian Dolomites and had a fantastic time. We planning another one with both DGSs next year.
Our collective idea of hell would be a hotel surrounded by umpteen other children ?

Alwayslookonthebrightside ...

I'm so glad a read this. I've been upset that my daughter doesn't want me on holiday with her ,husband and grandkids. I had a rosy vision of watching the kids playing happily on the beach and me relaxing with them all. Thank you for making me realise that other people's kids will be there. I don't even like other people's teens much. I now know a few days here and there will be best. Thanks all.

My kids owe me nothing! I chose to have them and enjoyed bringing them up. My mum helped me out when I needed childcare /babysitting and enjoyed developing the relationship with her DGDs & I in turn pass that on.
Life is different nowadays and, without my help with childcare, it would not be financially beneficial for my DDs to work. I love the relationship I have with my 4 DGC and manage to have a full social life of my own, work p/t and do childcare. We took our 2 DGDs away for a few days to give my DD a few days rest/relax time last week. We had fun and so did she! Win Win!

No you are not being selfish at all. Young parents today are totally self centred. They expect far to much from grandparents. Such as baby sitters, child minders, money givers ( they rarely pay back). Now the trend is to expect us to have their children while they go on holiday for: wait for it----------- one or two weeks holiday. The utter cheek of it. Youve got it very wrong indeed. We should look out for our parents no matter what. They have gone through bringing up children etc. They are right to enjoy themselves, spend any money they may have on whatever they choose, chill and rest as much as they want. Most grandparents never had help from anybody, they just got on with it and wouldn't dream of asking for help. Wake up young parents, your children, your resposibility. Get on with it. Stop moaning, we owe you nothing

Blimey
If we are asked to do anything that involves our grand children we always say yes unless we have already arranged something. Spent 7 years looking after them for two days a week....80miles from home...have had them for two weeks this summer holiday and keep half terms free and big family foreign on continent earlier in year. Absolutely no virtue here, we just love being with them and enjoy all the activities, theatre, cinema, museums we probably wouldn't do on our own!!As they seem to love being with us we are hanging in there cos reckon teenagers might view late 70year olds differently!!!

Have had holiday with ds dil dd her partner and 4granchildren in this country was never asked to babysit and we chose when to go with them must say I loved every minute but it wasn't only holiday we had don't think they would ask us to abroad with them if they did I would have to really think about it and it would depend where they were going . You have to do things for you don't feel guilty enjoy your cruise

Bluebelle I agree with you absolutely. It is a privilege to have and enjoy grandchildren. The OP should be happy to be asked. Reading some of the threads on GN , it is the last thing that some daughters would want. She is very lucky

You know your daughter best so you know if you are being asked just for easy babysitting or because she thought you would want to share a special time with your family and to "make memories". I understand the reluctance to go to a family hotel and maybe a villa or apartment would have been a better option but then someone has to be organised with food preparation etc. Pros and cons in both situations.

If she asks other granny and that all have a fab time you can't feel 'left out'. We all have choices and consequences follow!

I don't think anyone has said they don't want to holiday with their GCs just not a whole crowd of other kids. Have you seen the way some of these children behave?

Me too Gangan I think it's a premier deal to spend time watching ours and other kids having a good time

Grandkids are with you such a short time

Every year I take trains and a plane to pick three grandkids up to bring to mine for a week or ten days then travel to take them back I fund it all on my pension but I just hope when I m gone they ll have some happy memories of those hols

gosh to talk about being with your grand kids as 'suffering' is very harsh I think

Not having been in this position as my family live four thousand miles away.How ever if like me you find some kids obnoxious I blame the parents and some you would love to be with then no be honest and tell your family you love them but you don't love other peoples kids and if you are grumpy you will spoil their holiday as well as your grandchildrens.

Let the other grandma suffer!!

But Londongirl if the idea of this particular holiday fills you with horror, and I do see your point, then just politely decline. They'll get over it.

Gangan1 I'm with you 100%, and love holidaying with the 'children' and their children.

I must be in a minority here. I love going on holiday with my grandchildren and my children. I love their company and we are both happy that they enjoy ours enough to go on holiday with us. My eldest grandchild is nearly 17 and I know in a couple of years she will be off to University so I am making the most of spending time with her. I couldn't afford the holidays years ago when my children were small, so I have enjoyed the Disney and Lapland holidays with the grandchildren. I also enjoy cruises and have been on a few now and for the first time next year we are cruising with grandchildren.

Benidorm old town used to be charming years ago - 70s / early 80s. You could go to real tapas bars, watch genuine flamenco and chat with the locals. From what I see on the TV now it looks horrendous! I have an acquaintance who goes every year for a 'girls' holiday (she's in her 50s) and the photos she sends make me so sad. Lots of drunken middle aged (and older!) people pretending to be teenagers ....

harrigran, this amused me. There's no way DH and I would ever go to Benidorm. From what we've seen of it on TV it is absolutely not our thing. A couple of years ago, wanting some sunshine before winter set in, we flew from our local airport to Alicante. Almost everyone else on the flight went on to Benidorm, we stayed in Alicante, which is a charming old town. We stayed at a lovely hotel, ate Spanish food, tried our hand at speaking Spanish, did some sightseeing. In other words it was the local food, language, scenery and culture that we went for. I don't think we'd get that in Benidorm! And as for the type of holiday originally being discussed, all in in one hotel, no, that's a vision of purgatory.

I'm with Bluebelle!

Ah Thankyou Falconbird. Maybe its partly to do with being an older mum, I certainly take more time to consider how others are feeling as I've got older, which I may not have done if I had young children in my 20s!
My MIL lives overseas and we have never met but my parents are close by. My boyfriend and I both work so I really appreciate the 1 day a week that nanny and granddad look after my daughter, she loves spending time with them. Incidently I've seen stories on here of grandparents becoming pretty much unpaid full time childcare providers, with little thanks and quite frankly it horrified me!

Just say no! I forked out a fortune for a self catering apartment in St Ives (Cornwall) last year at half term, paid for everything, meals out, parking, fuel to get there, the lot! DIL just stayed in bed all day until it was time to dress up and be taken out in the evening for dinner, DS only wanted to find the pubs or sleep most of the time, whilst we and my DD & SIL (who have no children as yet) ended up looking after the little one every day. Much as I adore my little GD (and look after her lots for them so they can work or have time alone) I was so very cross after all the effort and expense I had gone to that I vowed never to do it again! They can pay for their own holidays and look after their own child whilst away in the future. Having said that, we took just our DGD to the seaside for two nights at the beginning of the summer and loved every minute with just the three of us !

If I was paying and that was the only holiday I would be taking in the year (and I didn't like child-centred holidays), I would not want to go either. I think it's reasonable to say that you would find it a bit too tiring and these days you prefer something quieter and more relaxing.

It can be a bit tiring with lots of children around but, on balance, I quite like family holidays and I don't mind babysitting if they want to go out - provided it's appreciated and not taken for granted. We do, though, like to have at least a mini-break on our own as well.