Grandchildren who constantly argue

When mine were young I found that a kitchen timer was very useful for cutting down aggression about taking turns. Set it for a reasonable time, put it where they can see and here it but not sabotage the setting, and be scrupulously fair in allocating times and policing changeovers. They can see that the minutes are ticking down and they will be getting their shot soon, and the one currently enjoying possession can be warned that there are five minutes left - four - three - two - one - get ready - half time, all change!

Skimming through the active threads, I initially read this as Grans who argue perish the thought!

They both want your attention - could you suggest that if they are "good", you will give each of them an hour of your time to choose an activity to do with you from a list- ie drawing together, crafts, making cake,let them apply nail varnish on you etc, making papier mache ornament?. The other one could do it too - provided they were good. Then later in day it would be their turn.Have a clock showing time of each session. If not behaving well, ignore (well try) and sit and read etc.
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The best thing my boys loved when young was my undivided attention, as I also worked and was very busy.

Mr LD has two younger brothers 67/ 68. He is 70. They don't meet up often but can not agree on much and love to annoy one another. It amazes.me.
My brother and.I are.so.amicable. he is.3.years.older.than me. I don't remember.arguing as.we.had.different.interests.even when young........except Monopoly.now I think of it, he always won. I used to beat him at Cluedo.

If we bickered, mum would send us outside; i did the same with my children. My sisters and I are not on speaking terms, my DCs are extremely fond of each other... my two GDs 4 & 6 are starting to, but the elder is very bossy and the younger more laid back...

Ignore their bickering. Providing they aren't hurting each other then get out your Kindle/crossword/knitting/turn on your radio and settle down with a tune them out and leave them to it.

If they are vying for attention then that what they won't get it.

If they start 'playing nicely' then stop what you're doing and comment on hiow good they're being.

and were apparently always well-behaved when they were out or at other people's houses!

Mine were like that too Deedaa
They drove me to distraction until they were well into their teens, but if anyone else upset one of them, the others were always there to defend them.

My two argued endlessly but if an outsider upset one of them the other one was there instantly to defend them.

Nvella it sound like the kind of thing my 3 would cause a world war over !

Have them one at a time. We all think we need to be Mrs Fixit but this is not your problem to sort out! Most bickering like this is because of sibling rivalry between highly competitive children where both are vying for attention and trying to get one up on the other. Time spent individually with you may well be the better option - more enjoyable for yourselves and even more special for both of your DGC.

Nvella ?

My favourite with my two boys was in the car - "Tell him to stop looking out of my window"!

Apologies for grammar slippage!

Sibling scrapping is normal and mostly don't lead to the Cain and Abel conclusion! My sisters and I argued constantly to the great distress of our poor mother, but we became, and still are, the best of friends, 70 years on.

I mean OH well!!!

On well, I'm glad it's not just my two. They are a major pain when they are together, individually they are delightful. As others have said, it is very tiring policing these constant fall-outs so I'm also going to go down the route of 'one at a time' in future.

I don't have any trouble with mine, just say to them, don't mess with the nanny, or threaten to hang them on the washing line by their ears, seems to work quite well

My three are 10,8 and 6. Two of them will "gang up" again the other in any combination. As OP says the bickering can be over anything so we have a rota set up on their bedroom wall . Who's turn it is to sleep in which bed, who sits where at the dinner table ( there is a premium seat ) and just about anything else you could imagine . Tomorrow it will be who gets ready for school first, who brushes teeth first , who sits where in the car etc.
I think it's normal sibling behaviour especially when you have children quite close in ages .

My youngest 2 were like cat and dog till one left home. It was so wearing. I just had to keep them apart as much as possible. They are friends now!

Can't remember how we were when staying with widowed grandmother for a few days but my sister and I were always arguing and trying to get each other in trouble at home. She is 5 years younger than me and we didn't get on until I got married and left home the country!

Totally normal, my two that I see the most(boy and girl) have bickered and argued and vied for attention all the way through their lives, my three who live away all girls 'bitch fight' as my daughter calls it, constantly, two against one, then the other two against another one they are great friends for half an hour then the screaming, shouting, door banging starts My two that live in NZ are said to be great friends but then I don't see them they are a boy and girl and four years between them so maybe that makes the difference

I seem to remember someone, mum or nanna? begging my brother and me to stop arguing. We looked at them in astonishment, we were so used to contradicting each other it never occurred to us that it might upset anyone. Try being very emotional about it they may just realise how you feel.

I have bad news for all you grandparents out there! It doesn't get any better as they grow older. DD1's 2 boys 11 and 17, and girl 15 are worse than ever these days. They know exactly how to wind each other up. I tell them not to react but it falls on deaf ears. I am disgusted with them, it is about time they learnt to consider the feelings of others. Fortunately they are always polite to me.

It is what children do, bicker and fight. I think same sex siblings are the worst. I never had any problems with my DC as I had one of each and they just played their own games. I very rarely have both GC to stay together as it is way too tiring.
Bribery doesn't work because they want instant gratification and not wait till later for their reward.

Our 2 GSs 9 and 6 argue a lot, mainly after a sustained bout of Minecraft! On the other hand, they can work well when collaborating on that. It tends to be the older one who instigates the rows! He is just beginning to show signs of adolescent strops ? I find that they are much worse if they are tired or hungry, or have been with their father as he tends to feed them junk food or sweets, and if they stay with him they don't go to bed until he does.