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Grandchildren who constantly argue

(29 Posts)
redjune Mon 12-Sep-16 11:40:46

My granddaughters age 6 and 4 constantly argue and bicker when they are together.
We looked after them two days last week and were totally fed up at the end of it. They argue about anything and everything, who can speak, who can sit on which chair, anything.....
My husband thinks we should just have them one at a time as they are fine on their own, but I think we need to tackle the problem and try to sort it out.
I know they are both craving attention, but need some strategies to deal with sibling rivalry like this.
Any ideas would be welcome.

Wobblybits Mon 12-Sep-16 11:51:13

Our 6 and 3 year old GS's are just the same, looking after bothe of them can be very tiring, one at a time is lovely. As I have said elsewhere their idea of playing nicely is that there is no blood.
If the weather is warm bubbles and the garden sprinkler works well to keep them playing together.

Luckygirl Mon 12-Sep-16 12:05:08

I look after 2 of my GC regularly one day a week. When we set it up I said one at a time! - it has worked out fine.

M0nica Mon 12-Sep-16 14:12:30

Can you incentivise them (aka bribery) to take turns? Toss a coin for who gets precedence at the beginning of the day and turn and turn about during the day, with the offer of crisps or a trip to the park or swimming pool at the end of the day if they share.

Judthepud2 Mon 12-Sep-16 14:24:21

Our 2 GSs 9 and 6 argue a lot, mainly after a sustained bout of Minecraft! On the other hand, they can work well when collaborating on that. It tends to be the older one who instigates the rows! He is just beginning to show signs of adolescent strops 😩 I find that they are much worse if they are tired or hungry, or have been with their father as he tends to feed them junk food or sweets, and if they stay with him they don't go to bed until he does.

harrigran Mon 12-Sep-16 14:24:25

It is what children do, bicker and fight. I think same sex siblings are the worst. I never had any problems with my DC as I had one of each and they just played their own games. I very rarely have both GC to stay together as it is way too tiring.
Bribery doesn't work because they want instant gratification and not wait till later for their reward.

shysal Mon 12-Sep-16 15:21:52

I have bad news for all you grandparents out there! It doesn't get any better as they grow older. DD1's 2 boys 11 and 17, and girl 15 are worse than ever these days. They know exactly how to wind each other up. I tell them not to react but it falls on deaf ears. I am disgusted with them, it is about time they learnt to consider the feelings of others. Fortunately they are always polite to me.

trisher Mon 12-Sep-16 18:27:41

I seem to remember someone, mum or nanna? begging my brother and me to stop arguing. We looked at them in astonishment, we were so used to contradicting each other it never occurred to us that it might upset anyone. Try being very emotional about it they may just realise how you feel.

BlueBelle Mon 12-Sep-16 18:44:04

Totally normal, my two that I see the most(boy and girl) have bickered and argued and vied for attention all the way through their lives, my three who live away all girls 'bitch fight' as my daughter calls it, constantly, two against one, then the other two against another one they are great friends for half an hour then the screaming, shouting, door banging starts My two that live in NZ are said to be great friends but then I don't see them they are a boy and girl and four years between them so maybe that makes the difference

Swanny Mon 12-Sep-16 18:49:32

Can't remember how we were when staying with widowed grandmother for a few days but my sister and I were always arguing and trying to get each other in trouble at home. She is 5 years younger than me and we didn't get on until I got married and left home the country! grin

suzied Mon 12-Sep-16 19:23:45

My youngest 2 were like cat and dog till one left home. It was so wearing. I just had to keep them apart as much as possible. They are friends now!

gillybob Mon 12-Sep-16 19:26:18

My three are 10,8 and 6. Two of them will "gang up" again the other in any combination. As OP says the bickering can be over anything so we have a rota set up on their bedroom wall . Who's turn it is to sleep in which bed, who sits where at the dinner table ( there is a premium seat ) and just about anything else you could imagine . Tomorrow it will be who gets ready for school first, who brushes teeth first , who sits where in the car etc.
I think it's normal sibling behaviour especially when you have children quite close in ages .

Nannylovesshopping Mon 12-Sep-16 19:51:24

I don't have any trouble with mine, just say to them, don't mess with the nanny, or threaten to hang them on the washing line by their ears, seems to work quite wellgrin

NotTooOld Tue 13-Sep-16 18:00:07

On well, I'm glad it's not just my two. They are a major pain when they are together, individually they are delightful. As others have said, it is very tiring policing these constant fall-outs so I'm also going to go down the route of 'one at a time' in future.

NotTooOld Tue 13-Sep-16 18:00:34

I mean OH well!!!

annodomini Tue 13-Sep-16 18:25:17

Sibling scrapping is normal and mostly don't lead to the Cain and Abel conclusion! My sisters and I argued constantly to the great distress of our poor mother, but we became, and still are, the best of friends, 70 years on.

annodomini Tue 13-Sep-16 18:25:51

Apologies for grammar slippage!

Nvella Tue 13-Sep-16 18:31:44

My favourite with my two boys was in the car - "Tell him to stop looking out of my window"!

Linsco56 Tue 13-Sep-16 19:53:33

Nvella 😂

MagicWand Tue 13-Sep-16 21:46:41

Have them one at a time. We all think we need to be Mrs Fixit but this is not your problem to sort out! Most bickering like this is because of sibling rivalry between highly competitive children where both are vying for attention and trying to get one up on the other. Time spent individually with you may well be the better option - more enjoyable for yourselves and even more special for both of your DGC.

gillybob Tue 13-Sep-16 21:51:04

grin Nvella it sound like the kind of thing my 3 would cause a world war over !

Deedaa Wed 14-Sep-16 20:46:49

My two argued endlessly but if an outsider upset one of them the other one was there instantly to defend them.

Jalima Wed 14-Sep-16 21:31:37

Mine were like that too Deedaa
They drove me to distraction until they were well into their teens, but if anyone else upset one of them, the others were always there to defend them.

Jalima Wed 14-Sep-16 21:32:29

and were apparently always well-behaved when they were out or at other people's houses!

Anya Thu 15-Sep-16 06:56:54

Ignore their bickering. Providing they aren't hurting each other then get out your Kindle/crossword/knitting/turn on your radio and settle down with a brew tune them out and leave them to it.

If they are vying for attention then that what they won't get it.

If they start 'playing nicely' then stop what you're doing and comment on hiow good they're being.