single mums

I couldn't agree more! Call me old fashioned but it is MY responsibility to provide for MY children!

Apparently the Express is even worse! Shock, horror...

I was a single mum with 2 children, one with learning disabilities. Was given a lovely council house in a village and struggled to bring them up, earn some money and have a life. Little or no support from the drinking, betting ex. It was hard, I would do temp jobs during term time and so pay rent etc. I would then have to stop work for school hols becauseof childcare problems and would then have to go through the system again of claiming state support. Yes I knew the system and I used because it was there for people who needed it. but I also worked when I could. Those who have never had to use the benefit system should be b....y gateful that nothing has ever happened to put them in the position of having to claim. The saying there but for the grace......etc. We need to have some compassion and probably stop reading The Daily Mail!

I was another deserted wife left by H to cope with 2 small children and endless debts. We didn't have holidays and I didn't choose my circumstances

Yes it was "normal" in the 70s for Mothers of small children to stay at home and look after them. I did it, and in my case didn't have a choice as we were faraway from family who might have helped and husband's work pattern meant I couldn't take part-time work.We mostly had about 10 years as "housewives" (horrible term!) All of my friends were in the same position and struggled financially. However, we did charity work, ran playgroups, did correspondence degreees etc. and still managed to spend plenty of time with our children. I feel that perhaps we were better off than my daughter's generation, many of whom have to work full time to pay the bills whether they want to or not, or if they stay at home to look after their children, are criticised for "wasting their education" Sorry, a bit off the point of the discussion, I know. I agree with the poster about walking a mile in someone else's moccasins. I think some Gransnetters would do well to reflect on this before they start sounding off.

You something to say about 'yea gods' daphne?

Nope, just that the phrase is normally "Ye gods"

I'm sure there are a few people who play the system and get more than their share of benefits, but this is small beer compared to the vast amount of tax not paid by big companies, who spend enormous amounts of money to lawyers to facilitate this. That's what makes steam come out of my ears.

I was a single mum for many years I worked hard to keep a roof over our heads but sadly I agree for many it is an easy life and a career choice as they rarely stop at one child and carry on having more once is a mistake twice is downright irresponsible

It's not just single parent a man I know gave up work went on dole and said why not my parents paid taxes and didn't claim so I'm only having their share he got butter etc when we had butter mountains , not long ago got new boiler and radiators through scheme government was funding . There will always be people who grab everything they can ,but at other end of society you will get rich people who have no idea how poorer people live not paying correct tax and claiming fiddled expenses . ? To all those brave and strong enough to leave abusive partners and also those widowed young

Yes in my day as a mother of a child under 16 (80s and 90s(we all got child benefit, regardless of income and how many children we had.
Also a bit surprised a PP thought it used to be 'normal' for mothers not to go back to work. I certainly went back full time in the 80s and not just for financial reasons.

Gillybob I so admire you for taking responsibility for your situation.

I suppose it's hard to understand really, in the 70's when my daughter was born I didn't go back to work Mums didn't then we'll not many anyway. We struggled on my husbands wages and we did struggle went without a lot of things excepy food we were never hungary but it was hard. Don't think you claimed for anything in those days you just got on with it.
Now most people get help and I suppose some of us get annoyed about it, I get cross when I read about things like that and people are expecting the local council to support them all the time. and yes there are a lot of single mums who do work full time and do struggle but there are the successful ones with degrees etc who do well too.

DianneAngel, Fathers who dont support their children are the lowest of the low and mothers who wont allow a man to be a father are not far behind. But this is not what my OP was about, i was annoyed that a woman who has been given so much help doesnt seem to be grateful.

Three of my sisters were single mums after their husbands/partners left them - 2 worked and claimed some benefits, but continued to struggle and pay off mortgages they'd been left with with no help from their exes. One never worked, lived in rented accommodation that the Council paid the rent for and claimed all the benefits she could.
Both the working mothers have 4 children each and all their children are working and bring up their own families.
The one that has never worked is now trying to find a job in her late fifties her benefits have reduced, her children have left home, only one works part-time a single mother, the rest do not work.
I see a pattern here.
I love all my sisters dearly and I guess the world would be odd if everyone was the same, some people have different values and morals.

As already pointed out by daphnedill, the benefit system is more demanding of a return to work and less generous. Clothing allowances were available in th1960's, students could 'sign on' outside term time .

You something to say about 'yea gods' daphne??

Other than child benefit whatever it is called these days. She had no maternity leave either as she works freelance. Hopefully her daughter will grown up with the same work ethic.

I wish this thread had been titled 'some single mums'. My daughter works her socks off to provide for her baby, pay for childcare and save to get her own place. I can't remember when she last went out in the evening. Of course she is lucky to have my help but she has never taken a penny in benefits.

Surely it is the fact that this single mum took her moans to the paper that puts this story in a poor light. How or why she is a single mum is irrelevant if she had thought in advance that there might be a power disruption during the rewire and showed some gratitude for the work being done we might have a little sympathy. Not easy living in a house that is being rewired but those of us with mortgages would have had to foot the bill for the rewire as well. This lack of appreciation of what she has been given is what gets our backs up not that she gets it in the first place. As has been said she no doubt was deserving when the house was allocated.

for Child Allowance, read Family Allowance - confusing myself now!

gillybob, yes, Child Allowance changed to Child Benefit in 1975, and included all children.

I have a lot of sympathy for anyone who finds themselves on hard times through no fault of their own, or indeed if they make a mistake, and they fall into that spiral of debt and difficulty.

At the same time, whilst the media - local and national - inevitably focus on the so-called "benefit cheats". There are even rafts of telly programmes about them - obviously with adverts for stuff to buy.

BUT - why don't the local newspapers as well as the nationals shine a light so readily on small as well as large businesses that engage in aggressive tax avoidance schemes. For me these are the ultimate "benefit cheats", since not only do they get away with not paying their dues to the society they apparently believe in, but they prevent genuine claimants from being helped, as local government funding cuts continue to be imposed.

The media far too often for me focuses on the easy targets, and not enough on the real menaces to our society.

I am sure I got child benefit for my son Ana I recall having a payment book with tear out "vouchers" he would have been my only child and that would have been in and around 1980.

A couple of other facts (checkable with the ONS):

The teenage pregnancy rate is falling;

The biggest group of single parents comprises people in their 30s and 40s, who have been in a steady relationship;

The majority of single parents work.

No, they didn't, but their husband (usually) received a tax allowance.