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(152 Posts)
grannypiper Tue 18-Oct-16 08:25:45

Hi, i have never started a post but this morning i have steam coming out of my ears after reading a article in my local rag about a young single mum moaning about how hard done by she is, the council re wired her house and according to her this meant the broke her washing machine ! and left her freezer off for so long it destroyed all of the food inside ( she had completely restocked her freezer before the planned work started), council say she signed the form to say the freezer had been turned back on after the work was completed but that is there argument to fight over, what got me fuming was that she is photographed with the usual sad face and is complaining that she had to use a credit card to buy a NEW washing machine and ask for a council loan to buy food and this has made her feel SHE cant provide for her children and that she has never asked for anything in her life !!!!!!!!!!! aagghh i was fuming, as a single mum she has asked for and has been given a council house, no doubt was given a maternity grant to buy a pram, cot and highchair of course dont forget the milk tokens or the rent being paid and the weekly income support. How dare she say she provides for her children or that she has never asked for anything in her life, and then have the cheek to go to the media and slag off the hand that feeds her,it is outrageous. These young girls are incredulous and have great sense of entitlement. Rant over.

BBbevan Tue 18-Oct-16 08:38:15

Not all single Mums are like that. Many are very hard working. However it is the irresponsible, grabby ones that one remembers.
I knew a family, Mum and Dad ( not married) with 4 children The 3 eldest girls were school refusers so had loads of input from school, social services etc. All 3 went on to have babies at a young age and all 3 were given flats. This of course came with lots of help from different agencies . Then Mum and Dad split and Dad was given a flat plus furniture etc. Mum and the youngest child stayed in the original home.
6 people, 5 homes and all living on benefits. angry

Dilinneed Tue 18-Oct-16 08:42:11

A lot of these type of stuff is overplayed for entertainment by the reporters. Also we don't know the circumstances to which she becasme a single parent, we also don't know her contribution. Did she work prior, is she a victim of abuse, is she currently working part time? I was a single mum at one point, on benefit, receiving housing benefit, a home, etc. I was a domestic abuse victim and my ex left me in such debt I had to go without food a lot as I couldn't afford to he's the my house and eat sometimes.

It's a big misconception that those on benefits love a life of luxury, I have been there and it's miserable. Being judged for any penny spent as its 'not my money' it's very extreme circumstances where benefit fraud is at play when people are having top class holidays while on benefit. Tv also exploits and belittles those in receipts of benefits so you just don't know the true story.

Your post is very presumptuous and it makes me sad that the older generation Judy don't understand how hard it is to get on your feet these days.

Wobblybits Tue 18-Oct-16 08:46:11

I would take any story in an newspaper and especially a local one with a huge pinch of salt. Why ruin a good story with the truth.

Anniebach Tue 18-Oct-16 08:49:07

Bite the hand that feeds her ?

annsixty Tue 18-Oct-16 08:49:53

My single mum D works very hard although only part time. She has a small mortgage and is home schooling her 2 children, one of whom is unwell. In her spare time she is studying for a Masters degree. However I totally understand what you mean, the only financial help my D gets from the state is working tax credit, the rest comes from us and we know we are fortunate enough to be able to provide it.

Anya Tue 18-Oct-16 08:53:49

Do you mean presumptive perhaps Dilinneed?

grannypiper you will get lots of posts telling you off I guess. But in truth there are people like this, though there are also lots of people on benefits who are there through just bad luck.

However, you are quite entitled to have your say so don't let other put you off posting.

Maggiemaybe Tue 18-Oct-16 08:53:49

Yes, it happens, unfortunately. But the vast majority of single mums are doing their very best to bring up their children well in difficult circumstances. I have a lot of admiration for them - it's a hard enough job with two parents on the spot.

Dilinneed Tue 18-Oct-16 08:57:59

Anya yes- that's exactly what I meant, can you tell kids are giving me a hard time lol

annsixty Tue 18-Oct-16 08:58:51

My now departed (not in the permanent sense) SiL is living the dream 3000 miles away with his new love who doesn't work and they are spending C.......s in New York.

grannypiper Tue 18-Oct-16 09:19:45

DILINEED,I myself became a single mum when my youngest was 14 ad my DD's husband left her when my DGD was 4 so i do have every sympathy for parents left on their own with children, i worked 3 jobs 7 days aweek to cover my £1100 a month rent and bills, my DD works 3 jobs now, she has remarried but both her and her husband have to work their backsides off to pay private rent of £875 a month for a tiny 2 bed flat, they cant afford another child, unlike intentional single mums. As the young girl in question is 23 with a 4 year old and a 8 month old in an area of very high unemployment i dont suppose for one minute she has worked for years to pay her way, she is so lucky to have been given a house at such a young age, maybe she should be grateful

grannypiper Tue 18-Oct-16 09:23:49

Anya, thank you, i dont have a downer on single mums but i know enough of them in my area both geographically and professionally to understand the way they operate, fir some it is a career choice, i feel very sad they have no other ambition i life but to get pregnant to obtain a house and benefits, would anyone want that for their DD'S ?

Mumsy Tue 18-Oct-16 09:29:15

Sadly there are the minority that know how to work the system and play on public sympathy!

Anniebach Tue 18-Oct-16 09:29:54

You most certainly have a downer on single mothers

Greenfinch Tue 18-Oct-16 09:46:51

I often think the press has it in for those on benefits .What about high earners who craftily avoid paying their taxes.We don't hear so much about them.

changeznameza Tue 18-Oct-16 09:55:10

I agree with Dilineed and Maggiemaybe - it is not easy being a single parent, and if you're on benefits you must have a low income. I think anyone in that situation should be helped by those better off, and if they raise kind, loving children them they should be applauded for doing so in difficult circumstances. In my experience people on benefits feel very sad that they don't own their own home or have much in the way of security, or extra disposable income, I don't think you can say that they are grabby. If I had a freezer-full of food ruined I would actually be devastated as it would cost a lot to replace and I don't have spare money. Why are you being so hard on her? sad

changeznameza Tue 18-Oct-16 09:57:33

(I read the original post up to the string of exclamation marks thinking that it was a post criticising the council. It was only after that that I realised it was criticising the mum!)

Anya Tue 18-Oct-16 10:04:16

I don't think grannypiper has a 'down' on single mums, after all she's been one herself. We all know there's the odd one who knows how to work the system and her post is clearly directed at such a one.

BlueBelle Tue 18-Oct-16 10:06:19

It's the problem with over generalisation

I was a single mum to three children after he left and contributed zilch I had nothing extra, except I was allocated a council house I worked and paid his debts to get us straight, my children are all hard working professional, family people don't forget you still pay rent on council houses

You just can't talk about a whole spectrum of people as if they are 'one' Every pregnant mum gets maternity benefit not just single mums You aren't 'given' a council house if you are lucky enough to be allocated one you pay rent, albeit lower than private or a mortgage For all you know she could be working and paying for all the things you PRESUME she is given You PRESUME she isn't working because it fits your argument but you have no proof apart from the fact she has two young children how do you know her mum doesn't look after them while she works like mine did

It's harsh to generalise just because you think this that or the other is happening direct you fuming anger at some of the unfair situations in the world you can be sure are true

Anniebach Tue 18-Oct-16 10:07:23

I am also shocked by the reply - I know the way they operate - this is said of law breakers

Anya Tue 18-Oct-16 10:20:32

Oh here we go again, with the 'how dare anyone criticise these poor people on benefits brigade' hmm

Completely ignoring the fact that no one is criticising all of them and denying the fact that that this is directed at the few who can, and do, play the system.

Keep this in perspective.

Anniebach Tue 18-Oct-16 10:29:42

Anya, to say 'I know enough of them professionally to understand the way they operate'. since when do councils give loans to buy anything?

gillybob Tue 18-Oct-16 10:54:50

I was a young single mum when my H of only a few months up and left me holding the baby (literally) . I worked full time and put my baby son into nursery . We lived in a tiny little flat rented by the local housing association and I didn't have a single new thing. H moved on to a new life and never so much as bought our son a pair of shoes all his life . I most definitely didn't get the kind of help as described in the OP but I do remember getting milk tokens . Things were very different than they are these days also I think a lot of it is to do with how you were brought up and taking a pride in providing for your family if you are able. I wouldn't have wished my lonely young life on anyone .

Anniebach Tue 18-Oct-16 11:10:39

It is a lonely life Gilly and such a struggle too , I do get upset when single mothers are lumped together as women who make life choices

gillybob Tue 18-Oct-16 11:21:02

I was very lonely Anniebach going to work all day listening to the others making plans for nights out and holidays , then sitting at home alone in a flat with a baby. All my own doing though. I shouldn't have got pregnant at 17 and as I was constantly reminded "you make your own bed, you lie in it "