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Will politics ruin our Christmas?

(89 Posts)
pancakes Wed 30-Nov-16 16:01:56

I've been burying my head in the sand a bit on this but with December beginning tomorrow should probably face my fears. Christmas is to be spent in a big family gathering as usual. But this year I am seriously worried about arguments ruining the whole shebang. Brexit has revealed huge divisions within our family, and created a lot of bitterness which we have tried to heal but I fear it's only plasters over the cracks. My own view is that what's done is done and we are stuck with it whether we like it or not so let's move on. But that's not stopped blame being thrown around along with all sorts of accusations and I worry that it's all so raw a bust-up is unavoidable, especially when a few drinks have been downed. Anyone else in this position? And how can I stop politics from ruining my Christmas?

LaraGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 15-Dec-16 17:20:56

If anyone has found themselves in this position - family tension over Brexit that threatens to spoil things over Christmas - do let us know. We would love to talk to you further. Email us at [email protected]

Christinefrance Tue 13-Dec-16 18:51:36

It's difficult when people can't agree to disagree. Of course we all have our own opinions but we need to respect those of others as well. I think as MOnica says discussion should be limited on Christmas day and anyone pressing their point should donate to the host's favour ite charity.

rosesarered Tue 13-Dec-16 16:34:05

Hope it goes well pancakes ( tell us, after Christmas) tchsmile

rosesarered Tue 13-Dec-16 16:32:08

I think that Monica was using irony.

pancakes Tue 13-Dec-16 14:26:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

paddyann Sat 03-Dec-16 16:50:28

politics is just about life,it really bothers me that there are people who say they aren't interested in politics,so they dont care about Hospitals and housing or education or even street lighting and rail contracts..these are the folk who wont vote in council elctions or general elections and then complain the country is a mess.Well discuss it,sort it out in your mind and then go vote for someone who will do what YOU want in these and all other areas of life.Even if its christmas ,it doesn't have to descend into warfare ,but get your opinions out there and if you cant convert the others to your view you should have learned something from theirs .The biggest ,best thing the independence referendum did was create a well informed electorate

Anan Sat 03-Dec-16 10:26:34

Our children and grandchildren who will all be with us over Christmas are passionate Remainers. Very proud of that!!. The subject is so vital for the future of our grandchildren that it should be debated properly. We have a duty to question the blatant lies of the manipulative Brexiteers. Maybe wait until after Christmas though if there is disagreement.

Elegran Fri 02-Dec-16 19:58:23

The entire globe would then be doused in perpetual gloom. Better to celebrate all the feasts possible, while wishing and working for the joy to be spread everywhere.

M0nica Fri 02-Dec-16 19:46:10

I think we should all avoid celebrating anything at any time unless we know that everyone everywhere is able to share a similar celebration.

SunnySusie Fri 02-Dec-16 19:18:37

We happily discuss anything that comes up at Christmas and I really enjoy hearing all the different views, regardless of whether I agree with them or not. We all voted Remain except my daughters partner, but he will defend his corner without getting too heated about it. It wouldnt do any good trying to ban any topics with my family, they just go right ahead and say what they think regardless!

Synonymous Fri 02-Dec-16 13:03:53

Mercifully I can not even imagine our family having such political discussions as we all think very differently but have a high enough regard for each other not to do so.
Since reading this thread and many others of such ilk I have had a song going through my head which I can remember everyone singing when I was quite young. Do you remember the song "Que sera, sera!" ? I think it was sung then by Doris Day - and probably a good few other singers since too!
I also remember my DGM quoting from Luke 12, part of which goes, "Which of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life" and of course there are many other passages about such things.
Since nobody on earth has the power to change anything then rowing about things is so pointless when we know that it will not make one jot of difference to any situation. Why would you waste such a lovely occasion? Tell them all to desist! hmm

Lewlew Fri 02-Dec-16 10:17:57

I agree with those who have no one to spend the holidays with when they say you (and we) are lucky to have people around them.

That would be another good point for pancakes to mention to her group ... that there are those who have no one, so why waste a family gathering arguing.

flowers

CarrieTaylor Fri 02-Dec-16 10:04:27

Great post LewLew!

Totally agree too, that discussing religion and/or politics in any social situation is the height of bad form.
The discussions become arguments, then it all becomes personal.

I really hope Pancakes, that you and your family have a wonderful day with nothing to spoil the peace and goodwill.

Anya Fri 02-Dec-16 09:10:16

We do all recognise I'm sure that having a family gathering at Christmas is a privilege not enjoyed by everyone.

Mumsy Fri 02-Dec-16 09:05:41

To be quite blunt think yourself lucky you have a family gathering at xmas! regardless of any conflicting conversations. Theres thousands out there who crave a family xmas that have to spend it alone.

Lynnieg Fri 02-Dec-16 08:49:58

As a previous poster said, no politics, sex or religion discussed at the dinner table!
We are mainly teetotal in our family so that helps!

Jan51 Fri 02-Dec-16 07:31:07

No political discussion ever. My Dad always used to tell me that your politics are between you and the ballot paper. My husband and I don't even know how each other vote.

whitewave Thu 01-Dec-16 18:11:13

Blimey time and place springs to mind!!! Isn't it all about giving consideration to everyone else?

NameChange2016 Thu 01-Dec-16 18:06:42

The scattering of my late mother's ashes was straight after the Brexit vote. My mother's brother is a UKIP voter and quite far right. He has upset a number of us before as the rest of us do not agree. The older sister (my aunt) was asked to ask him not to mention politics as it was not a suitable subject for the day.
He managed not to mention politics at all and in fact didn't speak to me once, which I was very happy about.
I think it is reasonable to write to/email all the people and say you do not want politics to be mentioned on this day. I think a fine for a charity of your choice is a great idea!

Rinouchka Thu 01-Dec-16 17:43:46

sarahellenwhitney: well said!

This Christmas, we will have three of our 4 children and their little ones with us. They live far away from us and we hope to just enjoy being together. Cannot imagine letting politics spoil anything.
No politics, only love and fun!

Purpledaffodil Thu 01-Dec-16 17:31:38

Good point Lewlew. If the Christmas truce is threatened I shall point that out to the combatants. smile

Hattiehelga Thu 01-Dec-16 17:21:30

Refuse to join in any conversation which begins on the subject. State quite clearly that Christmas is not the time for political discussion. Stick to your statement and find something else to do.

Diddy1 Thu 01-Dec-16 17:07:11

No political or religious discussions here on Christmas Day thank you, there is so much else to discuss, so just have FUN.

norose4 Thu 01-Dec-16 16:45:26

Yorkshiregel, thank you a great idea , very tempting! ?Cheers

Nelliemoser Thu 01-Dec-16 16:31:31

This will only spoil your Christmas if you let it. So make rules that the subject is our of bounds.

However given my "advice" I have to say that all our family tend to hold very similar political views except DS's partner.

Not to mention that you should all your think yourselves be lucky to have a family gathering.
I don't get many of those.
grin sad