Will politics ruin our Christmas?

Lewlew I too am shocked that families will argue over politics on a Xmas day when families get together to enjoy themselves.I will be alone on xmas day so whoever has family around them on that day be grateful and count your blessings you have a family.Whatever your political views you can shout and scream as much as you like but all it will do is raise your blood pressure and possibly put you in an early grave.Is it worth it?

After the referendum my daughter was becoming very heated, vituperative and rude. However, she managed to cool down long enough to consider that she did not want bad relations with her family and suggested 'we' all cool down and agree not to discuss the matter. Hilarious considering that, firstly, it was she not we who was picking the sore' and, secondly, that her father and I voted differently from each other and neither of us has a cross word over it.

Considering that we bought her up to be rational and mature, not childish and rude it was a bit of a shock that she should start behaving in this manner at all. However, the whole issue along with the 'surprise' Conservative victory and Trump's election seem to have unleashed the spoilt toddler in many who should know better.

My advice about Christmas is to recall the old middle class 'law':- never talk about politics or religion in a social situation. This rule sits alongside 'never eat in the street' and when asked 'How are you?' only ever saying, 'Very well thank you,' even if your leg is falling off. Those oldies knew a thing or two.

the uncles pressing the buttons!!!

pancakes how I feel for you.

As a child, our Christmas as always spoiled by pressing my father's buttons and he would furiously drag us and my mum [in tears] home. Every single -frigging- year! It leaves me with a sense of dread in big family gatherings... I hide in a corner and try to disappear!
Fortunaely, my DH is lovely and we never have had anything like that since we got married. Have to say it helps never having the SiL and her -horrible- delightful/perfect brood, nor any of my own siblings whom I compare to the Taliban!
Do lay down the law - it IS your house and you can lay down the ground rules. If they break them after a few drinks, just leave the room and go for a walk, listen to the radio, talk to us on GN or something quite other until the disagreement has finished. all the best

What is truly ironic is that the subjects of those dinner table discussions, eg Trump and co, Boris, Farage, Corbyn, Cameron, May, Sturgeon, Merkel, Juncker, et al

WILL BE HAVING AN AMAZING FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS with their nearest and dearest...and it will be posh, lavish, and with lots of expensive food, booze and gifts.

So why would anyone want to descend into arguments over them when they really could give a toss about how their policies affect our holidays, financial situations and family dynamics? Does not matter if you are comfortable, a JAM family, or suffering illness (physical or mental). You will NOT be discussed at their celebrations.

Please, please... think of yourselves and your loved ones and friends FIRST this holiday season. No one in power ever will. And I hate to say it, as I admire the Queen, but the royal family are so removed from real life situations outside their charities, that we will be the last subject at their dinner table at Sandringham (or wherever they are this year).

Love your family, and if there are 'deplorables', don't invite them and get on with the people you want to be with.

Simply tell them beforehand no politics allowed. If its in your house they should respect your wishes

Is the gathering to be at your house, pancakes?

If so, tell everyone that you are calling it off because you feel ill at thought of the arguments (as you told us you do).
They may, then, all promise individually not to mention the subject.

If it is not at your house, go out for a refreshing walk if they get started.

Norose4 give your 92 yr old her very own bottle of something she enjoys and she will probably sleep through the day! Oblivious to what is going on around her and happy in her own little world.

Turn the tv off. Stop the papers. Tell them all before they come that politics IS BANNED while they are at your house. That should help.

We will be too busy celebrating Christmas to even think about politics.....that can wait until later.

Aren't we lucky though that we are able to discuss things the way we can without being 'shopped' to secret police as is still happening in parts of the world, and what happened years ago in the 30s and 40s in Germany when children reported their own parents to the authorities. We take so much for granted in this right little, tight little island of ours. Luckily all our family, from top to bottom, are Remainers - the main point of division is Jeremy Corbyn ............

Tell them they can only argue for the opposition, this will make them see the other person's point of view. Also hide the booze until they have gone home. They might not stay long in a dry house.

Im just hoping to forget abut brexit and more importantly Trump over Christmas. I am really worried about the future though.
All the family have the same opinions on these topics fortunately expect sons MiL and I hope she doesn't start making provocative comments! I think everyone will ignore it though.

My family are all supporters of Scottish Independence except for my english son in law,we always spend Christmas with them and his parents come along too,we decided not to talk politics in respect for his family .His mother in particular gets very agitated whenever independence is mentioned .According to my daughter.This year the pressure is off as son in law is newly converted to independence after watching the fiasco that is Westminster this year.We still wont discuss it though ,for his mums sake.

If you have a family that are passionate enough in their views to row about the EU on Christmas Day, then if that subject is banned they are bound to start on something else!
This is a sad old world for many people; we are so fortunate to have food on the table, no bombs dropping on our children, and family to spend the time with. Can't they be grateful for that and leave the arguments for some other time?

We just agree to differ and don't discuss it further as there is little point, no one is listening anyway especially not politicians

Really relevant topic, my husband fell out with his son for over a year over arguing about politics and my husband refused to go to a Christmas celebration with them because son arranged it, in that same year. Everyone else in the family tried in vain to bring them together again, and eventually they made up. Father's Day was the same, after a lovely breakfast they were arguing like cat and dog even though his daughter had warned before not to argue. I absolutely hate it and for me it ruins everything and makes me very unhappy.

It will be pretty hard to stop discussion of politics in our family as we are all politically involved and have strong views. It won't be over Brexit though as we all voted to remain, except that we will comment on what a shambles it is. Our conversation always, inevitably, turns to the situation of the day.
If it really gets to you pancakes, add a couple of bottles of the best wine to your book and Quality Street and, to take all the heat out of the argument raging downstairs, take the corkscrews with you and/or superglue the screw tops. Then they really will have something to argue about.

I think Facebook has a lot to answer for! We had a family gathering not long after the vote and I was extremely anxious because one of my DC has always been right wing whereas the others are not. Words were exchanged on FB with various of their friends joining in on opposite sides and it all got very heated. I voiced my anxieties pre gathering to each of the DC and they agreed that it was a done deal, in the past and they would not let it spoil our rare time together. And they didn't! Grown ups at last?
Hopefully this will continue over the festive season. Shall we water their drinks Pancakes ?

My 92 mother cannot help her self getting passionate about the subject, all attempts to stop her, fall on deaf ears & then she gets upset , it certainly remains (pardon the pun) a very passionate subject with many people . Earplugs & vodka will be on my Christmas list or should that be 'seasonal celebration 'ohpps sorry just thought I would throw that one out there?Merry xmas everyone?

Fortunately, everyone in my immediate family voted Remain. We might have to ban expressing despair or misery just for Christmas. No Brexit, no Trump!

Although I'm happy to discuss politics with my rellys, my personal standpoint is that family is more important than politics. I have a v right wing cousin who regularly debates with me on Facebook (he affectionately calls me 'my little socialist firebrand :D)but I'm sure never to post anything I know will enrage him, like anti-Thatcher stuff (he adores her) & we are generally polite & humorous. However one of my other cousins has fallen out with him via FB & has deleted him. Just not worth it imo. However it is difficult as you say, you can't control how others behave, & I don't envy you negotiating this minefield.

This is a really difficult one. I'm in this 'dangerous' arena too AND I have pretty strong opinions. I've considered the prospective outcome and decided I can really only control ME. Believe me that will be extremely difficult if I hear something expounded which I consider to be outrageous. However....... this is my challenge to me and I will try to stay away from the heavy topics. When specifically asked for an opinion, my plan is to make the case for Christmas joie de Vivre. Help!!!!

I wonder why everyone thinks Babyboomers are well off? We are Babyboomers and existing on the State Pension - not enough to live on, but too much for Pension Credits! I say not enough to live on, we're ok if very careful and whilst both of us are alive.

I agree this Referendum seems to have caused a 'divide'. I get fed up of the 'oldies' getting blamed for voting Brexit - I didn't. I treat the subject as I do Religion and never talk about it, unless I know who I'm talking to also voted to Remain.

I am shocked that people would consider ruining Christmas Day with their personal BS over Leave/Remain! If I had family like that, there would be no Christmas lunch at mine and I'd go to the pub!

If we had a Christmas in the US, at my late brother's place with his widow and grown kids, it would be as you way pancakes. So again, I would not go! Even though my brother was a Trumper... he'd not allow Christmas to be spoilt, bless him.

Same in our family as KatyK and that is the adult way to treat politics within a family.

It should be your house your rules pancakes and even if it isn't your house, let family members know that you won't be joing in any argy-bargy.