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What should my DD and her partner do?

(77 Posts)
Seb2015 Tue 03-Jan-17 14:35:20

My eldest DD's DP has two children aged 10 and 7 from a previous relationship and was seeing them most weekends. My DD is a fab step-mum and gives her time generously and lovingly to them both. However, there has always been tension with the children's mum who seems to see my DD as a threat even though she had nothing to do with the breakdown of the relationship.

Anyway, the older of the children has, over the last few months decided that he wants to stay at home and play computer games most weekends, which has greatly upset his dad and my DD. They have tried persuading him; accepting that he has other interests and that he doesn't want to spend all of his free time going to see dad (even though there are always activities for them to do; it's not just a change of wallpaper!) to be told the following weekend that he isn't coming again; telling him that he hasn't got an option - in other words, playing it every way they can think of but to no avail. They are getting no support from the mum who thinks that children should be free to make their own decisions (even to the point of choosing which high school he should go to) and who has made no secret of egging on backing up her son. He, in the way that all children will, had no trouble tearing himself away from his computer games when it came to visiting his dad and DD to get his Christmas presents, nor did he for his birthday.

Any ideas on how to handle this please? They have asked for my input and I think they need to keep the door open to him but, as they don't have any back-up from his mother, their hands are pretty much tied but you wise lot may have some other thoughts.

Elrel Mon 09-Jan-17 01:57:16

Solitaire - than you for responding. One of the many strengths of Gransnet is that there are people who have relevant experience and information when someone is in a difficult and sometimes confusing situation.