Not sure how I feel

Thanks for the welcome rosesarered and for all other replies replies.
In answer to a question from rubylady - despite DD & her partner being shocked, I think they had the 'if it happens, it happens' kind of attitude
I just wish they had waited until they had their flat first !
But as I mentioned further up, they've done really well to save a good deposit on not so brilliant salaries, so they are at least in a position to move out soon (don't mind them being here temporarily of course)
DD has already said they are worried about telling his mum as she'll be far more vocal about the timing! But DD is prepared for that and I have assured her, like everyone else, she will get over the shock and love her grandchild.

I am just one of life's natural born worriers.
Last nights worries was thinking about folic acid and iron levels (as hers have been low recently)!
Eventually popped a pill that I use if I can't sleep when working nights - so that I could switch off!

It's awful to be such a worrier but I doubt I'll ever change.

christinefrance says it all. Congratulations. A new Gran on the way!

Welcome to the world of grandparenting flaxseed, some worries, some tongue biting and lots of love. There is never a right time to have a baby, when it happens it happens. Be happy for them and try to put your anxieties aside most pregnancies have a happy outcome. It's unfortunate you have experience of problem pregnancies - try to be positive for your daughter she will pick up on negative feelings. Most of us were not well off financially when we had our families but we had happy family lives. Be happy enjoy the time with your daughter.

I think an unplanned pregnancy is a shock to parents and their parents..I remember both one of my own and my daughters and the reactions where totally different from when the pregnancies where planned ..I think everyone felt more in control of their emotions.it does settle down I promise and congratulations

Flaxseed welcome to the forum.
There's often not a right time to have a baby, yet when they arrive it's joyous.
Focus on being optimistic with your DD ( sounds as if you are anyway) and hope for a good outcome.

Did you worry a lot when you were pregnant, flaxseed?

23 is grown up. Unless she asks for advice, say nothing expect how pleased you are for them both.

Was this baby planned or not? I think if it was unplanned and just happened that way, then he/she has been sent for a reason and your daughter will start to heal because of it. It could even help your other daughter too, although it will be hard for her but she also should be happy for her sister.

If it was planned and they are still living apart and have no house together yet, then I understand your emotions. But it is still their decision and you will have to think that they will get on their feet eventually.

The only thing you can do is help them make a budgeting plan to help get them money together for the baby and the house. Get them to see that they may have to look for second hand baby items, freecycle is good, ebay etc. Not everyone can have new and if money is tight, then they have to cut their cloth.

Make sure that you come to some agreement in what you will be providing for, a special gift of maybe the pram or cot etc. But stick to it, they have to learn that if they want a family, they have to provide for it. My ED was a good one for the emotional blackmail of "asking" for things but not (IYSWIM), and I had my hand constantly in my pocket. Now I don't see my grandsons. So please be careful.

And please, stop worrying. This will sort out but this is supposed to be a very exciting and lovely time in your life as well as theirs. She most likely will sail through and have a bouncing baby in a few months who you will go ga ga over. Enjoy. (well, until he/she turns into a surly teenager anyway, ). X

flaxseed I cannot come up with any ideas that could help but I do understand why you feel so worried by the possible difficulties that may occur.

I think you have to go through all these thoughts even though you are happy for her but they will fall away as the days go by. Quite a few issues to deal with but you will do it I'm sure.

Thanks for your responses (and the congratulations!)
I would never let her know DD2 know how I am feeling.
I admitted to being shocked, but then so did she! I congratulated her and have been positive in front of her.
DD is worried about telling her sister and despite being worried myself, I did tell DD that I am sure her sister will be happy for her after the initial shock!

It all just feels like the timing is wrong. DD2 and partner still living apart, with parents. Their hard earned money has now got to stretch to baby stuff as well as home stuff.
Obviously I'll help out where I can but pretty much live hand to mouth myself and have no savings.

God I sound a grump
I think I'm just in shock. I know I'll be smitten once baby is here

Just relax and go with the flow.

My elder daughter has three children, my younger daughter is unable to have a baby, this must not take away the joy of a new life

If you drive s car do you think of all the crashes which happen every year ?

Be happy for your daughter ,

Sorry I can't offer any "real" advice Flaxseed but I would think along the lines of "if she is happy, then I am happy too" .

You say her partner is happy too which is great.

I think you should rejoice in the fact that you are going to be a grandma and give her all the help and encouragement you can. Stay well away from all the horrors you may have seen/heard in your job.

Congratulations to you.

Just try to be happy for them ,and please dont make her feel bad about your other daughters gynae problems ,thats not fair.If they are pleased about this second chance then you should be too,sure there are potential problems ,i had 6 miscarriages and two prem births so I know all too well what they are ,BUT most women have good pregnancies and straight forward deliveries,so dont get wound up about what COULD happen.Congratulations Granny,you'll be as besotted as the rest of us were with our GC