Son in Law problems

she lies and manipulates. This is just not true
But it must be true unless she told her husband she was going out to meet another man (not for sex).

Your daughter had an affair. So she probably does lie and manipulate. It goes with the territory but hard for you Nannyknee to accept. I agree with thatbags. An unusually harsh post from me but this is the real world.

Your son-in-law certainly does have a problem to deal with as his wife was unfaithful. It isn't really any of your business. Say nothing. Do nothing. Just keep out of it. That's clearly what he wants if he has stopped speaking to you. His stance is not unreasonable in the circumstances.

If it makes you uncomfortable, that's just tough. He is uncomfortable too, and justifiably so. Leave him alone.

your daughter had an affair ,you only have her word for it that she didn't sleep with the man ,her husband clearly doesn't believe thats the case,I would back off .He's obviously hurt and angry and as her mother you will not want to see her in a bad light If he's so controlling why does she stay?

It was a very difficult situation you found yourself in. On the one hand your SIL sounds quite domineering, which isn't easy to live with and almost certainly contributed, if not caused your daughter to be susceptible to someone else who wasn't. On the other hand SIL obviously doesn't see it that way! Really the only way to handle this dilemma is to sit on the fence from day 1, as so often things are resolved between the protagonists, leaving you, having come down on one side (rather naturally your daughters!) as the MIL from hell!! I do feel for you, but I think all you can do is discuss it with your daughter and treat your SIL as you did before this happened and just hope that with time things right themselves between you. Good luck!

What do you expect? I don't think you've handled the situation very well and it would seem that you do not like your SiL much.

I think you owe him an apology. After all it was your daughter who had the affair.

He probably also feels guilty for saying those things about your daughter to you, which obviously put you in a difficult position.

As the others have said, all you can do is give it time, don't try to win him over in any way.

I'd just tread carefully and give him space till things settle down and do not discuss it with your daughter or that could come back to bite you on the bum. Your daughter has managed to get her relationship back on track she won't need you stirring the pot, maybe when he may forgive eventually but hes too angry and hurt yet.

I would guess that your son in law has been very hurt, and still is, by your daughters infidelity.
Its a difficult situation all round, but hopefully things will come right, in time. Try not to take it personally, or to get too involved in the dynamics of their relationship.