Feeling nervous

It's not the size of the dog that matters,it's the barking that puts off an intruder.A burglar wants it as quiet as possible to nip in and out.If you are thinking of an intruder who is deranged and dangerous ( not a common occurance) then make sure that you not only lock doors, but have a bolt or a chain as well.Only open small top windows for fresh air at night, and if you have a gate outside, it needs to have two bolts on it.
Sensible precautions.
After that, stop worrying, smashing windows or doors to get in to your property only usually happens in daylight when the owners are out.
Have a phone in the bedroom, and a room where you can lock yourself in, a bathroom say, in an emergency.
Never wedge furniture against your bedroom door!
Above all, stop worrying.
More people are attacked in their homes during daylight, when they have allowed strangers into the house.....that's where a strong chain on the door comes in useful.

I do sympathise with Sunseeker, I have always been a bit "nervy" but we now have a holiday home in a nice quiet area in Cumbria ( we dont live in the UK) I often go over to the house, as I love it and the surroundings, but I hate being on my own, at night. I am gradually getting over this, I have a radio on by my bed, and a little light on, also a door wedge so it would be more difficult to get in, I think. I have a chain on the front door, but just lock the back door, and take the key out, in case I fell ill and the neighbours needed to get in. I sometimes come to my senses, and think, why the heck would anyone want to break in when they know there is someone there, when the house is empty most of the time, no logic really.This wont help Sunseeker, but at least she will know she isnt on her own on this subject. My best wishes to another mature worrier.

You could ask a rep from Crime Prevention to look at your property and advise on security, we did that and it was great. Lots of people lock the back door and leave the key in the lock - a burglar could reach in and access the property. Do you have a burglar alarm? Great deterrent and the burglar numbers have reduced. Our CP chap gave us lots of advice and he knew our area well too, which helped. And he was free of charge too.

It's natural to be nervier if you live alone.It's psychological though, as having an old, and not very well DH in the room with you at night will not make you any safer in reality.Perhaps a big strong six foot son in the next bedroom to you would, but who has that? Study the crime stats of where you live, take sensible precautions and calm fears.

Typo....psychological.

You can have the dog bark without the dog!

www.amazon.co.uk/Electronic-Intruder-Security-Activated-Speakers/dp/B0051EAFOG

It's got good reviews, too.

I used to live in a museum house for their fire insurance purposes. My wing was also alarmed for intruder and fire/smoke, but once in a while it went off. I'd be jumpy for a couple of days, then it would go.

When the building next door caught fire, the smoke drifted towards mine, but before the smoke alarm system picked it up, my cats were in the window meowing their heads off. That was impressive!

I live in a Park Home, safe communities as we are all over 45, no children except DGC visiting. Our road is a dead end so any vehicle or people walking are noticed especially if they're out of the ordinary.

I have taken the key out of my front door, unlocking the door as I've done so at night. Left key in door & door unlocked all night. I have even gone out for the day & left home unlocked, only realising the door wasn't locked when I tried to "unlock" it.

I sleep with the radio on low,, this is something I have always done when on my own in bed (DH sometimes had to work away) even with others in the house

It's like having neighbourhood watch here, we don't pry into others business but know when near neighbours go away, most of us hold a key or know who has one, it's not "nosiness" but peace of mind, even notice what time you go to bed, can't help it as unless you've got blackout blinds/curtains light shines through. Not good if you fall asleep on the settee & wake up at 4am

I have been on my own for 4 years now but feel secure in my home, anyway don't think any-one will break in here, only jewellery I have I wear & no valuable antiques/paintings/collectables

I used to live in a creaky old house and never felt easy living alone there. I have moved to a snug little flat in a block where the neighbours are watchful, though thankfully not intrusive, and the tension and stress has just ebbed away.
Not everyone wants to give up a familiar home, but for me it has been a godsend.

If you like animals, get a dog. Even a tiny one will quickly distinguish between the normal sounds of the house and something not normal. They will warn you about any abnormal sound (most of which are nothing e.g. someone talking just outside), so when they are content (99% of the time at night), you will be content! Best if they sleep on the bed. Both of you have company and are happy and relaxed. A Toy Poodle is small, very clean (they tend to wash themselves like cats, plus need bathing every 3 weeks), doesn't shed and are loving, cheerful, friendly, and can get enough excercise running around the house and garden (although enjoy a walk if it's available)!

I live in a terraced house and some of the creaks are caused by the neighbours - back door closing, walking up stairs, ceiling creaking next door, all sound as though it's my house. On the other hand I would only have to scream or bang on the wall if I had burglars and the neighbour's would hear me. If I come home after dark I have to go upstairs and check all rooms and under beds!
I think movement activated lights front and back are good, but must be properly set so that they don't come on for hedgehogs or a fox. A beware of the dog sign on the gate, a dogbowl and lead in the kitchen, a man's coat and shoes etc can all be a deterrant either when having workmen in or to a burglar. I also have radio 4 on all night.
The other thing to consider is whether your diet contains all the essential vitamins - eg low levels of B and D, and magnesium, can cause anxiety. You could also try taking St John's Wort which is very common amongst older people in some European countries, but it can affect other medicines so check it out on the Internet/with your doctor first.
In spite of everything, I have occasionally left my back door unlocked when I have felt ill, so that someone can get in without breaking the door down, and find me if I die!

Even tiny windows can allow entry, when my parents were burgled a child had been lifted up to a window of 35 cm and then opened the front door.
A couple of years ago we accidentally left both our front doors unlocked for the whole duration of Christmas.

When my mother was widowed she used to call out to an imaginary husband when callers she didn't know came, ie 'I'm just answering the door darling!'

Im not sure. Dog is the answer if she isnt a doggy person (as Im not), though the fake dog barking sounds good. A neighbour was once burgled (in th daytime`) and they got some meat out of the fridge and put it on th floor to distract the dog while they looked for jewellery etc. Silly dog scoffed the meat, tail wagging and didnt raise the alarm!

Great idea about the shoes!

CCTV is another option.An indoor monitor will show you any intruders outside ,no need to go out and investigate, yourself which could be dangerous, and records at the same time.
Ideally have three cameras, these are not cheap, and have them placed in the areas you think are most vulnerable. Your security lights should go on at movement
Make sure your alarm goes through to the police station.
What price your peace of mind.?

St Johns Wort can make you even more nervous. There are better herbal options for nerves. I think getting older can have an effect, either due to a change in hormones and other body chemicals, or due to the knowledge that your body isn't as strong as it once was.

I think you need to take all the necessary precautions. I would add, to the already helpful suggestions here, that you could have a low energy light bulb on somewhere all night. Also, have the radio on all night. This can help both by putting off a burglar and it can make you feel better and not so alone. I presume you have a mobile phone and a landline by your bed?

But having done all these things, you are going to have to take a philosophical view. Nothing is a 100% guarantee you won't get burgled. But people do survive all kinds of horrible things and even end up the richer for them. Don't let it take over your life.

Once again, thanks to everyone for their replies. Getting a dog isn't an option as I am not a dog person (although I will look into the "dog alarm"!) I don't leave my outside lights on all night because a neighbour told me they kept him awake. We do have neighbourhood watch but because the village is so spread out I don't think it works that well. I know I have taken all the precautions I can and that my anxiousness is illogical - hopefully when the nights start getting shorter the anxiousness will fade!

Your anxiousness is not illogical Sunseeker, it's quite the opposite it means you are a very sensible logicaly thinking person who has sensibly taken steps to safeguard yourself. The difficulty is keeping it all in perspective, I have just been reading (on line)about the futility of worry ,as a fellow stresser (when on my own )you have my greatest sympathy. Other than actually moving or changing your circumstances you can only try your best to stay possitive, you have sensibly put all the practical things in place now it is your mind set you need a little help with. There are many ideas around from meditation , personal alarms with quick response , a strong night caps!etc good luck you are not alone X

Ginny42, advice is not to leave chain on in case people have to enter if there is an emergency.( you have a fall or collapse!) They would have great difficulty with bolts and chains on the doors .We securely double lock doors and all windows at night except our bedroom window, - I have to have air, and have keys at neighbours for access during emergencies. My DH is very nervous about break-ins, I take my bag up to bed each night but wonder if I should leave it on display in the hall so any burglar could just take it and leave us alone ?

My mother has the electronic barking dog and it is very good. Very realistic, it sounds as if there is a very large dog waiting in the hallway to attack. She puts it on when she goes out, not sure if she uses it at night as it would certainly wake her up. People who come to the door say "oh, I didn't know you had a dog" and mum just replies "didn't you"?

Not in your situation sunseeker but,coincidently however, I was joking about this subject with my DD's recently. I concluded that if I were I would obtain the biggest (chewed) dog bone that I could find and place it outside my front door along with a giant dog water bowl. Along with the excellent dog bark alarm suggestion I hope it would make life more relaxing for you.

Some great suggestions for Sunseeker, which I will certainly copy, like the dog bowl outside the door, and a big bone, also the beware of dog sign was brilliant too.
I always have a low energy light on and my radio all night by my bed, until it gets lighter, then suddenly things feel better,I am glad the nights are getting shorter!
I think everybodys suggestions have helped a lot of us to calm down and think sensibly, thank you all and good luck to sunseeker.

Get a 'phone in your bedroom. Make sure you know what number to ring for emergency. Put good locks on the bedroom door and DO NOT venture out unless you are certain there is nobody in the house. Get one of those security lights that will switch itself on at certain times and off at certain times to make it look as though there is someone around. We have one for holidays. My OH used to be a policeman. We put his old hat where it can be seen on the hallway window! Maybe you could get one at a fancy dress shop? Do the thing with the 'Beware of the Dog' sign and the dog's bowl outside the back door. We have done that for years. Get windows that have locks on them. When you have done all these things you should forget all about burglars and get a good night's sleep. Easy to say I know.

Sometimes kindly workmen ask if you live alone as they may want to ask you to test something /do something in a few days time and worry that you might not be able to do it.

If asked if you live alone, you can of course, always lie (!) but a better option (as small things often give away that there is no-one else)is to say something like "technically, yes, but I have a friend who stays a lot as: he works near here / she has grandchildren nearby / a son who uses this as his base" - anything that rings true and gives the impression that someone else is often and unpredictably around.

And on the subject of lying, if you want to give the impression that a dog is about, then be ready to answer questions about what breed it is, where you walk it, what vets you use and where it is at the moment (having a procedure at said vets, or out with frequently visiting large grandson)

Sunseeker: I wrote a poem about how it feels years ago:

Is Anyone There?

Some nights when I am all alone
I hear a creak and then a moan
The sound of footsteps on the stair
When I positively know there is no one there
I hear a click, or a tap, tap, tap
I shiver and shake at a sound like that.
Screech! Screech! Twitawoo! Twitawoo!
It’s not only me who is watching you!
I know I am being soft
There is no-one hidden in the loft
There’s nothing to be scared of you see
It is only the house who is whispering to me
It creaks and moans for it is growing old
And its rafters and joints are just getting cold
The tap, tap, tap is the sound of the rain
Falling on to the window pane
The scraping noise is only the sound
Of a small flowerpot as it is blown around.
As I lay in my bed in the dead of the night
I twitch and jump and wait for daylight
When at last morning comes I feel such a fool
For things looked different in the light of the moon.
There is nothing to fear, all my things are still here
So I’ll sit in my chair and have 40 winks
Still I don’t really care what anyone thinks
I know what I heard and it wasn’t a pot
It wasn’t the rain as it dropped on the pane
The footsteps shuffled along the hall
I know I wasn’t just dreaming it all
I am going to move to a house that doesn’t speak
I’ll get on to the agent first thing next week.